Shhh, Our Little Secret

I woke up, hitting my head on Jake's bunk above me.
"Fuck" I groaned rubbing my head, and pulling the sheets of me, and getting out of bed, I stretched, I was the only one awake again. I heard someone shuffling, and looked at the crack in the curtain of the bunk across from me, I saw Ashley my bassist shuffling around, and he rolled over, and his eyes flickered open, he smiled when he saw me.
"Morning" I said and he groaned, I laughed walking into our make shift kitchen, that was a cooker, which was never used. Cupboards which contained fuck all, and a small refrigerator which all packed with booze, as always, I heard a light snoring know Ashley had fallen back asleep again.

I grabbed some bread put it in our one slice toaster, and waited for it to ping back up, I got out my peanut butter and a knife, just as I opened the jar of heaven and put the knife in it, my toast popped up, I grabbed it, and juggled it around in my hands.
"Hot hot hot" I put it on the side, and put the peanut butter on... well I say 'put' more like lathered it on, I took my toast into the main room, and plonked myself down on the leather sofa, looking out of the window I saw out tour manger walking past, and he soon walked into the bus.
"Hey Andy"
"Hey Jon" I took the final bite of my toast and walked back into the bunk area, I saw Ashley was out of bed, and I heard the shower running, I looked at the bunk below mine. Our drummer CC, and I knew not to open the curtain, see CC always sleep, naked, and I really do not want to see that... I might be gay, but I don't wanna see that. Seen it before. Don't wanna go back down that road thanks, I heard the shower turn off, and heard foot steps around the bathroom, the door creaked open, and Ash walked out, his bare chest was being decorated with beads of water running down and making his OUTLAW tattoo glisten, he had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was wet, and laying in a mess on his shoulders,
"Like what you see Biersack?"
"Keep dreaming" Yes. I have a thing for my bassist, but it's really just a little thing... that I have had for about 6 months now.
He is straight, and well he still thinks I am straight,
"Don't need to" He said pulling out a pair of jeans out of his bunk, and walked back into the bathroom to change, he came out minuets later, and grabbed a hair dryer and took it into out 'living room', I rummaged through the shit at the end of my bunk, which contained, sweet rappers, bottles, clothes and bits of paper with screwed up lyrics, I found what I was looking for, a lighter, god knows how many I have, god knows where all of them are.

I picked up a lighter which had I <3 Porn on it... Ash bought me it thinking it would be funny, I walked outside and grabbed my packet of cigarettes on the way out, I tried to light my lighter, but it didn't work, I shook it. Great. It's empty. For mother fucking bitch sake. I walked back inside to see Ash holding a lighter, which was full, he was smirking at me.
"Give me it" I said he laughed
"Nope. Catch me" He ran into the bunk are... forgetting there is no escape there, I walked after him. I wasn't in the mood to play games, he was right at the end of the hallway, where the bathroom door was, I walked toward him, and he ran into the bathroom, before he could close the door I pushed it open, and he had no escape now! He was still smirking.
"Come get it pretty boy" He laughed dangling it and in front of me, I walked toward him, and he realized there was no where to run. No where to hide, I grabbed from the lighter and got a firm grasp on it, but Ash was pulling against me, I pulled and pulled until me and Ash stumbled backwards, and I tripped over something falling into the bathtub and Ash fell next to me.
We started laughing, I turned to look at Ash, who was staring at me, his eyes moved up and down, then he shook his head and got up.
"Ash?"
"Yeah?"
"What's up?"
"Nothing I need to go out, I will be back in a bit"
"Oh.. alright" For fuck sake. I felt my heart racing, and stumbled out of the bathtub, walking outside I sat down on the tour bus steps and finally lit my cigarette, I took in a breath of the toxic smoke, and let it back out, and felt calm now, I felt something when Ash looked at me, ad I felt like he felt something to. But Ash wouldn't go for me. I'm not his bigboobed blonde bimbo, I'm a skinny, black haired man How would someone like him go for someone like me?