For My Boyfriend's Eyes Only
008.
For the first time in I don't know how long, I actually felt a little happy when I woke up. I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything to do with the pills, it was to do with what he'd written about me.
Even after we got together and had been for a while, I never actually knew what he felt towards me after we'd had that first conversation. It made me feel better knowing that and I actually had a smile on my face for the whole day.
I remembered something else from the last entry I read, that Mikey had a thing for Alicia. Alicia Simmons I think she was called, after all it was in high school and I never really spent much time there, after I got with Gerard anyway.
When I'd gotten dressed and had my morning coffee I decided to call Mikey and find out some more on 'Him and Alicia'.
"Hello?"
"Hey Mikey."
"Oh, hi Frank. How you doing?"
"I'm good...great actually." I said, my voice clearly sounding happy.
"Oh that's nice to hear. So, what's up?"
"Do you remember Alicia Simmons?"
"Uh...um, er..yeah, why?" he stuttered.
I held back a laugh at his sudden discomfort, "Oh, well I was just wondering if you and her ever went out at all?"
"Um, no. Why? What's given you this idea?"
"Do you still see her?" I asked, completely ignoring Mikey's question.
"Sometimes at collage, she's in my history class."
"Oh, nice. Do you still like her?"
A weird choking noise sounded from the other end of the line, Mikey coughed and spluttered before answering.
"I..uh, what?! No! Whywouldyousaythat?!" he finished the question on a sharp intake of breath and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Aw, come on Mikes, if you do you can tell me. I'm not gonna try and set you two up or anything."
"NO! Don't you even think about it! Please Frank, for my own sake don't do it."
"Okay, okay. Just promise me something?"
"Sure."
"Give it a try with her, you never know it might work out."
"O..Okay, but...whatever. Yeah, I will."
"Good, that's cheered me up."
"You sound pretty cheery already."
"I do?"
"Yeah, it...it's nice, y'know? After everything that's happened."
"Thanks Mikes."
"It's okay...look I gotta go, but I'll speak to you soon okay?"
"Okay, bye Mikey."
"Bye."
---
I didn't really have much to do for the rest of the day, I didn't feel like attempting to catch up on collage work because there was no point. I'd probably failed all my classes by now, seeing as I'd been at home for the past three months.
So, the only thing I could think of doing was reading some more of Gerard's diary.
5th November
I'm so fucking happy right now, it's unbelievable. I've never felt this way...ever! And it's all because of Frank.
I can't really describe what it is about him that makes me feel like this, all I know is that I don't want it to ever stop.
I don't know what happens when I see him, it's almost as if some kind of...I don't know exactly, I get this weird feeling inside of me that makes my heart swell and feel like I'm going to explode...I think I'm in love...
Fuck, wait, that sounds crazy, I've spent time with him for like what, three days? Yeah, pretty ridiculous right? I should get my head out of the clouds and start thinking logically, he's probably not interested in me at all.
No...hang on...he said something today...something that shook me in a good way I think.
But we were sat together again, but this time we were outside on one of the benches, away from most of the kids that had taken to the grass to catch some sun. We were just talking normally about music and shit like that, but then something happened, something I wasn't expecting.
"Gee? Can I ask you something?" he sounded all shy and quiet. He'd given me this new nickname, which I kinda like and must admit was easier than calling me Gerard all the time.
"Yeah, anything."
"How come I always see you looking at me like...I don't know...like you really like me or something?"
I suddenly felt sick, I think my stomach did several flips again and my heart stopped beating.
"Uh...I..I.."
Shit, I couldn't think of a good enough excuse without giving it away that I was gay.
He laughed almost nervously, then spoke again. "It's fine, really. I kinda had my suspicions that you were...um, gay."
My whole body froze from shock.
Well at least you didn't have to say it yourself.
I blinked a couple of times before regaining awareness of my surroundings and the conversation that was going on.
"Oh." I said stupidly.
"I don't mind Gee, it's fine...cause, um, I'm gay too."
"Really?" I asked, completely shocked.
"Yeah, just don't spread it around, only my parents don't know yet. If anything got back to them...urgh, I don't wanna think about it."
I laughed a little uneasily, wondering if it was appropriate after what he'd just said. "Okay, I won't."
"Thanks Gee." he said, getting up off them bench and turning to walk away. Then, he stopped and turned back to face me. He came closer then leaned in to me and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.
When I realized what had just happened he was already gone and I didn't see him for the rest of the day.
Ah fuck it, I am in love.
G
xoxo
Even after we got together and had been for a while, I never actually knew what he felt towards me after we'd had that first conversation. It made me feel better knowing that and I actually had a smile on my face for the whole day.
I remembered something else from the last entry I read, that Mikey had a thing for Alicia. Alicia Simmons I think she was called, after all it was in high school and I never really spent much time there, after I got with Gerard anyway.
When I'd gotten dressed and had my morning coffee I decided to call Mikey and find out some more on 'Him and Alicia'.
"Hello?"
"Hey Mikey."
"Oh, hi Frank. How you doing?"
"I'm good...great actually." I said, my voice clearly sounding happy.
"Oh that's nice to hear. So, what's up?"
"Do you remember Alicia Simmons?"
"Uh...um, er..yeah, why?" he stuttered.
I held back a laugh at his sudden discomfort, "Oh, well I was just wondering if you and her ever went out at all?"
"Um, no. Why? What's given you this idea?"
"Do you still see her?" I asked, completely ignoring Mikey's question.
"Sometimes at collage, she's in my history class."
"Oh, nice. Do you still like her?"
A weird choking noise sounded from the other end of the line, Mikey coughed and spluttered before answering.
"I..uh, what?! No! Whywouldyousaythat?!" he finished the question on a sharp intake of breath and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Aw, come on Mikes, if you do you can tell me. I'm not gonna try and set you two up or anything."
"NO! Don't you even think about it! Please Frank, for my own sake don't do it."
"Okay, okay. Just promise me something?"
"Sure."
"Give it a try with her, you never know it might work out."
"O..Okay, but...whatever. Yeah, I will."
"Good, that's cheered me up."
"You sound pretty cheery already."
"I do?"
"Yeah, it...it's nice, y'know? After everything that's happened."
"Thanks Mikes."
"It's okay...look I gotta go, but I'll speak to you soon okay?"
"Okay, bye Mikey."
"Bye."
---
I didn't really have much to do for the rest of the day, I didn't feel like attempting to catch up on collage work because there was no point. I'd probably failed all my classes by now, seeing as I'd been at home for the past three months.
So, the only thing I could think of doing was reading some more of Gerard's diary.
5th November
I'm so fucking happy right now, it's unbelievable. I've never felt this way...ever! And it's all because of Frank.
I can't really describe what it is about him that makes me feel like this, all I know is that I don't want it to ever stop.
I don't know what happens when I see him, it's almost as if some kind of...I don't know exactly, I get this weird feeling inside of me that makes my heart swell and feel like I'm going to explode...I think I'm in love...
Fuck, wait, that sounds crazy, I've spent time with him for like what, three days? Yeah, pretty ridiculous right? I should get my head out of the clouds and start thinking logically, he's probably not interested in me at all.
No...hang on...he said something today...something that shook me in a good way I think.
But we were sat together again, but this time we were outside on one of the benches, away from most of the kids that had taken to the grass to catch some sun. We were just talking normally about music and shit like that, but then something happened, something I wasn't expecting.
"Gee? Can I ask you something?" he sounded all shy and quiet. He'd given me this new nickname, which I kinda like and must admit was easier than calling me Gerard all the time.
"Yeah, anything."
"How come I always see you looking at me like...I don't know...like you really like me or something?"
I suddenly felt sick, I think my stomach did several flips again and my heart stopped beating.
"Uh...I..I.."
Shit, I couldn't think of a good enough excuse without giving it away that I was gay.
He laughed almost nervously, then spoke again. "It's fine, really. I kinda had my suspicions that you were...um, gay."
My whole body froze from shock.
Well at least you didn't have to say it yourself.
I blinked a couple of times before regaining awareness of my surroundings and the conversation that was going on.
"Oh." I said stupidly.
"I don't mind Gee, it's fine...cause, um, I'm gay too."
"Really?" I asked, completely shocked.
"Yeah, just don't spread it around, only my parents don't know yet. If anything got back to them...urgh, I don't wanna think about it."
I laughed a little uneasily, wondering if it was appropriate after what he'd just said. "Okay, I won't."
"Thanks Gee." he said, getting up off them bench and turning to walk away. Then, he stopped and turned back to face me. He came closer then leaned in to me and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.
When I realized what had just happened he was already gone and I didn't see him for the rest of the day.
Ah fuck it, I am in love.
G
xoxo
♠ ♠ ♠
I probably won't get chance to update tomorrow as I'm going out for the day.Then I'm away for the weekend, so look forward to Monday everyone!!! =] =]
Comments = <3
xoxo