Falling

By that Saturday I still hadn't told Madison about my slip up. So I just sucked it up and went over to see her. I had went back to work all week long, and did things the normal way, just hoping my depression wasn't too obvious.
Matt was out, golfing with Chris, ugh, so we had the house to ourselves. My sister knew me well enough to know by the look on my face something had happened.
“Tell me. Was it Chris?”
“No.” I chocked out. I told myself not to cry, but damn it, those tears had minds of their own. “Last week I... I,”
She led me to the couch and we both sat down. “It's okay Dill, whatever it is it's okay.”
“I tried to do it again.” I whispered. It took her a minute to understand. Her eyes widened and then she wrapped her arms tightly around my body.
“Why Dill? Why?” I told her about how dads death had effected me. “You know that wasn't your fault. He would have went through hell and high water to do anything for us, and you know it. He loved you Dill, he would never have wanted you to feel this way.” she took a deep breath, tears now in her eyes too. “Why didn't you tell me all of this before?”
“I was scared, and I thought I could handle this. I was wrong. I realized that now.”
“Don't you ever try to leave me again. I love you. I can't imagine life without you baby sis.” her voice was watery and sad. I hugged her as tight as my arms would allow and she did the same with me.
“I'm sorry.” I whispered. “I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused.”
“You don't have to apologize, just make sure you stick around. I'll kill you if you die.” Now that made me laugh. After we stopped crying and pulled ourselves together, I eventually got around to telling her about Aiden, since I was coming clean about things.
“And when were you going to tell me about him?” she asked.
“When I figure out if we were just going to be friends or something else.”
“And?”
“And I still don't know.”
“Typical Dylan.” she laughed. “Let big sis meet him and make sure he's good enough for you.”
I frowned. “Don't mean that the other way round?”
“No.” she said sincerely.
We had take out for dinner and watched old shows on TVLand. I was resting my head on Maddie's shoulder when we heard the door open. I didn't think much of it, just Matt coming in, but then I heard his voice. Madison sat straight up and gave me a wide eyes look before turning her head around in the direction of the door. Matt and Chris both came to a halt when they saw me. I swallowed hard, not knowing what to do, so just I sat there, and no one spoke a word. Matt cleared his throat and glanced at Chris.
“Hi honey.” Maddie said to her husband. “how was the game?”
“Good.” Matt walked to her after she stood up, and they looked like they were going to hug or kiss but thought better of it.
“I'm going to go.” I mutter, not able to meet anyone's eye. I stood up and knew I had to walk pass him to leave.
“No I'll go.” Chris said in a low voice.
“Or we both should go, it is late.” I said, looking down at my feet now. “Bye Maddie, I'll call you tomorrow.”
“Alright.” she said with a tight smile. “Let me walk you to your car.” she said, almost protectively. She put her arm around my shoulder and began leading me out of the house, swiftly brushing pass my soon to be ex husband.
“Bye Matt.” I called over my shoulder as we reached the door.
“Bye Dylan.” I heard him reply. Chris was still standing there, frozen by the look of it. Neither of us really looked at the other.
We reached the car and Maddie gave me a big hug, and whispered, “I love you. Don't forget that. Don't worry about him, I set him straight.” I pulled back and she gave me a big grin once I saw her face. “We had a talk.” she said. “No one hurts my sister.”
“Thank you. And I love you too.” With that I got in the car and drove home, and I didn't even give Chris a second thought.

Aiden was busy all that following week, but called me a lot, especially at night, when he wasn't paining or drawing, or doing something or another related to the show. The days following my attempt were hard, but he had stayed with me a lot and talked with me so I could at least get my thoughts out into the open air. It felt both strange and liberating to have someone who actually listened, it made a world of difference.
“Are you nervous?” I asked him on the phone that Tuesday night as I wrapped my covers around me.
“A little.”
“It's going to be amazing, mark my words.”
“Don't oversell it. It might suck.”
I scoffed. “Nonsense, I've seen your stuff, and boy, face it, you're talented.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I could imagine him waving a hand dismissively. “Did you tell your sister about the show?”
“Yeah, she said she'll be there, besides she wants to meet you.”
“I bet.” he laughed a little, “So how was today?”
“Better.”
“Good, did you write anything down.” Dr. Johannson though it a good idea if I kept a journal to write down my feelings and whatnot.
“A little.”
“Did it help?”
“A bit, but talking with you is better.” I had been telling him about my fears dying alone, unloved, of being forgotten, of being unremarkable, forgettable. He told me it was nonsense, that I was amazing, that I was loved but of course I didn't believe him. Somethings take more time. But I was getting there.
“I agree.” I could practically picture him smiling as he said it.
I still wasn't sure what we were, we have slept in the same bed more than once, and we've kissed, but I wasn't in any rush to define us, it was good as it was right now.
“So what does one wear to one of these shindigs?” I asked after a pause. I truly hadn't a clue as to what I should wear. Plus I wanted to change the subject.
“Something a little dressy would suffice.”
“Okay, but it isn't black tie, right?”
“Heavens no, then they wouldn't even let me in.” we both laughed. “Just put on some heels and a dress and you'll be set, just not too casual.”
“Gotcha. I can do that.” I think. I have dresses, I just rarely wear them.
This was going to be great, and I couldn't wait to see what he had been working on. He refused to let me see them, saying I had to wait just like the other people who were going to be at the show.
“So have you thought about that I said?” he asked. He thought I should head back to school this fall. He had even taken the liberty of looking up school for me. I told him I was still undecided about it.
“I'm going to see how the legal stuff comes along first, then I'll make up my mind.”
“Don't let it stop you Dylan. You have so much talent.” I smiled a little at that.
We talked a little while longer, it was getting late and we both needed our rest. I laid my head on my pillow and fell asleep almost instantly. And didn't worry or over think my future for the first time in weeks.

“Do I look okay?” I asked Maddie for the hundredth time.
“Yes Dill. You look very pretty.” She said to me again. “Relax.”
Yeah it was easy for her to say. She was always effortlessly beautiful. It took some work for me. It was Saturday evening, the day of Aiden's show. We were already in my car, driving downtown. Madison had on a purple knee length dress with no sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. Her blonde hair was in a mess bun and she makeup was light and flawless.
I had found a dress in my closet that I hadn't even remembered I owned. It was a coral colour, strapless, knee length, with a corset like top and flared out at the waist. I had on white pumps and my red hair was down in loose curls. I adjusted my top as we sat at a red light. “I really should have worn a different top.” I muttered, more to myself than to Maddie.
“Relax. Just put on your blazer and you'll be fine.”
I sighed heavily and drove on once the light turned green.
We got there a few minutes later and the place was more packed than I had expected. There were two other artist showing their work here too. We walked inside and began checking out the painting on the walls and the sculptured that sat in the middle of the floor on display.
I knew very little about art, and some of the stuff I saw I wouldn't even no where to start to describe it. So I just kept my opinions to myself. Maddie surprisingly wasn't bored, she got into a discussion with a gentleman about some art movement I'd never heard about. I excused myself and went over to explore more of the artwork.
But I came up short when I rounded a corner and saw what I clearly knew was painted with Aiden's hands.
I slowly moved forward, my eyes not tearing away from the paintings in front of me. There were small groups of people looking at the canvases. I was in such a trance that I didn't notice Madison was by my side until she spoke.
“Is that you?” she asked me.
It took me a minute before I nodded my head and said, “Yeah I think so.”
“They're beautiful.”
“Uh-huh.” was all I could say. We stepped closer and looked at the paintings.
“You have wings. They suit you.” Maddie said with a smile in her voice.
Aiden's words rang in my head. He wasn't joking when he said he thought I had wings, he gave them to me.
There were a wall of paintings. In several of them I had wings. I was a butterfly like creature, in several, emerging from a cocoon in another. In others I was an angel, my wings the colour of rainbows, spread out, ready for flight. Then there were other of just my face, of me sleeping, one of me half naked, of my bare back, my lips, even one of me crying. All of them were of me.
“You're his muse.” Madsion whispered but I couldn't speak.
I felt like smiling and crying all at once. It was all so beautiful and unexpected.
I turned to Maddie but her eyes were looking to her right. I followed her gaze, all the way to Aiden.
He was wearing dark slacks and a cream coloured button down, with a plum tie. His glasses were on, and I noticed he had cut his curls lower, and he had shaved. His lips were curled into a half smile as he talked to an older man and woman, his hand gesturing behind him to one of the paintings.
As f he knew I was watching him, his eyes met mine. His smile widened and he excused himself from the conversation he had been having a minute later.
As he walked towards me I noticed the man and woman both looked at me, then to the wall of canvases, back to me, then whispered something to each other. I suddenly felt self conscious.
“I'm glad you made it.” Aiden said as he got closer and gave me a hug and a tender kiss on my cheek. I blushed and he turned towards Maddie. “You must be Madison.” he extended a hand to her.
“Yes. And you must be Aiden.” she took his hand and they shook. “I've heard a lot about you.”
“Likewise.”
“So you must really like my sister.” Madsion said with a grin.
“What would make you say that?” he joked.
I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I had been holding. They like each other. Great. As they talked I started to look at the other people who were taking in Aiden's work. It was hard to tell if most of these people like it or not, their face gave away little emotion, but they were lingering and checking out everything so I guess that was a good sign.
I turned back to Aiden and Madison and we talked a little before Madison went to get a better look at the painting of me as an angel. It was the largest one.
“So what do you think?” Aiden asked once it was just him and I.
“I'm speechless.” I said. And it was true words couldn't describe it, but I tried anyway. “Their beautiful.”
“Well of course they are.” he brushed the hair away form my face. “My muse is beautiful.”
“If you say so.” I whispered and looked down.
He lifted my face up to him. “I know so.” he smiled a sweet smile and asked. “Any favourites?”
I looked at them all again and nodded. “The sleeping one.” I said. He must have painted it from memory because it looked exactly like me. Every freckle, every line, every eyelash, even my messy morning hair. It was the simplest one, yet my eyes focused on it more than the others.
“Yeah I like that one too.” he put his arm on my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Still think you're unremarkable? That no one will remembered you?”
I smiled and shook my head. “You'll remember me, and that's all that counts.”