Until Tomorrow

One year ago.

It was a warm Friday night, mid-summer, just past 3am. Kelly’s parents and sister were asleep. She’d just stumbled in. It had been a horrific night. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t party, she wouldn’t go out to lose her mind every other weekend, she wouldn’t fall into her old ways.

But they weren’t just old ways. As much as her sister wanted to disagree, as much as her parents believed she could turn her life around, it was who Kelly was. She had to lose her mind, because there was no way she’d ever be able to find it any other way. And maybe that was crazy, or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, she didn’t need an excuse, but he’d given her one – which was where her problems truly began.

He was the stressor, the trigger, the reason why Kelly purposely went to parties to get drunk. She just wanted to forget. To forget him and his friends and her stupid best friend and everything that had happened. She wasn’t a bad person, but he was. He brought out the worst in her, and she was happy to play along. Because there was a part of her that liked the danger, that liked that there were endless possibilities, that liked how she felt when she was with him.

He was toxic, didn’t care about her, only her best friend. And it made her so fucking angry every time she thought about it. Why wasn’t she good enough for him? What did her best friend have to offer that she didn’t? Why would he just fucking sleep with her and then tell her that he never cared for her? Never even fucking liked her? Only ever used her to get to her best friend? Why would he do that?

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. What was worse was that no one would hear her side of the story, and the one that did, didn’t believe her. Of course her best friend wouldn’t believe her. Of course her best friend would immediately start thinking of him and herself and start planning their future together like he hadn’t just completely destroyed Kelly.

Kelly felt so ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened. She’d been waiting for the right guy, and she’d thought it was him, that he was good for her… she gave him a piece of her, and there was no way to ever get it back. She was too far gone.

Running had been the only option. She was too afraid to tell her own sister what had happened, and they told each other everything. She didn’t leave a note, didn’t wake her sister to tell her goodbye. Didn’t leave any clues to be found.

At 3am on a Friday night in February, Kelly grabbed some clothes, money, anything that would fit in her stupid duffel bag, and ran. She had no intention of ever returning. She couldn’t deal with the pain, or the mere thought of what her family would think of her if they knew the truth.

She’d lost her virginity to a guy that wouldn’t even remember her name.

At the train station, people overlooked her as they rushed past. No one bothered to stop and ask the girl with the running makeup and red face if she was okay. No one even smiled at her. Maybe if they had, things would be different. Maybe she never would have run away. But she did. And no one bothered to chase after her.