What You Know Is True

I remembered this scene, back when I was in middle school. Louie was at home sick, and Josee had stayed home take care of him.

I’m at our house, our old, two-story home we used to live in before my parents divorced. I loved that house, and the way Mama had decorated each room so it had a theme.

I began walking up the stairs. It was supposed to be a short staircase but every step I took caused another stair to appear. I ran up them but it only became longer, and I was ready to quit when suddenly the scene morphed and I’m stood before Josee’s door. It was painted mint green and had starfishes, seashells, and bubbles drawn on it. I used to believe Josee was a mermaid, caused she loved the water so much and swam so good. She could never drown.

I usually knocked since Josee hated it when anyone didn’t. But I’m feeling too giddy to care and so I barged in.

The first thing I saw was Josee hanging from the ceiling; rope so tight around her neck it looked like it might slice through. Her skin was pale and she had drool on her chin and her jeans were soiled. She smelled like urine.

That wasn’t my sister.

My sister wasn’t dead. She wouldn’t had kill herself.

That wasn’t my sister.

The rope broke, the body dropped, and shattered into thousands of cockroaches that swam over my feet.

x x x x x x

I woke up with an urge to puke. I turned to the side of my bed and immediately vomited into the wastebasket by the side of my bed. It felt like an hour before all I was coughing up was air.

I sprawled back on my bed and tried to breathe. My skin was melting off my bones and my heart was rattling around. I stared at the ceiling fan whirling till my eyes crossed. I didn’t go back to sleep. I couldn’t.

I haven’t had that nightmare in a few months. Thought I had finally gotten over it.

I guess not.