Erin William's Guide to Warped Tour

The Middle Of The Beginning

Erin: Age Eight

My mother was out. She was having a ‘girl’s weekend’ with her friends. I wanted a girl’s weekend.

My brother was upstairs with his headphones in ignoring everything. I wished I could ignore everything.

My father was drunk, but he was very much present. I wished he wasn’t.

He was angry too.

I was scarred.

My father got like this every time he drank too much, and it was always me. Never mom, never Dylan. Just me. And either no one knew, or no one cared.

Something must be wrong with me.

He was yelling about something, but I was crying too hard to understand. I knew what was coming, I knew how much it was going to hurt, and I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

I just sat there crying, waiting for him to hit me.

I knew he was going to, most likely more then once.

And he did. I screamed. I looked around wide eyed, hoping that someone would stop him, unlike every other time. I knew no one would, but I still hoped.

But this time something was different. My dad hadn't hitten me again yet. I looked around to see what had stopped him. I followed his gaze and noticed my brother standing, eyes wide and mouth agape in the doorway.

"No," That was all he said, but I had never been more grateful to hear a syllable in my life.

He walked over to me and picked me up like a small child. The small child I still was to him. Normally I just wanted to grow up, be independent, but now all I wanted now was never to leave my brothers arms.

He brought me upstairs and stayed with me until I fell asleep. Singing and talking to me the whole time, so I knew I was never alone.

My older brother had always been just an annoying older brother to me, and I a bratty younger sister, but not any more. Now he was a brother and a father.

More of a father then my real one would ever be.