For My Boyfriend's Eyes Only
012.
Justine walked into my room on what I think was the next day with a big smile on her face, she practically skipped over to get the clipboard off the end of my bed and check my stats.
"Morning Frankie." she greeted in an almost sing-song voice that made me feel less groggy.
"Morning, well someone's clearly happy." I commented which made her cheeks flush several shades of pink. "What happened?"
"Well, um you know I had that date with my boyfriend last night?" she said, fiddling with the hem of her dress.
"Oh yeah, how'd it go?" she been telling me about her wonderful, long-term relationship with this guy Lee after Mikey left the day I woke up. I was more than a little interested, it was great to listen to someone else's stories for a change, rather than retell mine over and over.
"Well...it was amazing, y'know? Just perfect, we had a really nice dinner and her took me for a walk along the pier and, oh Frankie you'll never guess what?!"
"I don't think you're gonna let me, are you?" I said jokingly, seeing the excited expression painted on her face.
"He asked me to marry him! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Wow, Justine I-I'm really happy for you, truly." I beamed.
"Look, it's so beautiful." she held out her hand to me and waggled her fingers so the light danced off the edges of the diamond on her finger, casting little sparkling reflections onto the nearby surfaces.
I nodded, "Wow...I hope you're both happy together, you deserve it."
"Aw, thanks Frankie." she said, blushing again. "Y'know, I hope you meet someone just as amazing as...Gerard, although you probably think you won't. But believe me, this change."
I smiled again, "Thanks Justine...it's just..." my mouth twisted downwards, then I stopped myself and looked up into her happy, smiling face. "You're probably right, I just need to give it time."
"Exactly! Now, um...you're doing great, which is terrific...and I think we might be able to let you go home today."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I think our psychologist will make a quick visit first."
"Okay."
Justine smiled and fixed my clipboard back onto my bed, just as she was about to leave she turned back.
"Oh, and Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't worry about that Rowland lady...she won't be bothering you."
Then I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "Thanks Justine."
"I'll be back at twelve." she said, winking once and closing the door softly behind her.
I leaned back onto my pillow and sighed contently, I would be home soon even though home meant very little now that he was gone.
But you still have the diary.
The only thing I have that's close enough to the real person.
Instead of feeling bitter and angry again, I leaned over to the cabinet and picked up the black book that was sat next to the jug of water. I think it's hospital policy that patients must have a jug of water on their cabinet, which is weird because I haven't seen any cups around here.
Pushing my random thoughts to the back of my mind, I flicked past the page that I'd already read, rearranged the covers so they weren't trying to suffocate me and continued from where I last left.
10th November
It's funny how one day I can feel like a piece of shit on the bottom of someone's shoe and then the next I feel like nothing in the world can go wrong for me, like I'm invincible or something. I know it's stupid, but who cares?
Anyway, yesterday me and Frank skipped school. Yes, that's right, we skipped school. Together, to be together.
I didn't actually know where to go because Jersey's so shit this time of year, every where's full of Christmas stuff already and there's so many people around that there's no privacy what-so-ever.
So the only option was one of our houses. In the end, we went back to Frank's. Both his parents were at work until after Frank was due home from school so it was the perfect opportunity.
His house was a lot different to mine, it was overly clean and tidy, there was also the scent of some kind of spice that lingered in the air. Frank lead me through the house, just showing me where everything was, so I felt comfortable possibly. But I wasn't comfortable, my stomach felt funny and my legs were shaking slightly.
"Yeah, my mom's slightly obsessive when it comes to cleaning." Frank laughing, noticing the way I saw that practically every surface gleamed.
"Oh, it's okay..."
"Come on, my room's more normal." he took me by the hand and lead me upstairs into his room, this action doing nothing for my already jangled nerves.
He was right about his room being more normal, normal as in not OCD clean. One wall was completely covered in posters and things cut out from magazines, while the other two were painted jet black. The wall that his bed was against had a large Medusa head painted onto it, it was painted white with black detailing and there was a thin red outline that showed the snakes for hair. On the forehead were the letters SC, separated by two bones.
"What do you think?" he asked almost shyly.
"It's amazing. Did you draw this yourself?"
"Yeah, the SC stands for Skeleton Crew. I made that up too."
"Cool..."
Frank jumped onto his bed the patted the space next to him, signaling for me to join him. I sat down as normally as I could with a sickening feeling in my stomach that wasn't to do with feeling ill, just the fact that the most gorgeous boy in the world was sat next to me and I was in the house alone with him.
"Gee? Can ask you something?"
I gulped, "Yeah...anything."
"Y'know the other day, when we were sat talking? You never did answer my question." he said with a cheeky smile pulling at the corners of his mouth that made my insides feel funny.
"O-oh. What was the question?" I asked, I'd gotten a total mind block.
He smirked. "Why do you always look at me like that?"
"Because...because...I..."
I couldn't think straight, he was about an inch away from me, so close that I could feel his body heat, so close that I almost knew what was going to happen in the next minute or so.
"Because you like me?" he offered.
"Y-Yeah...something like that..."
He smirked again making my stomach flip and my heart pound in my chest so loud that I think he could hear it.
"Good...cause I like you too."
I knew it would happen and it was even better than I imagined. Frank pressed his lips gently to mine and carefully teased my mouth open with the tip of his tongue, sliding it into my mouth. My hand found his waist and I pulled him closer to me as he linked his hands around my neck, our lips moved gently and softly against each other as did our tongues, dancing almost, a beautiful thing that I'd wanted to happen for so long.
Frank twisted his fingers into my hair and wrapped an ankle around mine and began to slowly rub up and down my leg. I resisted the urge to moan softly, instead I let my hand wander cautiously down to the top of his thigh.
I never imagine that after everything that happened before, things could turn out to feel just like the first time. Maybe it was because I truly did love Frank or maybe it was because something good hadn't happened to me in a while that this felt right. Like this was how it was supposed to be forever.
It sounded strange to say that so quickly, but the feeling I got from being with Frank was nothing I'd felt before.
And I didn't want it to ever stop.
G
xoxo
"Morning Frankie." she greeted in an almost sing-song voice that made me feel less groggy.
"Morning, well someone's clearly happy." I commented which made her cheeks flush several shades of pink. "What happened?"
"Well, um you know I had that date with my boyfriend last night?" she said, fiddling with the hem of her dress.
"Oh yeah, how'd it go?" she been telling me about her wonderful, long-term relationship with this guy Lee after Mikey left the day I woke up. I was more than a little interested, it was great to listen to someone else's stories for a change, rather than retell mine over and over.
"Well...it was amazing, y'know? Just perfect, we had a really nice dinner and her took me for a walk along the pier and, oh Frankie you'll never guess what?!"
"I don't think you're gonna let me, are you?" I said jokingly, seeing the excited expression painted on her face.
"He asked me to marry him! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Wow, Justine I-I'm really happy for you, truly." I beamed.
"Look, it's so beautiful." she held out her hand to me and waggled her fingers so the light danced off the edges of the diamond on her finger, casting little sparkling reflections onto the nearby surfaces.
I nodded, "Wow...I hope you're both happy together, you deserve it."
"Aw, thanks Frankie." she said, blushing again. "Y'know, I hope you meet someone just as amazing as...Gerard, although you probably think you won't. But believe me, this change."
I smiled again, "Thanks Justine...it's just..." my mouth twisted downwards, then I stopped myself and looked up into her happy, smiling face. "You're probably right, I just need to give it time."
"Exactly! Now, um...you're doing great, which is terrific...and I think we might be able to let you go home today."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I think our psychologist will make a quick visit first."
"Okay."
Justine smiled and fixed my clipboard back onto my bed, just as she was about to leave she turned back.
"Oh, and Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't worry about that Rowland lady...she won't be bothering you."
Then I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "Thanks Justine."
"I'll be back at twelve." she said, winking once and closing the door softly behind her.
I leaned back onto my pillow and sighed contently, I would be home soon even though home meant very little now that he was gone.
But you still have the diary.
The only thing I have that's close enough to the real person.
Instead of feeling bitter and angry again, I leaned over to the cabinet and picked up the black book that was sat next to the jug of water. I think it's hospital policy that patients must have a jug of water on their cabinet, which is weird because I haven't seen any cups around here.
Pushing my random thoughts to the back of my mind, I flicked past the page that I'd already read, rearranged the covers so they weren't trying to suffocate me and continued from where I last left.
10th November
It's funny how one day I can feel like a piece of shit on the bottom of someone's shoe and then the next I feel like nothing in the world can go wrong for me, like I'm invincible or something. I know it's stupid, but who cares?
Anyway, yesterday me and Frank skipped school. Yes, that's right, we skipped school. Together, to be together.
I didn't actually know where to go because Jersey's so shit this time of year, every where's full of Christmas stuff already and there's so many people around that there's no privacy what-so-ever.
So the only option was one of our houses. In the end, we went back to Frank's. Both his parents were at work until after Frank was due home from school so it was the perfect opportunity.
His house was a lot different to mine, it was overly clean and tidy, there was also the scent of some kind of spice that lingered in the air. Frank lead me through the house, just showing me where everything was, so I felt comfortable possibly. But I wasn't comfortable, my stomach felt funny and my legs were shaking slightly.
"Yeah, my mom's slightly obsessive when it comes to cleaning." Frank laughing, noticing the way I saw that practically every surface gleamed.
"Oh, it's okay..."
"Come on, my room's more normal." he took me by the hand and lead me upstairs into his room, this action doing nothing for my already jangled nerves.
He was right about his room being more normal, normal as in not OCD clean. One wall was completely covered in posters and things cut out from magazines, while the other two were painted jet black. The wall that his bed was against had a large Medusa head painted onto it, it was painted white with black detailing and there was a thin red outline that showed the snakes for hair. On the forehead were the letters SC, separated by two bones.
"What do you think?" he asked almost shyly.
"It's amazing. Did you draw this yourself?"
"Yeah, the SC stands for Skeleton Crew. I made that up too."
"Cool..."
Frank jumped onto his bed the patted the space next to him, signaling for me to join him. I sat down as normally as I could with a sickening feeling in my stomach that wasn't to do with feeling ill, just the fact that the most gorgeous boy in the world was sat next to me and I was in the house alone with him.
"Gee? Can ask you something?"
I gulped, "Yeah...anything."
"Y'know the other day, when we were sat talking? You never did answer my question." he said with a cheeky smile pulling at the corners of his mouth that made my insides feel funny.
"O-oh. What was the question?" I asked, I'd gotten a total mind block.
He smirked. "Why do you always look at me like that?"
"Because...because...I..."
I couldn't think straight, he was about an inch away from me, so close that I could feel his body heat, so close that I almost knew what was going to happen in the next minute or so.
"Because you like me?" he offered.
"Y-Yeah...something like that..."
He smirked again making my stomach flip and my heart pound in my chest so loud that I think he could hear it.
"Good...cause I like you too."
I knew it would happen and it was even better than I imagined. Frank pressed his lips gently to mine and carefully teased my mouth open with the tip of his tongue, sliding it into my mouth. My hand found his waist and I pulled him closer to me as he linked his hands around my neck, our lips moved gently and softly against each other as did our tongues, dancing almost, a beautiful thing that I'd wanted to happen for so long.
Frank twisted his fingers into my hair and wrapped an ankle around mine and began to slowly rub up and down my leg. I resisted the urge to moan softly, instead I let my hand wander cautiously down to the top of his thigh.
I never imagine that after everything that happened before, things could turn out to feel just like the first time. Maybe it was because I truly did love Frank or maybe it was because something good hadn't happened to me in a while that this felt right. Like this was how it was supposed to be forever.
It sounded strange to say that so quickly, but the feeling I got from being with Frank was nothing I'd felt before.
And I didn't want it to ever stop.
G
xoxo
♠ ♠ ♠
I hope everyone enjoyed this one, I really enjoyed writing it ;]Now, I'm off to watch Desperate Housewives!!! =D SQUEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't forget to comment!!! <3
xoxox