Sequel: Hallelujah ›
Lost Cause
I Will Possess Your Heart
I felt the airplane touch down rather hard onto the runway, jolting me out of my heavy music-induced coma.
I was back in California already.
Instantly the panic I'd been feeling welled in my chest.
I shook my head hard and took a deep breath as a fast-paced (and probably damaging to my already fucked hearing) song ended and a slower, deeper song started. It relaxed me as I pulled my bag out of the overhead carriage and walked slowly out of my seat (my legs were cramped, you can't expect too much better after SIX HOURS) and down the aisle. I watched a stewardess's mouth say
"Thank you for choosing [insert the name of any major airline here] for your flight." Of course, I didn't hear it. Finally, the lyrics in the current song I was listening to began. I refrained singing them and just bobbed my head mentally.
How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me.
It's like a book elegantly bound,
But in a language that you can't read. Just yet.
You gotta spend some time, Love,
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find, Love,
I will possess your heart
You gotta spend some time, Love,
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find, Love,
I will possess your heart..
These held no relevance to me, but I didn't care; I was too damn tired to care.
I walked through the gate entrance and looked around me. Lots of tourists, businessmen, and plastic women here, so yes, I was back in California. I threw my blackish-brown hair haughtily over my shoulder and started towards the baggage claim thinking that I carried too much emotional baggage to be carrying very much of the non-metaphorical kind. I felt a hand on my shoulder and squeaked in surprise. Of course, I didn't hear that either. I pulled my earphones out in a sharp (and quite painful) tug, turning around to face my attacker/mugger/potential murderer. I sighed in relief.
"You need to not do that ever again, Brian." He smiled in a slightly hurt way.
"I missed you too, my Cadybear..." My scowl broke and I jump-hugged Brian, wrapping my legs around his waist and almost causing him to topple over. He laughed in consternation.
"That's more like it," he said, smiling and kissing my forehead in a platonic way. I pecked him on the lips in a teasing way (I'd been doing that for years. Don't you get any ideas, you horny bitches, you.) and released my legs, standing up again.
"To baggage claim, Dumbass?" He nodded and followed my skipping steps. I was incredibly happy now, just to know an incredulous Matt hadn't decided to surprise me and make me wish I'd stayed on my own side of the country. I looked for my red baggage with the rest of the travelers still staring at the moving belt as though their lives depended on it. After a long moment of peering fixedly at the opening of the claim, I moved forward to collect my larger-than-average suitcase, but was beaten to it by Brian, who picked it up and grunted, saying in my general direction,
"What the fuck is in here, cinder blocks?" to which I giggled at and shook my head. Hey, a pair of shoes for every occasion is important. I grabbed my bag and let it fall to the ground at my feet, pulling open the latch to let the wheels on the bottom side and rolling it. You didn't expect me to carry that, did you?
"So..." Brian started.
"Yes?" I prompted.
"You look completely different." He stated. I nodded and smiled like an idiot. He noticed. Score one for self-obsessed oddball (AKA: me).
"Thanks?" I added questioningly. "Ya know, if you don't like the way I look anymore, maybe I should just get back on that damn plane and wait for it to take me home." I pouted convincingly.
"I mean--you look great, just-- uhm--different." It's so much fun to get him flustered. And so easy. He started walking again, and then stopped suddenly. "I'm pretty sure you'd be sitting in that plane for a few hours anyway. So you'd just be making an ass out of yourself."
I flipped him off and squinted up at the sign, pointing further down the terminal toward baggage claim. "Anyways, I'm going to call a hotel-"
"No you're not."
"Am too, why the hell not?" I asked staring at him with an eyebrow cocked.
"Cause you're staying with me." My eyes widened. "I asked you to come back, so it's my responsibility." Oh, well that actually makes sense...
We walked side-by-side out of the airport automatic doors and into the parking lot, presumably to his Escalade.
**
"So anyways, you blab to everyone that I decided to come back?"
"Nope, I thought you could tell them. Everyone is over Zacky's house at the moment. They think I went out to get more liquor." I laughed and fake pouted.
"So, am I good beer or the cheap kind that tastes like sawdust?" I asked.
"What do you think?" I laughed in a shocked way and whacked him in the arm. Asshole...
We were mostly silent for the rest of the car ride, arriving at Zacky's house about 25 minutes later. I felt the panic rise in my chest again.
"Is Matt here too?" He nodded. I bit my lip. Fuuuuuuck!
I said nothing and got out of the car after he parked it, my heart racing faster than it had in a long time.
"Relax already, Cadybear." I shook my head and he enveloped me in a tight hug, his lips pressed gently against my cheek.
"Please?" I shrugged against his neck, which is Cady-language for 'If I have to...'
He let go and walked toward the front door, me following apprehensively.
He opened it and flounced in, calling to everyone as I stood in the threshold.
"I'm back, motherfuckers!" He walked into the living room, where I assumed they all were, me leaning against the wall on the other side as to not be noticed.
"And I brought a friend with me..." I stepped out, waving shyly. A shocked four-second silence.. then... I was tackled by a flying Lyndsey. She was Zacky's girlfriend and my best friend on this side of the country.
"Cadyyyyyyy!!! You're back-ohmygod-why-didn't-you-tell-us-you-were-coming-back-i-missed-you-Cady!" she yelled in my ear at record speed before getting off and helping me up.
"Hi?" Everyone was smiling, even Matt, though he was the only one not standing to greet me. I watched Jimmy get up and punch Brian hard in the arm.
"Why didn't you tell me she was coming? I would've worn my Cady t-shirt." (Long story for a rainy day...) I laughed and sat on the couch next to Zacky, who promptly one-arm hugged me. I heard a chorus of "Group Huuuuuug" and felt a lot more arms wrap tightly around me.
"Ah! Too much love, TOO MUCH LOVE!!" A whole lot of happy chatter followed most of the night. Boisterous people getting drunk, therefore more boisterous.
Me? I was just staring at Matt and Val and pretending to smile at everyone's words and the antics I'd apparently missed...
I was back in California already.
Instantly the panic I'd been feeling welled in my chest.
I shook my head hard and took a deep breath as a fast-paced (and probably damaging to my already fucked hearing) song ended and a slower, deeper song started. It relaxed me as I pulled my bag out of the overhead carriage and walked slowly out of my seat (my legs were cramped, you can't expect too much better after SIX HOURS) and down the aisle. I watched a stewardess's mouth say
"Thank you for choosing [insert the name of any major airline here] for your flight." Of course, I didn't hear it. Finally, the lyrics in the current song I was listening to began. I refrained singing them and just bobbed my head mentally.
How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me.
It's like a book elegantly bound,
But in a language that you can't read. Just yet.
You gotta spend some time, Love,
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find, Love,
I will possess your heart
You gotta spend some time, Love,
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find, Love,
I will possess your heart..
These held no relevance to me, but I didn't care; I was too damn tired to care.
I walked through the gate entrance and looked around me. Lots of tourists, businessmen, and plastic women here, so yes, I was back in California. I threw my blackish-brown hair haughtily over my shoulder and started towards the baggage claim thinking that I carried too much emotional baggage to be carrying very much of the non-metaphorical kind. I felt a hand on my shoulder and squeaked in surprise. Of course, I didn't hear that either. I pulled my earphones out in a sharp (and quite painful) tug, turning around to face my attacker/mugger/potential murderer. I sighed in relief.
"You need to not do that ever again, Brian." He smiled in a slightly hurt way.
"I missed you too, my Cadybear..." My scowl broke and I jump-hugged Brian, wrapping my legs around his waist and almost causing him to topple over. He laughed in consternation.
"That's more like it," he said, smiling and kissing my forehead in a platonic way. I pecked him on the lips in a teasing way (I'd been doing that for years. Don't you get any ideas, you horny bitches, you.) and released my legs, standing up again.
"To baggage claim, Dumbass?" He nodded and followed my skipping steps. I was incredibly happy now, just to know an incredulous Matt hadn't decided to surprise me and make me wish I'd stayed on my own side of the country. I looked for my red baggage with the rest of the travelers still staring at the moving belt as though their lives depended on it. After a long moment of peering fixedly at the opening of the claim, I moved forward to collect my larger-than-average suitcase, but was beaten to it by Brian, who picked it up and grunted, saying in my general direction,
"What the fuck is in here, cinder blocks?" to which I giggled at and shook my head. Hey, a pair of shoes for every occasion is important. I grabbed my bag and let it fall to the ground at my feet, pulling open the latch to let the wheels on the bottom side and rolling it. You didn't expect me to carry that, did you?
"So..." Brian started.
"Yes?" I prompted.
"You look completely different." He stated. I nodded and smiled like an idiot. He noticed. Score one for self-obsessed oddball (AKA: me).
"Thanks?" I added questioningly. "Ya know, if you don't like the way I look anymore, maybe I should just get back on that damn plane and wait for it to take me home." I pouted convincingly.
"I mean--you look great, just-- uhm--different." It's so much fun to get him flustered. And so easy. He started walking again, and then stopped suddenly. "I'm pretty sure you'd be sitting in that plane for a few hours anyway. So you'd just be making an ass out of yourself."
I flipped him off and squinted up at the sign, pointing further down the terminal toward baggage claim. "Anyways, I'm going to call a hotel-"
"No you're not."
"Am too, why the hell not?" I asked staring at him with an eyebrow cocked.
"Cause you're staying with me." My eyes widened. "I asked you to come back, so it's my responsibility." Oh, well that actually makes sense...
We walked side-by-side out of the airport automatic doors and into the parking lot, presumably to his Escalade.
**
"So anyways, you blab to everyone that I decided to come back?"
"Nope, I thought you could tell them. Everyone is over Zacky's house at the moment. They think I went out to get more liquor." I laughed and fake pouted.
"So, am I good beer or the cheap kind that tastes like sawdust?" I asked.
"What do you think?" I laughed in a shocked way and whacked him in the arm. Asshole...
We were mostly silent for the rest of the car ride, arriving at Zacky's house about 25 minutes later. I felt the panic rise in my chest again.
"Is Matt here too?" He nodded. I bit my lip. Fuuuuuuck!
I said nothing and got out of the car after he parked it, my heart racing faster than it had in a long time.
"Relax already, Cadybear." I shook my head and he enveloped me in a tight hug, his lips pressed gently against my cheek.
"Please?" I shrugged against his neck, which is Cady-language for 'If I have to...'
He let go and walked toward the front door, me following apprehensively.
He opened it and flounced in, calling to everyone as I stood in the threshold.
"I'm back, motherfuckers!" He walked into the living room, where I assumed they all were, me leaning against the wall on the other side as to not be noticed.
"And I brought a friend with me..." I stepped out, waving shyly. A shocked four-second silence.. then... I was tackled by a flying Lyndsey. She was Zacky's girlfriend and my best friend on this side of the country.
"Cadyyyyyyy!!! You're back-ohmygod-why-didn't-you-tell-us-you-were-coming-back-i-missed-you-Cady!" she yelled in my ear at record speed before getting off and helping me up.
"Hi?" Everyone was smiling, even Matt, though he was the only one not standing to greet me. I watched Jimmy get up and punch Brian hard in the arm.
"Why didn't you tell me she was coming? I would've worn my Cady t-shirt." (Long story for a rainy day...) I laughed and sat on the couch next to Zacky, who promptly one-arm hugged me. I heard a chorus of "Group Huuuuuug" and felt a lot more arms wrap tightly around me.
"Ah! Too much love, TOO MUCH LOVE!!" A whole lot of happy chatter followed most of the night. Boisterous people getting drunk, therefore more boisterous.
Me? I was just staring at Matt and Val and pretending to smile at everyone's words and the antics I'd apparently missed...