You're a Wreck

Some time the world kicks you down and won’t let you get back up. Cassie Barnes only made it to age 19. She never got to get married. She never got to have kids. She was lucky enough to say she was in love though.

He sat on her bed staring at the picture of him and Cassie that sat on his dresser. They were the picture of happiness. He had his arms wrapped around her and holding her close, and his lips on her cheek. He bit his lip trying not to cry. He never thought he could miss someone so much.

“Hey Max you need to get out of your room.” He said walking into the bedroom not bothering to even knock. “You’ve been in here for the past five day barely coming out.” He said looking at Max as he continued to stare at the picture.

“I miss her.” Was all he could say. “I know I miss her too.”

“Matt how are you able to get up everyday and act like nothing is wrong?” Max asked getting off the bed. “Because I got to be strong for my parents and for everyone else.”

“I don’t know how I can live with out her.” He said running his fingers through his hair. “You have to.” Matt said sitting down on the bed. “She was the love of my life and now she’s gone. She’s dead.” He said as tears started streaming down his cheeks. “How do you think I feel she’s my sister and she’s gone?” Matt asked getting up and walking towards the door.

“I should have been more careful with her.” Max stated lighting a cigarette as he walked down the hall. “Max we didn’t know about her heart condition.” He pulled the cigarette from Max’s lips. “I know but I shouldn’t have smoked around her and I shouldn’t have made her go out some nights when she didn’t want to.” He said walking into the kitchen.

“Could you fucking stop blaming yourself, it is nobodies fault.” Matt finally said. He felt complete numb from having to deal with his upset parents and Max.

“How can I not blame myself?” Max shouted back. “It’s not your fault you didn’t know she had a bad heart. Nobody did!” Matt said walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Max asked reaching into the fridge and grabbing a beer. “Anywhere but here. I can’t deal with you moping around.”

“Fuck you.” Max shouted punching the wall.

They sat on the cold concrete step on the front porch. She examined him as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. She bit her bottom lip lightly as she watched him exhale the cancerous smoke.

“You know that’s bad for you right?” She said lacing her fingers with his free hand. “Yeah I know, but what’s life without risk?” He smiled. “Well it’s just life.” She smiled. Just seeing her smile put a smile on his face. She had that effect on him. He could be having one of the shittiest days of his life and if she smiled at him it would make him feel better.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” He asked sitting up and brushing his hands off on his pant legs. “I was thinking maybe we could stay home and watch the telly.” She said standing up. “That’s boring love why don’t we go out with the lads?” He said jumping around a little bit. “I’m tired, and I would rather stay home.” She gave him a saddened look. “Love don’t be a downer let’s go out tonight.” He said grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug.

“Fine let’s go.” She said surrendering. “God I love.” He said kissing the top of her head. “I hope you don’t love me just because I agreed to go.”

“No I love you for some many reasons.” He smiled. “That’s good.”

He walked out into the living room where Chris and Dan where. “Is it wrong that I’m scared to go?” He asked lighting a cigarette. “You have every right to be scared.” Dan said running his fingers through his bleached hair.

“So let’s go. Ya?” Max said walking towards the door. The three of them piled into Dan’s car and started driving.

“Has Matt been here before?” Max asked getting out of the car. "Yeah he has.” Chris said quietly.

Max walked across the grass and walked straight to where he needed to go. He stared at the headstone as tears started welling up in his eyes. He laid a pink rose on the grave as he read the headstone.



He fell to his knees and started to cry staring at her headstone. He felt numb and completely dead on the inside.

“Hey everything’s going to be okay.” Dan said standing next to him as he cried. “I hope so.” He said fighting to catch his breath he stood up wiping his eyes.