Sequel: Hallelujah ›
Lost Cause
Gravity (Pt. 2)
Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees...
Yeah, this time around, I actually like that song.
Amazing?
Probably.
After I made too much out of that heavy moment with Brian, I excused myself and pouted in the room he was nice enough to let me stay in for most of the afternoon.
Needless to say, I confused the fuck out of Brian.
Yay? I mean, it really isn't that hard to do. Just watch him try and do math. :)
While I was in there, I did a lot of thinking... and came up with little to show for it. My main thought?
Brian had soft lips. I would give anything to feel them again.
Sad? Pathetic? Deplorable? Piteous? Lamentable? Pitiful? Rueful? Squalid? Destitute? Give me a thesaurus. I'll find a hundred more words to describe it.
In other news, I think my love for Matt Sanders has been eclipsed by how much I'm infatuated with Brian Elwin Haner Jr. It's four hours later, and I'm listening to Gravity over and over and over again.
I wish I would get tired of it already... because it makes me think of Brian... and...
Now I wanna bang my head against a wall... and hope my brain flattens...
That'd be nice about now, but instead I keep hearing,
...It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better (wo)men than me
(Now how can that be?)
Just keep me where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!...
I pause it as the song ends and get up, walking to the attached bathroom and giving myself a long hard look in the mirror. I have two choices.
1.) Jump out the window and hit the ground running. (Or more realistically, jump out the window and break both legs; die.)
2.) Go back downstairs and pretend nothing happened.
The second seemed the better choice, so I put on that miniskirt and tights, and walked downstairs to see Brian now watching Jackass and giggling.
And I thought I was strange... At least he makes it endearing.
"Hiya giggly." He tore his eyes away from the television and looked at me before doing the guy-nod. I always took that to be the male equivalent of a wave. I waved back and sat on the couch next to him as the commercials came on.
"Sorry about earlier..." I started, looking at the ground instead of into his eyes. I didn't have the capacity to look at him from this close. I'd most likely do something stupid.
"Why? You didn't do anything," he said. I shrugged with my eyes fixed on a knot in the pine floors.
"If anything, I should be the sorry one... But I'm not." At this, I had to look at him. Did he possibly mean what I thought and hoped so dearly he did? Wh-
"I mean, that wasn't real, right?" My heart broke. Nope. He didn't. I looked at the floor again and stayed silent.
"Oh..okay.. maybe it was something. I just don't want to rush into a relationship with you. You and Matt were serious for a long ti-"
"I don't love him anymore," I interrupted. Liar! You know, if you stare at a floor long enough, it's almost interesti-
"Cady, would you look at me?" I didn't oblige. I might cry if I were to look at him and into his sympathetic chocolate brown eyes...
"Cady?" I felt his hand go under my chin and gently turn my head towards his. It was like my last day with Matt all over again. Except this was over before it started. And twice as painful, too.
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees...
Yeah, this time around, I actually like that song.
Amazing?
Probably.
After I made too much out of that heavy moment with Brian, I excused myself and pouted in the room he was nice enough to let me stay in for most of the afternoon.
Needless to say, I confused the fuck out of Brian.
Yay? I mean, it really isn't that hard to do. Just watch him try and do math. :)
While I was in there, I did a lot of thinking... and came up with little to show for it. My main thought?
Brian had soft lips. I would give anything to feel them again.
Sad? Pathetic? Deplorable? Piteous? Lamentable? Pitiful? Rueful? Squalid? Destitute? Give me a thesaurus. I'll find a hundred more words to describe it.
In other news, I think my love for Matt Sanders has been eclipsed by how much I'm infatuated with Brian Elwin Haner Jr. It's four hours later, and I'm listening to Gravity over and over and over again.
I wish I would get tired of it already... because it makes me think of Brian... and...
Now I wanna bang my head against a wall... and hope my brain flattens...
That'd be nice about now, but instead I keep hearing,
...It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better (wo)men than me
(Now how can that be?)
Just keep me where the light is
Ohh.. where the light is!...
I pause it as the song ends and get up, walking to the attached bathroom and giving myself a long hard look in the mirror. I have two choices.
1.) Jump out the window and hit the ground running. (Or more realistically, jump out the window and break both legs; die.)
2.) Go back downstairs and pretend nothing happened.
The second seemed the better choice, so I put on that miniskirt and tights, and walked downstairs to see Brian now watching Jackass and giggling.
And I thought I was strange... At least he makes it endearing.
"Hiya giggly." He tore his eyes away from the television and looked at me before doing the guy-nod. I always took that to be the male equivalent of a wave. I waved back and sat on the couch next to him as the commercials came on.
"Sorry about earlier..." I started, looking at the ground instead of into his eyes. I didn't have the capacity to look at him from this close. I'd most likely do something stupid.
"Why? You didn't do anything," he said. I shrugged with my eyes fixed on a knot in the pine floors.
"If anything, I should be the sorry one... But I'm not." At this, I had to look at him. Did he possibly mean what I thought and hoped so dearly he did? Wh-
"I mean, that wasn't real, right?" My heart broke. Nope. He didn't. I looked at the floor again and stayed silent.
"Oh..okay.. maybe it was something. I just don't want to rush into a relationship with you. You and Matt were serious for a long ti-"
"I don't love him anymore," I interrupted. Liar! You know, if you stare at a floor long enough, it's almost interesti-
"Cady, would you look at me?" I didn't oblige. I might cry if I were to look at him and into his sympathetic chocolate brown eyes...
"Cady?" I felt his hand go under my chin and gently turn my head towards his. It was like my last day with Matt all over again. Except this was over before it started. And twice as painful, too.