For My Boyfriend's Eyes Only
020.
A few days later I woke up to the usual pile of letters on my door mat that had fallen through the letter box. After I'd switched the coffee maker on, I wandered out into the hall and picked them up, briefly leafing through them.
Urgh, rent...urgh, junkmail...more junkmail...
I stopped at the last letter that I hadn't dropped onto the 'junkmail' pile back on the mat. It was a white envolope with my address handwritten onto it, something you don't see very often these days. I walked back into the kitchen just in time to make my coffee and sat down at the table staring at the letter in my hand.
Who would send a handwritten letter that I knew? My mom? No, she's capable of using the phone. Mikey definatly wouldn't.
Tired of my curiousity I ripped open the seal and pulled out the folded up piece of paper, straightened it out and began to read.
Dear Frank,
I'm terribly sorry about my reaction the other day, I had no right to act the way I did, your visit took me by suprise that's all.
When you mentioned Gerard's suicide attempt I couldn't help but feel guilty for all that time I knew about it and never said a word to you. I was so torn up at what he had tried to do, that I never thought for one second about what it would have done to you. That sounds really self-centered of me but I'm sorry.
You mentioned that I burned both notes, the one addressed to us and the one addressed to you. Yes, I burnt them. I did this because I had no other choice, I didn't want anyone outside the family to know what had happened. It was again selfish of me to burn the note he wrote for you without you seeing it first, but in all honesty I didn't want you to fall apart. For both your sakes.
I was worried what would happen between the two of you if you saw what he wrote.
I decided I would leave it up to Gerard to tell you, which I hoped that he would. Obviously, I was wrong about that. But I never wanted to tell you myself, I didn't think it was right for me to do that because I didn't want to interfere in your relationship.
As for having a hand in making you see Dr Rowland, I apologise. I had no idea how you and Gerard felt about her or how you both felt she wasn't helping you in any way. It's only now that I realize that I should've listened to Gerard more and tried to help him better than I did.
I hope that this has helped you understand my actions which, now I think back on them, were completly inapropriate. Please remember that Gerard loved you so much and I know he would never would have kept anything from you intentionally.
Donna.
Urgh, rent...urgh, junkmail...more junkmail...
I stopped at the last letter that I hadn't dropped onto the 'junkmail' pile back on the mat. It was a white envolope with my address handwritten onto it, something you don't see very often these days. I walked back into the kitchen just in time to make my coffee and sat down at the table staring at the letter in my hand.
Who would send a handwritten letter that I knew? My mom? No, she's capable of using the phone. Mikey definatly wouldn't.
Tired of my curiousity I ripped open the seal and pulled out the folded up piece of paper, straightened it out and began to read.
Dear Frank,
I'm terribly sorry about my reaction the other day, I had no right to act the way I did, your visit took me by suprise that's all.
When you mentioned Gerard's suicide attempt I couldn't help but feel guilty for all that time I knew about it and never said a word to you. I was so torn up at what he had tried to do, that I never thought for one second about what it would have done to you. That sounds really self-centered of me but I'm sorry.
You mentioned that I burned both notes, the one addressed to us and the one addressed to you. Yes, I burnt them. I did this because I had no other choice, I didn't want anyone outside the family to know what had happened. It was again selfish of me to burn the note he wrote for you without you seeing it first, but in all honesty I didn't want you to fall apart. For both your sakes.
I was worried what would happen between the two of you if you saw what he wrote.
I decided I would leave it up to Gerard to tell you, which I hoped that he would. Obviously, I was wrong about that. But I never wanted to tell you myself, I didn't think it was right for me to do that because I didn't want to interfere in your relationship.
As for having a hand in making you see Dr Rowland, I apologise. I had no idea how you and Gerard felt about her or how you both felt she wasn't helping you in any way. It's only now that I realize that I should've listened to Gerard more and tried to help him better than I did.
I hope that this has helped you understand my actions which, now I think back on them, were completly inapropriate. Please remember that Gerard loved you so much and I know he would never would have kept anything from you intentionally.
Donna.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know it's short, I'm kinda having a mental block plot-wise.Don't worry though, I'm sure it won't last long
I'll probably update again later this week
Comments = <3
xoxo