Frustrated, Unnoticed

I'm Not Someone You Ignore

Miranda sighed, letting the still Autumn air caress her pale skin as she sat on one of the old rubber swings at the park. Though she found Georgia hard to live in sometimes, the sight of Autumn was truly a sight to behold in St. Augustine. The air was chilled to the perfect temperature, the scent of cinammon and exotic spices wafting throughout the entire town. The babbling of the wide stream and delicate crackle of falling orange and red leaves chimed for miles, setting a twisting scene of change.

She breathed a small sigh of content escaped her lips as she gently rocked herself back and forth, feeling the breeze kick up and play on her cheeks. Her eyes met Alex's as he sat, smiling, in the swing next to her own. Alex's gently waving black hair fell around a boyish face with large brown eyes, filled with childish wonder. His dark olive neck sloped gently into slim shoulders and slim arms.

A vibration interupted her gawking. She fumbled through the pocket of her jeans, finding her phone and glancing at it. She had a text from Dustin.

"Don't have too much fun without me on your dateh, XOXO. >;)"

She smiled precariously, seeing his icy blue eyes, crinkled by his warm smile and framed with brown locks, gleaming with mischief in her mind. He was just creating another memory to add to those they had already created, like him teaching her how to play the drum set. The band they were in together, with Alex.

"What is it?" Alex interrputed nonchalantly, grasping her free hand in his warm one.

"Just Dustin. Being... well... Dustin."

She squeezed his hand, smiling, shoving her phone into the pocket of her jeans once again. She pulled her black "Domo-kun" jacket around her shoulders, leaning into his direction. She was so glad she had went out on a limb with this. The world felt as if, for the first time, it aws good.

"I'm glad I came to hang with you today," Alex said, his smile a gentle confirmation. "It's nice to get away from the stress of the band.

"YA rad, chto vy pokhozhi na menya ...... mой polsolnechnika! Мой Алекс!" She nuzzled into him, smiling. Her Russian toungue became dominant in excitement. English held no words for how she felt for him, and he would never know what she said.

They weren't alone.

A girl was standing there, awkwardly, her aquamarine eyes locked on them, burning with slight anger. Slight... bemusement?

It was Bree.

Miranda stared precariously, feeling awkward seeing the girl who had helped drive her insane. The girl that forced her to want to die. The girl that she had watched horror movies with all night... the girl she had gamed with... the girl that she had performed in the talent show with. The girl that was her best friend until her life spiraled out of control.

She remembered every night spent with a bottle of pills in her hand, a razor in her other, blood running down her arms, while she thought of her. The wounds got deeper and deeper, the razor craving more flesh. She would force the razor in until she couldn't bleed anymore thinking about this girl. She would attempt suicide because of the hurtful words... the lack of care and affection. The would drink more vodka and swallow more pills. She cried until she had no tears left.

Bree killed her a little bit every day.

But then... she couldn't help but smile, thinking about all the memories they had made together.

After Miranda being commited to a local hospital for a lengthy week, she knew she needed space. Needed air to breathe and room to live. She needed time to recover and find herself. She needed to get away from what had killed her slowly like a poison, day by day.

So she left. And Bree hated her for it. Hated her for leaving her alone. Hated her for leaving. Hated her.

She hated her, but she still loved her like a sister.

Bree stared into the darkness, where her eyes fell on the only thing she could see. Miranda. The girl whom had helped her fall, but kept her steady. As She watched as the girl checked her phone, and conversed with the man by her side, she cringed in anger. Following this girl, a ghost of her past she left all she knew behind her. A loving girlfriend, a great band, and her family. Miranda was her best friend, and no matter how hard she tried to escape her, Bree would not let her go.

Miranda's hazel eyes locked with Bree's aquamarine orbs, staying bound in a dizzying dance of emotion. Anger, loss, loneliness, and even the weight of a thousand memories tied them together. As the dance because longer, the rythym became lost in a sea of raging confliction, trying to keep up with one another.

Bree stood shivering in the autumn night, remembering all that was lost, all that would never be again. And the tears she promised herself would never fall fell. She cried, for the first time in months. She let the tears fall, for fear if she went to wipe her eyes the beautiful brunette would be gone; a beautiful mirage in a desert of suffering and loneliness.

As the sun was setting in the West and the wind began to blow harshly, Miranda's dark locks fell into her eyes, ending the dance abruptly. A ghostly feeling snuck its' way up her spine, through her ribcage, and into her severed heart. After feeling dead for so long, the pain was too intense to take. Her lungs could find no air, no matter how desperately she tried to suck in air. The muscle that had formerly been her heart took form again, just to break and shatter into ice shards once more. Would it ever be whole?

With the wind picking up Bree thought it was time to leave. The air was too tense. Zipping up her Jack Skellington hoodie, she turned to walk away. But as she went to take a step, something tethered her to the ground. She couldn't bring herself to leave. Slowly, she turned back around and took one more longing stare at the sister she lost. A supernatural presense was holding her to a ghost.

Miranda's slender finger tightened around the chain of the swing's support, her knuckles turning a sickening white. Her lips opened, as if to say something, but nothing would come out. Not a scream, not a whimper, not even a simple, "I'm sorry." No matter how hard she tried to force the words through her pale and quivering lips, she felt nothingness.

Slowly, the purple haired girl reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She sent one quick text to her girlfriend.
"I need you, now." She'd break down to her later, but right now, she felt like there was something she needed to do.

Alex fidgeted silently, letting this brutal dance take it's course. His large brown eyes turned to Miranda, with her gently waving hair and serene eyes. She looked dead. He knew she had to have felt dead inside, where he had planted the seeds of her heart onto soil that was only brittle ice.

Bree stood silently, thinking if she should walk closer. She felt the war between her heart and her brain, she knew it was stupid, miranda was a lost cause, but her heart said she couldn't lose her sister. Slowly, she walked until she was about a yard away from the couple. Looking at her mismatched shoelaces, she mumbled

"Hi, Miranda......"

"Bree," Miranda acknowledged, bowing her head curtly out of shame.

"Um........Gosh I'm so stupid." Bree mumbled, turning away quickly splashing tears all over the two on the swings.

"No, I'm stupid. For being vunerable and thinking that humans could be something. Thinking that trust exists. But now I know that nothing is real," Miranda sobbed, pulling her jacket around herself tightly. Her rounded shoulders shook with the intensity of her Earth-shattering sobs. Hot tears ran down her face, landing on her lap. Were these tears even real? Alex reached out, gently touching Miranda's tearstreaked cheek.

At hearing the sounds of her dear sisters sobs, she turned to face the noise.
"Sweet Miranda, I know I've hurt you. And I know that makes me a piece of rotten horse shit, unworthy of any form of affection....but, I'm sorry....I'll just go." She lamented.

"Why did this have to happen?" She didn't know who she was talking to anymore. The tears blurred her vision and every shape was distorted beyond recognition. "Why?" Her repeated question erupted into screams. Her sweet screams of anguish carried deftly into the night.

Bree stared blankly at the sobbing girl. Did her prescence really affect her this way? Maybe she should have just stayed in Odenville...She gawked at the boy, who lovingly comforted her with gentle movements. She had never seen someone besides her touch Miranda. Jealousy flared... She had been replaced.

Her body trembled violently as her sobs became less defined, blending into one another. Alex furrowed his brow, his heart tugging for the girl. With soft eyes and a gentle touch, he tried to find words to ease the tension and the pain constricting her.

"Alex," she sniffled miserably, her dark hair covering her darkly lashed hazel eyes.

The tension was too much for the lesbian. She looked pleadingly at Alex, begging him for a way out. But his eyes held nothing but desperate love for the sobbing girl.

"Bree..." His voice was gentle. "I think she wants to say I'm sorry... I know she does, but... she's in a lot of pain right now. Too much. She was like ice when she came here. Cold and untouchable. I planted seeds in her icy heart and watched her begin to thaw and bloom into a pretty Summer flower ... But now, she's freezing again. Does that... make any sense?"

"Yes, it does. I just....I thought maybe I could......I don't know what I thought. I just wish there was some way I could ease her pain," she mummbled, wiping absently at her eyes.

Alex's thumb glided gently over the crying girl's cheek, sweeping away tears that were falling. "All a seed needs is love and compassion to grow."

The small girl kneeled at the foot of her sad friend, . "I'm so sorry nee-chan. Forgive me? For everything?"

"I forgave you a long time ago." Her hand slowly found it's way to the warmth on her smooth cheek, covering it with her pale appendage. She couldn't stop her her tears, no matter how hard she willed them to stop. They still fell like the thick Russian snow.

Quickly without warning, the small girl wrapped her olive arms around the crying girls neck, and began to cry into her shoulder. "Watashi wa anata o aishite, nee-chan," she sobbed.

"YA skuchal po tebe, sestra!" One limp arm flew to the girl's hair, gently smoothing it, trying to sooth her.

Slowly, the little goth looked up, and smiled. The first smile she smiled in months.

"Shto?" She glanced to Alex's sweet face and back to Bree.

"I'm happy to have you back, even though I don't deserve you."

Alex shifted uncomfortably, retracting his warm hand from Miranda's smooth, pale face. "I... I should go. G'night, Miranda."

"Wait! Don't go. I hate sounding desperate, but I... I don't want to be alone tonight. Call Dustin and tell him that you guys are staying at my apartment tonight." Her heart wrenched at the thought of Alex leaving her, even for just a brief second. Miranda wanted him to stay and caress her face. She wanted to know everything would be okay.

No matter how she looked at it, she was hopelessly and desperately in love with him.

"Meet you there." Not wanting to overstay his welcome, Alex walked off, his slim figure disappearing in the cool Autumn night.

"Alex... my Alex..."
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