Falling

I knocked with shaky wet knuckles upon the door. It took several minutes before he answered, his hair disheveled, green eyes full of sleepy surprise. “Dylan? What are you doing here?” Aiden asked slowly. “Are you okay?” He took a good look at my face. “And why are you all wet?”
“That's what she said.” I muttered, the weak joke falling flat, then cleared my throat and tried to stifle a shiver. “I don't really know.” I said a little louder.
He glared at me for a moment then shook his head briefly. “Come on in, you're going to freeze.” I stepped inside the studio apartment.
I took of my shoes, full of water as he shut the door. He had on only a pair of green pajama bottoms, He flipped a switch, alighting the dark apartment. “Dylan, you need to get out of those clothes. Come on.”
I followed him to the bathroom, wordlessly taking off bits of clothing along the way. I let him finish undressing me. He threw my soaked clothing onto the bathroom floor as he filled up the bathtub. He shook his head at me, a small confused smile playing on his lips. “Am I dreaming?” he asked.
I tried to smile but my lips wouldn't move. “Nope. Afraid not.” He tried to avoid looking at my more intimate parts as he handed me his plaid robe. “I'm going to put these in the dryer downstairs.” He scooped my things up off the linoleum floor. “I'll be right back.” He closed the bathroom door behind him.
I slipped into the warm soapy water once the tub was filled and sighed. I brought my knees to my chin, tears forming in my already red swollen eyes. No more crying, I told myself, not again. Aiden returned with some of his own clothes for me to wear. “Why were you out in the rain, and at this time of morning?”
“I like the rain.” I said quietly, staring at the rubber ducky he had seated on the edge of the tub. I reached for it. “You have a duck?”
“Like it?”
I gave it a squeeze, it made a squeaking noise. “I do.”
He knelt down by the side of the tub, his hand brushing my wet hair back from my face. “What happened?”
“I was on a rooftop.” I turned my face to his, concern in his eyes. “I was going to jump. But I thought of my dad, how he be royally pissed if I threw my life away before it had really ever began.”
“Dylan.” he exclaimed, “You were going to leave me behind?” He shook his head, more at himself than at me, “That sounds selfish, sorry I said that.”
I sighed. “No it's okay. I was being selfish myself. I realized something while I was up there. Being scared is okay. Fear is just a dark room where negatives develop.”
He cocked his head to one side. “You're quoting Usman B. Asif?”
I scrunched up my nose. “Is that who said that?” I laughed. Who knew? “I'm betting your wondering why I...”
“Are you actually going to tell me this time?” He had begun scooping water handfuls of water into his hand, pouring them down my bare back, followed my his hand caressing my skin. If I wasn't in such a state I might find the gesture sexual.
“I'm not sure why I came here. Why you put up with my shit of a life. Why you want to be my friend. But I'm glad you do.” He gave me a tight lipped smile and stared rubbing my back gently. I shut my eyes and let his smooth hands glide over my now warmer skin. “I'm sorry.” I whispered.
“For what?”
“For the last time we spoke. I overreacted.”
“As did I. I'm sorry too.”
“So can we be friends?”
I tuned my head to him, my eyes opened again, waiting. He leaned closer til his face was inches from mine. “You know I'd like to be more, if that's okay by you. But we needn't discuss that now. There are more important things to worry about. ” As he wiped away my tears with the back of his free hand, he pressed his soft lips against mine. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes. The kiss, only our second, was gentle, soft and warmed me to my soul. He pulled back and smiled. “No matter what I'm here. Remember that.” I only nodded and pulled his face to me again. There was no way I was letting him go.

I slipped into one of his oversized t-shirts, it had paint splatter covering it, and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. I wrapped my damp hair in a towel and sat with Aiden on his bed. His room was small and had only a bed, a wardrobe, a nightstand and a trunk at the end of his bed.
I curled my leg beneath me and shivered. “Get under the covers.” Aiden told me. “You need to get warmer.” He had brought in more blankets. I got underneath the covers of Aiden's bed and sat up, my back against his headboard. He wrapped another blanket around my shoulders then one around himself. He was seated where he could face me. I looked up at his face, anticipation written there. I took a deep breath and released it.
“My father died when I was thirteen. He was driving in a storm when his car went of the road.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“Wanna know why he was out in that storm?” I gave a shaky humourless laugh. “It was because of me.” I swallowed hard and blinked away those pesky tears. “I had ran out of the house after I had an argument with my mom. I don't even remember what it was about but I got on my bike and ran. My father went looking for me when after an hour had passed and I hadn't returned. I had a tendency to run away when I got angry but I'd usually returned after a while. My dad was worried, my mom wasn't so much. Well according to Maddie she wasn't.”
“Where had you gone?” Aiden asked softly.
“I had a secret hide out. It was in near the park, I never told anyone about it, not even Maddie. It was my refuge. I went there, it was in the woods by the park about a five minutes walk in. I had to climb beneath the fence that cut off the woods from the park. Then I walked to the spot. It was a cluster of trees and if you looked up you'd see a tree house. I'm not sure who built it I just found it one day. So I climbed in and when the storm hit I decided to wait it out and then go home.” I took pause, Aiden waited quietly. “Since I had no friends, he didn't know where to look. The police said the roads were slick, that he went around a curve to sharply and lost control. He was taken to the hospital but died before any of us could get to him.” I hadn't noticed my hand in Aiden's until he caressed it.
“And you've carried the guilt of that day with you for all these years.”
“My mother told me it was my fault, that he wouldn't have been out in that storm if I hadn't acted like a brat and ran out.”
“But it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have know he was looking for you. You couldn't have know he would get in that accident.”
“But she's right he wouldn't have been out if it hadn't been for me.”
“Yeah but he would have died another way, anther place, another time. But it was his time. I know you don't want to hear that but it's true. Call it fate or destiny or something other. Do you think he would want you to feel this way?”
I sighed. “No.”
He moved so that he was seated next to me and pulled me to him by my shoulder. “So let it go. He doesn't blame you. He loved you. I bet he would do anything to ease your pain now.”
“It felt like a piece of myself died with him. I was never the same. I loved him so much.” My voice broke into a million pieces.
“I know you do, sweetheart.” He took me completely into his arms, holding me tight as I cried against his chest. I felt so vulnerable. “It'll be okay.” As he said those word I knew that deep down in my core somehow, someway he was right.