What You Know Is True

Chapter 8

I never thought I could hate being at home as much I had right then. Not even locking myself in my room made me feel better.

I grabbed my skateboard from under my bed and ran downstairs where I passed my mom on the way down. She shouted at me to stop, and I was ready to scream back at her, but I just ignored her. I gave her a mock salute and flung open the door. I skated away as fast as my legs would let me.

x x x x

I ended up going to the skate park. There were a few other people there, but mostly it was empty. My clothes were glued to my skin and I was practically walking with sweat in my shoes. I tossed my skateboard on the ground, dropped over by the fence, and hung my head between my knees.

My phone made a ding noise and I took it out to see a text from Nixon: Where are ya? he wrote.

I replied back and a moment later he wrote: I’m coming. yo mom called asking if you were here.

I scoffed at the message and then laid on my back to wait for him. It was around 15 minutes later when I heard someone stand beside me.

“Nice seeing you here, punk.”

I looked up and grinned. “How’s the war going, Nixon?” He shook his head and took off the blue shades he had on and hung them on the collar of his shirt. He took a seat beside me and looked me over.

“Every time I see you, you look more and more out of it,” he said. “What’s up?”

I was about to blurt everything out, just to get it out my head and have someone tell me what to do. Nixon was smart. He was always able to think things through and find a solution. I would never tell him, but it was one of the reasons why I was kind of jealous of him. I resented him for it sometimes. But I was tired of my head being clogged up with all this mess. I needed to talk to someone.

But you already know how it goes. You have that one person you can trust and know has your back, but if you actually look at your situation, you see you can’t really talk to them about it. I mean, what was I gonna say? Oh, hey, I think my brother likes me. What do you think I should do?

Really?

“It’s nothing,” I managed to get out. “Same old, same old.” I looked away from him as the frown on his face became deeper. Lying to Nixon felt like lying about a murder you committed.

He didn’t urge me to tell him what was wrong. He gripped my shoulder tightly and stayed quiet. It was a silent message that I could tell him everything when I was ready. I couldn’t see Nixon believing me. As open-minded as he was, magic, spells, and crazy brothers were stretching it. I could never tell him the truth.

He must’ve known, because he said, “Whatever’s happening, it’ll work itself out.”

I wanted to believe he was right, but I knew better.

x x x x

Me and Nixon chilled at the skatepark for a few hours before he drove me back home. I was hit with knives as soon as I entered my house. Mama cackled loudly as I fell over and drowned in my own blood.

That’s what it felt like at least. I stood coolly by the door while she glared at me, her lips tight.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” she asked.

“I couldn’t get a signal.” I walked pass her and into the kitchen. My stomach gnawed on itself as I searched the fridge for something quick to make.

“You know not to run out like that without telling me where you’re going.”

“I’m sorry. Just wanted some fresh air,” I droned as I pulled out stuff to make a sandwich. Once I placed it all on the counter, I looked at her and forced a guilty smile. “Mom, I’m sorry. Really.” I held out my arms like a little kid begging for forgiveness and comfort. Her smile was strained, but she still came over and hugged me. She kissed the top of my head before pulling me back. I’ve been kind of an ass to her lately. I could try to tone it down, for her, at least.

Mama took a seat at the table and then asked me if I could make her some tea. While I did she talked. “What’s going on between you and Louie?” she asked.

“The same. I try not to kill him, and he tries not to end up dead.”

She didn’t laugh or frown at me in disappointment. The wrinkles in her face were slowly becoming more predominant as she gazed into space.

“He’s been acting different lately. For a long while actually. Maybe a month or so?” Much longer than I’ve had the book. I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.

“He’s been losing weight,” she said slowly. I almost said he looked the same to me, but held my tongue. “Does it look like he’s been eating to you?”

My cheeks warmed as I shrugged. “I don’t know. He doesn’t eat as much as he used to, I guess, but . . .”

“No, no,” Mama interrupted. “It’s more than that.”

I couldn’t think of what else to say, so the silence was awkward. She was serious; she thought something was really wrong with Louie. And what she thought was wrong was totally different from I had in mind.

I guess it was time to do my brotherly duty. I grudgingly told Mama I would check on Louie, and that there was nothing to worry about. She smiled encouragingly before saying thank you to me.

I finished making the tea for her and then ate my food. By the time I was done, I was dreading talking to Louie, but forced myself to anyway.

When I came to the stairs I stopped abruptly. Louie sat at the top, staring blankly down at me. Had he heard our conversation?

“Hey,” I called, “I need to talk to you.” I walked up pass him and he didn’t respond, just followed me back to my room and closed the door behind him.

I sat cross-legged on my bed and Louie stood by the door, arms tightly by his side. I tried to see him the way Mama did. His hair was getting longer, almost pass his collarbones now, but it was thinning out into dull strands. He didn’t have his contacts in, and for once we had the same eyes. The way his body seemed like it was trying to be invisible, and the paleness of his skin, I wanted to believe it was from not getting enough sunlight, because he never went outside that much. He never did liked being in the sun. Another reason why I was darker than him.

I coughed uneasily and said, “Mama’s been worrying about you.”

“I don’t know why,” he said quickly.

“She says you haven’t been eating –“

“Everyone knows you don’t really care, Dallas, so stop pretending like you’re worried about me all of a sudden.”

I think he actually stabbed me in my heart. “Screw you, Louie,” I said. The little punk actually grinned and that was when I knew nothing was wrong with him. He was being his selfish, attention-seeker self again.

“Mama should be worried about you.” He wasn’t smiling when he said that, just looked off to the side unnervingly. I didn’t bother asking him what he meant, because he never made sense.

“Louie,” I began, though I wasn’t sure what to say. I glanced around my room and saw the Grimoire on my desk. I grabbed it and turned the page to the love spell and handed it over to him.

“What’s this?” he asked. His eyebrows furrowed as he read it.

“It’s a book I bought a while ago,” I said. “Supposed to be a text book of spells. That was the one first I tried.”

“And?” He looked at me as I tried to figure out how to explain it to him. That it was meant for Lotzie but worked on him instead?

I didn’t have to. Maybe he figured it out, or he thought I was messing with him. He suddenly dropped the book and opened the door. “I feel bad for you, but you’re so stupid,” he said, before he charged off.

That was a perfectly good excuse to punch him. I almost did till I thought about my mom, and how concerned she was for him. I said I would be less of an ass for her. I guess I should stick to that commitment.

I had a moment where I hated my parents for thinking they needed to add a third kid to their nuclear family. I tried to decide what to do next – go after Louie and try to talk to him about what Mama thought his problem was, or simply let it go.

A new text message made the decision for me. It was from my friend Sean. Him and his sister were having a little party at their house, and he wanted to know if I wanted to come. I looked up the time and it was nearing nine. I doubted Mama was going to let me go, not after what I did this morning.

I replied back to Sean to meet on the corner of Foster in an hour and a half. Mama would be asleep by then, since she needed to wake up early tomorrow.

I justified my actions by thinking I needed more time to clear my head.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thank you, you, you, you, and you . . .

PS: This story has done a 180˚ on me, so some plot things have changed. It doesn't really affect past chapters. It works out better for the rest.

I ♥ you.