Falling

I had a meeting with Mack on Monday to discuss the divorce, he needed some information from me. I made it clear I wanted nothing from Chris, just to be free of him. We talked for about a half hour. The wheels were in motion and for once in my life I was ready for what was to come. Mack told me it would be a matter of days before the papers were ready. Chris would hopefully be served with them by the end of the week.
I felt uncertain. So unsure. This was the first time in my life being alone. I didn't know just what to feel. I went to Madison's that evening to have dinner with her. Matt was working late.
“I'm leaving Chris.” I blurted out when she asked how my day had been. She gave me a long look but wasn't surprised.
“Does he know?”
“Yes.”
“I'm sorry Dill.”
“Don't be. We were doomed from the start.”
“Even so, you were together for years.”
Yeah.” Officially it had been nearly three. Unofficially five.
“Why did you marry him?” It was a question she had never asked me before. Maddie knew I was extremely private so she didn't normally pry.
“I bought into the fairytale I guess.” I told her honestly. “Don't all little girls?”
“But you were never the typical little girl.”
“I wanted to be happy Mad, I wanted what everyone else gets so easily. I was wrong. I wasted my time. He's the only person I've ever been with. I don't know anything else.”
“Oh god, wait until you're dating.” she said with a laugh, trying to lighten thing up. The thought brought Aiden to mind. No, no thinking of him.
“It's too early to be thinking of that.”
“Yeah you're right.” She took a sip of her wine. “Where are you staying?”
“A hotel but I've already start apartment hunting.”
“You'll let me know if you need help right?”
“Yeah of course.”
“I mean it, Dill.”
“And I meant it too.” We changed the subject soon after that as we finished our meal.

I was getting used to the hotel. I had been staying here for four days now. The quiet I could get used to. My phone rang on Tuesday evening, I had just eaten my takeout from Applebee's. I huffed out a huge breath when I saw the caller id. “YOU'RE GETTING A DIVORCE!” My mother screamed into the phone once I answered it.
“Lower your voice mom I've already got a headache.” I said calmly.
“Tell me, it isn't true?”
“You know it is. I take it Chris already told you.” I laughed. “He's always been a mama's boy, no matter who's mama it is.”
“Dylan Angela Harrison... I mean Foster, Foster.” she corrected. “This isn't a game. You apologize to that man. Do you think anyone else would want you? Want to put up with your mess of a life?”
“No. But that's alright mom. Do you know why?” I didn't wait for an answer. “Because I don't need a man to make me complete. And if you can't understand that too bad.”
“Dylan. I am so disappointed with you.”
“What's new?” My voice losing all emotion. “Enjoy Antigua. Bye mom.” I hung up.

There were things I never had to worry about but now that I was going to be on my own I had a lot more responsibility. I checked the newspaper for apartment ads, trying to find some place somewhere affordable. I called up several places, somewhere downtown, close to work which was good and came within my price range. I had to figure out which questions to ask, like was the stove electric or gas, if it came with a washer/dryer hookup or if there was parking and if so did it cost. It made my head spin and made me feel so stupid for not knowing the basic things to ask. I had to think of shopping for furniture once I found a place. Manage my budge so I'd have enough money for my bills every month and the essentials like food, other expenses while still trying to keep some in the bank as well.
There was little in the house that truly belonged to me, a small piano that was my grandmothers, one of the armchairs in the living room, some dishes, some small appliances and that was pretty much it. I wasn't going to ask him for a thing else, he could keep all the rest. I knew Chris was going to try to pull something, it was in his nature. So I was mentally preparing for the worse possibilities.

I saw the painting in the back of my car. I was just getting off from work on Wednesday. It was beautiful and it was of me, two things that generally don't go together in my opinion. I was seated at the piano, my head tilted back slightly, my eyes close, expression euphoric. Was that how I had looked or was he exaggerating my appearing? Either way it was lovely. I looked around the parking lot but there was no one insight. There was a note attached to it:



I read the note again and again. My heart aching. I smile, and tucked the note in my pocket, just so a piece of him was close by. Maybe I hadn't lost him after all. “So have you stopped acting like a child yet.” Chris stood behind me. Where had he come from?
I laughed. “You're a first class idiot Chris, really. Go away.”
“You better think about this. Seriously think it through wife of mine.” He walked a little closer. “This won't end well.”
“I've made up my mind.”
“You're depressed. You aren't thinking straight. Come home.”
“You don't get it do you? I don't want to be with you. And if I'm being honest I never really did.”
He frowned. “Delusions and lies.”
“Denial and idiocy.” I countered.
He stepped closer and peered into my backseat. “Is that you?”
“And if it is?”
“You had someone paint you?” He scoffed as if he couldn't imagine the idea.
“What's it to you?”
He shook his head. “Dylan, stop this foolishness. You are ill you don't know what you're doing.”
“Give it a rest Chris. I'm divorcing you. Time to face the music.”
“You know what's going to happen if you do this?” He grinned wickedly and whispered. “I'm going to drag you through the mud.”
“Oh really? Whose got more skeletons?”
“It's not the amount but the size of said skeletons.” He laughed. “You're crazy. Who do you think they are going to listen to?”
I got directly in his face and said with conviction, “Me.” He gave me a long hard look before he walked back to his car that was parked across the street. I watched him drive away, with the sense that an uphill battle my life was about to become at the hands of that man.