Until Tomorrow

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, Whak. Nice to see you too,” Becca retorted, rolling her eyes as she got into the van and slid the door shut behind her. She sat down next to her best friend and sighed, glancing out the back window as they drove away, her eyes landing on the sister that she was leaving behind. How the tables had turned, she thought, before looking straight ahead at the open road in front of them. Matt was driving, and Jenna was in charge of the stereo, which meant Brand New was playing out of the speakers in the van softly, creating the perfect soundtrack for what would be a good night, if only Becca could get Kelly off of her mind.

“Was that your sister back there?” Whak whispered in Becca’s ear. He was the only one who knew, so far. Becca just didn’t know how to tell the others, and anyway, it felt much too personal. This was something only Whakaio could know.

“Yeah,” Becca replied. “My Mum tried to make me bring her along with me tonight.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s her twisted way of trying to make us ‘reconnect’ or some shit like that,” Becca replied.

“Well, why didn’t you?”

“Because I know it wouldn’t work.”

“How do you know if you don’t try?” Whakaio persisted, giving her the look that meant he was right.

“Don’t go all big brother on me, Whak. We’re supposed to be having fun tonight, remember?” Becca said with a small smile, nudging him with her shoulder. He smiled and nudged her back.

“You know you’re gonna have to face her some time. I’ll be here when you do,” he said.

“Thanks, Whak. Really. That means a lot to me. I just don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“And that’s okay. Just don’t avoid it forever, yeah?”

“Okay.” Becca sighed and leant against him, resting her head on his chest as he put his arm around her small shoulders. A comfortable silence settled over them as they watched their friends laugh and talk amongst themselves in the warm van, their pre-show jitters setting the atmosphere around them on fire with nervousness. Jenna sang along in the front seat beside Matt, her feet resting in front of her on the dashboard, the streetlights illuminating her pale skin exposed in the darkness through the large rips in her jeans.

Cam was catching up on sleep, stretched across the middle seat of the van, his head in Jake’s lap. Jake was talking to someone on the phone, with a smile on his face like he’d just won the lottery. When he hung up, the interrogation began.

“And just who was that?” Whakaio asked, the second he’d ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“I met a girl last week. She’s coming to the show tonight,” Jake replied with a grin.

“Don’t fuck up on stage, then,” Matt quipped. “She’ll never want to see you again!”

“Maybe you should play without a shirt tonight,” Jenna said with a laugh, joining in.

“You don’t want her to run away screaming, do you?” Cam interjected.

“Maybe you should go back to sleep, fuck-knuckle,” Jake said, rolling his eyes and pushing Cam off of him. Cam smirked and sat up, shoving his hat on backwards to hide his tangled hair. The others laughed as they pulled up to the venue they were playing – a favourite of theirs that always had a pretty good turn-out.

As they all got out of the van and started taking the gear inside to set up for the show, Becca thought back to Kelly, and the way she’d left her on the front steps of their house. Maybe she’d been too harsh. She knew what it felt like to be abandoned by her own sister, and she’d done exactly the same thing. But wasn’t that what Kelly deserved? A taste of her own medicine? The guilt weighed heavily on her heart and Becca was finding it hard to smile. Her night had been ruined already and it had barely even started yet.

“Indie,” Whakaio said, calling her by the nickname only he used. “You okay?”

“Which answer do you want?” she replied with a sigh. “The fake one that will get you off my back and make me feel worse, or the real one, which will probably make me feel just as bad?”

“The real one,” Whakaio said, sitting down beside her on the back steps of the venue.

“I’m not okay,” Becca said. “I’m kind of shit, actually.”

“This thing with your sister is really getting to you, huh?”

“The worst part is that I don’t know how to make it go away,” Becca said.

“Maybe you just need to talk to her, man. Tell her how you feel,” Whakaio replied.

“But I don’t know how to do that without getting mad and screaming at her for leaving. She hurt me, Whak. She has no idea how much.”

“Then tell her that.”

“Wouldn’t change anything.”

“You should know better than anyone that things change, Indie. You just gotta let her in, like you did with me.”

“Yeah, but that took me four months,” Becca said.

“You were worth the wait,” he said with a smile.

“Think she’ll feel that way too?”

“From the sounds of things, she just wants to put things back together,” Whakaio said.

“But I don’t know how to do that,” Becca replied with a sigh, holding her head in her hands.

“I don’t think she does, either. So figure it out, together.” Whakaio put his arm around Becca’s shoulders and leant in to kiss her on the forehead.

“Thanks, Whak. For everything,” Becca said. He smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder.

“Any time, punk,” he said, messing up her hair before getting up. “Now let’s go put on a rock show.”