For My Boyfriend's Eyes Only
009.
The worst thing that can happen when you're having the best night's sleep is to be woken up by someone knocking on your door, or in my case buzzing to try and get through to me. I groaned and rolled over in bed, wrapping myself in more of the duvet, hoping that they would go away, but still the buzzing rang through the apartment. Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of bed and went to answer, cursing the person all the way.
"What the hell do you want?" I snapped as I picked up.
"Um, Frank? I need to see you." a voice I didn't recognize answered.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?!"
"Um..no?"
They were un-fucking believable. "It's fucking 3am! This better be important!"
"It is, can you...uh let me in?"
I sighed angrily, "Fine." Then I held down the button until I heard a click at the other end and slammed the phone back down in it's holder.
I paced the living room furiously, running my hands through my hair whilst muttering to myself about the son-of-a-bitch who'd got me out of bed. Then it hit me that I didn't even ask their name.
"Shit Frank." I said aloud.
Just then, there was a knocking at the door, I practically ran over to answer it and nearly ripped the door off it's hinges as I opened it.
I was taken a-back by the person that was stood in front of me, they looked like they'd just wandered in off the streets and were bugging the residents, yet it couldn't just be anybody. He'd known my name. I blinked several times, my eyes still adjusting to the bright light, before noticing the person's appearance.
They were unshaven and had long, black straggly hair that looked like it hadn't been washed or brushed in a long time. His skin was pale and slightly greasy with dark rings around each eye that could've been from lack of sleep or something else. It took me a while to realize that he was vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't place him.
"Do I know you?" I asked, still slightly agitated.
"Uh...you might." he replied in a gravely voice.
"What do you want at this time of the morning?"
"I heard about...Gerard."
I suddenly felt sick. "W-What?"
"Is it really true?" they asked.
"Um..yeah, obviously...W-who are you?" I demanded, still annoyed with this person.
They looked down at their feet sheepishly, then spoke. "I'm Bert."
I felt even worse, my stomach flipping over and over. Bert, Gerard's twisted, sex-crazed animal of an ex was stood less than a foot away from me and I had a strong urge to rip his fucking head off.
"Oh..." I answered, trying to process what was happening. "How did you...why..." I shook my head helplessly. "Huh?" was the answer that could express my confusion.
Bert chuckled slightly before explaining himself. "I heard about Gerard a few weeks ago...I-I was reading an old paper at a friend's house and...I needed to see you."
"But it was months ago Bert. Three months...why now?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, "I don't read the papers as much as I should, I guess."
I nodded, "So, what did you come here for?"
"I just wanted to know how it happened."
"Car crash." I said simply. "He was literally crushed to death, his insides were so messed up the doctors couldn't do anything to save him." I choked, stopping myself before I broke down in floods of tears in front of him.
"Fuck..." Bert whispered, dragging a hand through his hair.
"Fuck indeed." I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight from one foot to another.
"So, what did you do with him?"
"'Scuse me?" I gasped.
"Like, did you bury him or burn him...?"
"The correct term is cremate...and we buried him." I said gloomily.
"Oh...was the funeral okay?"
"As good as funerals can go."
Bert looked at me weirdly, then it hit me that he wasn't suffering from lack of sleep or a slight cold by the way he was sniffing constantly, he was drunk or stoned, or maybe both. His eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were the size of pin-pricks. It pissed me off that he'd chosen now, three months later, to actually give a shit.
"Did you-"
"Why the fuck do you care?!" I snapped, interrupting him.
He looked a little shocked, his body tensing slightly. "I-I.."
"You come here now, three in the fucking morning, three months after it happened, drunk, stoned or whatever when you haven't shown the slightest bit of interest in Gerard in the two years me and him have been together, since he finished with you! So why, why do you care now that he's dead?! WHY NOW?!"
Bert just stood there gaping at me like a demented goldfish, his mouth opening and closing. He didn't answer for a few minutes, probably letting me calm down, but I couldn't. I was breathing too fast and deeply, the room was spinning slowly but it was picking up speed with ever second that passed. My skin was beginning to feel hot and sticky as were my hands, I ran them through my hair in an attempt to cool down but it didn't work, I just felt worse.
My legs were shaking underneath me and the ground felt unsteady. I could hardly breathe now, it was like someone had wrapped their hands tightly around my throat and wouldn't let go until they'd squeezed the life out of me. My eyelids fluttered shut and the voice calling my name seemed distant. Suddenly, the whole room just gave way under my feet and I fell into the blackness...
"What the hell do you want?" I snapped as I picked up.
"Um, Frank? I need to see you." a voice I didn't recognize answered.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?!"
"Um..no?"
They were un-fucking believable. "It's fucking 3am! This better be important!"
"It is, can you...uh let me in?"
I sighed angrily, "Fine." Then I held down the button until I heard a click at the other end and slammed the phone back down in it's holder.
I paced the living room furiously, running my hands through my hair whilst muttering to myself about the son-of-a-bitch who'd got me out of bed. Then it hit me that I didn't even ask their name.
"Shit Frank." I said aloud.
Just then, there was a knocking at the door, I practically ran over to answer it and nearly ripped the door off it's hinges as I opened it.
I was taken a-back by the person that was stood in front of me, they looked like they'd just wandered in off the streets and were bugging the residents, yet it couldn't just be anybody. He'd known my name. I blinked several times, my eyes still adjusting to the bright light, before noticing the person's appearance.
They were unshaven and had long, black straggly hair that looked like it hadn't been washed or brushed in a long time. His skin was pale and slightly greasy with dark rings around each eye that could've been from lack of sleep or something else. It took me a while to realize that he was vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't place him.
"Do I know you?" I asked, still slightly agitated.
"Uh...you might." he replied in a gravely voice.
"What do you want at this time of the morning?"
"I heard about...Gerard."
I suddenly felt sick. "W-What?"
"Is it really true?" they asked.
"Um..yeah, obviously...W-who are you?" I demanded, still annoyed with this person.
They looked down at their feet sheepishly, then spoke. "I'm Bert."
I felt even worse, my stomach flipping over and over. Bert, Gerard's twisted, sex-crazed animal of an ex was stood less than a foot away from me and I had a strong urge to rip his fucking head off.
"Oh..." I answered, trying to process what was happening. "How did you...why..." I shook my head helplessly. "Huh?" was the answer that could express my confusion.
Bert chuckled slightly before explaining himself. "I heard about Gerard a few weeks ago...I-I was reading an old paper at a friend's house and...I needed to see you."
"But it was months ago Bert. Three months...why now?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, "I don't read the papers as much as I should, I guess."
I nodded, "So, what did you come here for?"
"I just wanted to know how it happened."
"Car crash." I said simply. "He was literally crushed to death, his insides were so messed up the doctors couldn't do anything to save him." I choked, stopping myself before I broke down in floods of tears in front of him.
"Fuck..." Bert whispered, dragging a hand through his hair.
"Fuck indeed." I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight from one foot to another.
"So, what did you do with him?"
"'Scuse me?" I gasped.
"Like, did you bury him or burn him...?"
"The correct term is cremate...and we buried him." I said gloomily.
"Oh...was the funeral okay?"
"As good as funerals can go."
Bert looked at me weirdly, then it hit me that he wasn't suffering from lack of sleep or a slight cold by the way he was sniffing constantly, he was drunk or stoned, or maybe both. His eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were the size of pin-pricks. It pissed me off that he'd chosen now, three months later, to actually give a shit.
"Did you-"
"Why the fuck do you care?!" I snapped, interrupting him.
He looked a little shocked, his body tensing slightly. "I-I.."
"You come here now, three in the fucking morning, three months after it happened, drunk, stoned or whatever when you haven't shown the slightest bit of interest in Gerard in the two years me and him have been together, since he finished with you! So why, why do you care now that he's dead?! WHY NOW?!"
Bert just stood there gaping at me like a demented goldfish, his mouth opening and closing. He didn't answer for a few minutes, probably letting me calm down, but I couldn't. I was breathing too fast and deeply, the room was spinning slowly but it was picking up speed with ever second that passed. My skin was beginning to feel hot and sticky as were my hands, I ran them through my hair in an attempt to cool down but it didn't work, I just felt worse.
My legs were shaking underneath me and the ground felt unsteady. I could hardly breathe now, it was like someone had wrapped their hands tightly around my throat and wouldn't let go until they'd squeezed the life out of me. My eyelids fluttered shut and the voice calling my name seemed distant. Suddenly, the whole room just gave way under my feet and I fell into the blackness...
♠ ♠ ♠
I'm back (:I have the next chapter ready to write up so just hold on
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P.S. Hope everyone had a nice easter (: