For My Boyfriend's Eyes Only
022.
Jon's POV
One week later
There was someone waiting for me outside my office when I arrived to work that day. Normally, I wouldn't have minded as the only person that waited for me this early was Mat. This happened when there was something deeply troubling him and phone calls where not an option for him.
But today, it wasn't Mat. It was my boss and that scared the shit out of me.
To be perfectly honest, Mrs Carter wasn't a scary person. Strict, yes. Professional, most definitely. But there wasn't any real reason to be frightened about why she was waiting for me. Or so I thought.
"Good morning Jon. Nice to see you could finally make it." she greeted with a false smile.
'Finally make it'? I was five minutes early, what was her problem?
"Uh, yeah. Nice to see you too, Mrs Carter. Would you like to come inside?" I asked as I turned the key in the lock of my door.
"Yes, thank you."
I pushed the door open and gestured for her to enter first, me being the gentleman that I am and all. She walked slowly over to the window, taking in the view of the city that was just waking up. Before I could even sit down at my desk, Mrs Carter sighed and walked over to me, holding the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.
"I'd better make this quick, Jon." she said regretfully.
I looked at her, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?"
"I really don't want to do this, but..." she sighed. "It's my job and I respect it with the same professionalism that I expect all of my staff to have."
I shook my head. "Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about Mrs Carter."
She turned back to face the window, a worried look all over her face. Now I was really starting to panic. My boss shows up first thing on a morning and tells me she doesn't want to do something? Something that involves her job and most probably mine? I stared blankly at the floor, trying to count the small dots on it but I kept loosing track and eventually gave up.
By that time, Mrs Carter spoke again.
"Jon," her voice had taken a more serious tone. "Do you honestly have no idea as to why I've been asked to speak to you?"
I shook my head lightly from side to side.
"No idea at all? Not even..." she stopped and sighed, walking over to the filing cabinet and opening it up.
"Hey, that's kinda for my eyes only. If you don't mind." I said, feeling incredibly rude for saying that to my boss.
She totally ignored me and carried on looking until she pulled out a cream colored folder. The drawer of the cabinet slammed shut as Mrs Carter made her way back over to my desk and set the file down, her hand covering the name.
"Do you think now you might be starting to understand?"
"Mrs Carter, all those files look exactly the same until you show me the name y'know?" I said, trying to keep positive although, by now, I was beginning to panic even more.
"Well then, maybe this..." she uncovered the name on the file. "Will help you understand why I'm here."
Frank Anthony Iero
No. Fucking. Way.
---
Frank's POV
It dawned on me that I hadn't read Gerard's diary in a while. I guess I'd been so busy thinking about other things that it hadn't crossed my mind. For once I'd actually been too busy to think about him. And for once, I felt like I was actually beginning to accept his death.
Regardless, I withdrew the black notebook from my bedside drawer and found the place where I'd last read.
3rd January
Okay, so, new year. New start. This means a whole new Gerard. I'm actually fucking serious for once in my sorry little life. I think that maybe now the whole suicide thing has blown over (although it probably won't ever be forgotten) I can begin to move on in my life.
One thing's for sure is I'm going to make a huge effort with Frank. Man, I've missed him so much over my time in hospital and through the trips to the loony bin. I know he's the one. The only one I think I'll ever be able to love in this way. And you know what the weird thing is? I haven't felt the need to express my love to him through sex. Maybe I don't have to?
See, with Frank it's different. Whenever I see him, I feel so unbelievably happy that I can't describe it in words. I don't think it's ever going to be possible, perhaps in twenty years time when my vocabulary's gone beyond fuck and shit.
But anyway, even when he just looks at me, it's like nothing else in the world is happening. It's like my world revolves around him...
No, actually. He is my whole world.
xoxo
G
It was a short entry, but it made me feel like he was still here and that he still loved me. I knew shouldn't dwell on the emotions I still have for him, seeing as Jon's now involved in my life. But I couldn't help it. Gerard was the first person I loved with all my heart. He was the first guy I'd ever fallen in love with. He was the one that made me realize that I preferred guys over girls. He was the reason I kept going when I felt like ending it all. He was my reason for living. And when he was taken away from me, it was like half of me died with him.
I could feel my eyes starting to sting with tears and I realized I hadn't cried in over a week. It sounds so strange but for me, it was strange. Everything had been going right, but now I just had this wave of emotions for Gerard reappear and I didn't think they would do that for a while.
I soon calmed myself down and slid the diary back into the drawer, before I wiped my eyes dry with the sleeve of my shirt. Just then, the sounds of my phone vibrating through the desk filled the room. I quickly forgot why I'd been crying and grabbed the silver object.
There was one message. I hadn't been expecting anyone to contact me, so it must've been important.
Important was the understatement of the century.
People know about us.
Jon x
One week later
There was someone waiting for me outside my office when I arrived to work that day. Normally, I wouldn't have minded as the only person that waited for me this early was Mat. This happened when there was something deeply troubling him and phone calls where not an option for him.
But today, it wasn't Mat. It was my boss and that scared the shit out of me.
To be perfectly honest, Mrs Carter wasn't a scary person. Strict, yes. Professional, most definitely. But there wasn't any real reason to be frightened about why she was waiting for me. Or so I thought.
"Good morning Jon. Nice to see you could finally make it." she greeted with a false smile.
'Finally make it'? I was five minutes early, what was her problem?
"Uh, yeah. Nice to see you too, Mrs Carter. Would you like to come inside?" I asked as I turned the key in the lock of my door.
"Yes, thank you."
I pushed the door open and gestured for her to enter first, me being the gentleman that I am and all. She walked slowly over to the window, taking in the view of the city that was just waking up. Before I could even sit down at my desk, Mrs Carter sighed and walked over to me, holding the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.
"I'd better make this quick, Jon." she said regretfully.
I looked at her, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?"
"I really don't want to do this, but..." she sighed. "It's my job and I respect it with the same professionalism that I expect all of my staff to have."
I shook my head. "Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about Mrs Carter."
She turned back to face the window, a worried look all over her face. Now I was really starting to panic. My boss shows up first thing on a morning and tells me she doesn't want to do something? Something that involves her job and most probably mine? I stared blankly at the floor, trying to count the small dots on it but I kept loosing track and eventually gave up.
By that time, Mrs Carter spoke again.
"Jon," her voice had taken a more serious tone. "Do you honestly have no idea as to why I've been asked to speak to you?"
I shook my head lightly from side to side.
"No idea at all? Not even..." she stopped and sighed, walking over to the filing cabinet and opening it up.
"Hey, that's kinda for my eyes only. If you don't mind." I said, feeling incredibly rude for saying that to my boss.
She totally ignored me and carried on looking until she pulled out a cream colored folder. The drawer of the cabinet slammed shut as Mrs Carter made her way back over to my desk and set the file down, her hand covering the name.
"Do you think now you might be starting to understand?"
"Mrs Carter, all those files look exactly the same until you show me the name y'know?" I said, trying to keep positive although, by now, I was beginning to panic even more.
"Well then, maybe this..." she uncovered the name on the file. "Will help you understand why I'm here."
Frank Anthony Iero
No. Fucking. Way.
---
Frank's POV
It dawned on me that I hadn't read Gerard's diary in a while. I guess I'd been so busy thinking about other things that it hadn't crossed my mind. For once I'd actually been too busy to think about him. And for once, I felt like I was actually beginning to accept his death.
Regardless, I withdrew the black notebook from my bedside drawer and found the place where I'd last read.
3rd January
Okay, so, new year. New start. This means a whole new Gerard. I'm actually fucking serious for once in my sorry little life. I think that maybe now the whole suicide thing has blown over (although it probably won't ever be forgotten) I can begin to move on in my life.
One thing's for sure is I'm going to make a huge effort with Frank. Man, I've missed him so much over my time in hospital and through the trips to the loony bin. I know he's the one. The only one I think I'll ever be able to love in this way. And you know what the weird thing is? I haven't felt the need to express my love to him through sex. Maybe I don't have to?
See, with Frank it's different. Whenever I see him, I feel so unbelievably happy that I can't describe it in words. I don't think it's ever going to be possible, perhaps in twenty years time when my vocabulary's gone beyond fuck and shit.
But anyway, even when he just looks at me, it's like nothing else in the world is happening. It's like my world revolves around him...
No, actually. He is my whole world.
xoxo
G
It was a short entry, but it made me feel like he was still here and that he still loved me. I knew shouldn't dwell on the emotions I still have for him, seeing as Jon's now involved in my life. But I couldn't help it. Gerard was the first person I loved with all my heart. He was the first guy I'd ever fallen in love with. He was the one that made me realize that I preferred guys over girls. He was the reason I kept going when I felt like ending it all. He was my reason for living. And when he was taken away from me, it was like half of me died with him.
I could feel my eyes starting to sting with tears and I realized I hadn't cried in over a week. It sounds so strange but for me, it was strange. Everything had been going right, but now I just had this wave of emotions for Gerard reappear and I didn't think they would do that for a while.
I soon calmed myself down and slid the diary back into the drawer, before I wiped my eyes dry with the sleeve of my shirt. Just then, the sounds of my phone vibrating through the desk filled the room. I quickly forgot why I'd been crying and grabbed the silver object.
There was one message. I hadn't been expecting anyone to contact me, so it must've been important.
Important was the understatement of the century.
People know about us.
Jon x
♠ ♠ ♠
Oh dear o_oI've started my vampire Frerard :]In Love With All Of These Vampires
Comments and all the rest of it would be muchly appreciated :]
And it does seem to be the same people commenting this one all the time (not that I don't want you to) It would be nice to hear from some new people :] *hint*
xoxo <3