Never Look Back

“Kell, are you asleep?” Stephen whispered. I wasn’t asleep but I was situated very comfortably in his lap. I didn’t answer or move, in hopes that he would try to get comfortable and fall asleep. “Yeah, she’s sleeping.”

The Summer Set was leaving Las Vegas. We were all heading toward Los Angeles now, which was exciting, seeing as I’d never been. Stephen ran a hand through my hair and shifted my body so that I was snuggled into his chest.

“She’s really warming up to you,” Brian said. He was driving the van. Jess was sleeping in the passenger seat and John was spread on the seat next to Stephen and I, snoring lightly. Through my semi-shut eyes I could see Josh texting in the back row.

“You think?”

“Obviously,” Brian confirmed. He was right too. Stephen had quickly wormed his way into my heart. His sarcastic, teasing nature was exactly what I was looking for, if I admitted to looking for anything. The way he cared for me though, that’s what got to me.

If I was drunk and upset, he listened. If I was drunk and throwing up, he held my hair. If I was sober and bitchy, he remained understanding. There was never really a time that Stephen Gomez wasn’t there for me.

In time, though it was a short amount of time, I opened up to him. I let him see my true colors. I ran to him always. I let him stitch me back together. I let him be my friend. He became the shoulder I felt comfortable enough to lean on.

And one night while he drove down an empty desert highway, the entire band sleeping in the back, I told him the entire story of Becca. I left out the fact that she was in Arizona but I told him everything else. I told him about our life before the incident, how I got us kicked out of school, and most importantly, how I left.

His reaction was when I knew that I was falling for him.

Stephen, after hearing that I was the shittiest person in the entire country, laced his fingers through mine, kissed my knuckles lightly, and proceeded to give me reasons why everything would be okay. He reassured me that regardless of Becca’s feelings toward me now that I would always have a friend in him.

He turned me into a giant, fluffy marshmallow.

“I got that feeling too, kind of,” he said. I could feel him looking down at me and my heart swelled with happiness. Guilt lurked behind me, not far but not necessarily close. Becca was never out of my mind. “She tells me things now.”

“I wonder if she knows you have a huge crush on her.”

“Shut up Brian!” he hissed. I smirked.

“Yeah, I think I have an idea about it,” I mumbled, loud enough for Brian to hear. Josh snickered in the back. Stephen stiffened noticeably underneath me and I ran a soothing hand through his hair. “I think it’s awful cute.”

He said nothing. I felt a twinge of regret for speaking up but there was nothing I could do about that now. Instead, I left a gentle kiss on the underside of his jaw, pressing my lips to his skin for a long moment. Then I settled back down contently into his chest. He tightened his arms around me then and I imagined him smiling smugly.

I had left Chicago to find someone to treat me like shit. I didn’t find that but I might have found…..love.