In a Heartbeat

I set the feather down next to the parchment and stared at it. What a wonderful sight it was… Even though it showed I was desperate, it was also the guarantee of my happiness in the future. This was one of the best moments in my life… I handed the parchment to the High Commander, who also scrawled his signature on it, and then watched anxiously as the King reread the deal. Eventually, his dark eyes stopped moving and he signed down the bottom too.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Princess Evangeline,” the King beamed before shaking my hand rather gently. One moment his hands were rough and dry, the next they were wet and soft, moving over my fingers. What was going on? I glanced up at his face, which was seemingly frozen in his cheery smile, completely ruining his daunting appearance. My eyes went back to my hand and the weird sensation it was experiencing. I flicked my hand out of his grip, which got rid of the feeling, but it soon returned as my hand was at my side. Frowning, I tried to move away from the sensation, but my world just started turning black. I started to feel as if I was getting wet all over my body and I groaned. My eyes opened and I saw grey. After a few blinks, I realised it was my horse, so relaxed. Looking down at my hand, her head was there, licking away at my fingers. I giggled and pulled away from her, patting her head instead. As my senses came around, I noted it was raining and that my dress was now quite wet. Once I stood, I saw it had also become muddy. Great…

I mounted my horse and got her started in the direction of my home, wanting to get back as quickly as possible. As we galloped through the dense forest in the rain, I thought back to my dream. It had been so vivid, but it was simply a dream. Matthew was not going to be murdered by the Tyronian Kingdom, I was not going to marry Brian and become Queen, and we were not at peace with the Tyronian Kingdom. The last one was a good reason why I should not be alone, yet I was. Why did I desire to rebel so much? It was reckless and stupid, and not to mention far easier to just succumb to my father’s wishes and to behave. Nonetheless, I needed true love. Nothing could stand in my way.

I returned to the castle unnoticed, thankfully, and was able to change out of my dirty dress and hide it for when Brian returned to clean it. Soon, I was dressed in a more casual dress, accompanied by a warm white shrug, and I ate lunch quietly with my family. No one spoke about Matthew or the marriage, much to my surprise and liking, since the focus at the moment was preparation for a Tyronian attack. Oh the Tyronian Kingdom… Should I actually do what I dreamed of? Would that be a good decision? I wished to discuss it with Brian first, but he was once again absent when I returned to my sleeping quarters.

Instead, I knew I could confide in someone else, so I hopped upon my horse and rode her at a slower pace down to the beach. Two guards accompanied me from behind and I used an umbrella to shelter myself from the sudden downpour. We rode upon the beach for a while as I attempted to gather my thoughts, though I did not succeed. I then directed my horse back up onto solid ground and then we headed out to the cliff where the majestic building of the church was. Once there, I tied my horse up and headed inside, shaking the water off my umbrella before I went too far inside. The guards remained outside, knowing I needed some privacy and that I would be safe inside. I spotted Father Jonathon instantly, as he was right at the end of the building. Another person was with him and they both turned when they heard the large door shutting behind me.

“My Princess…” Jonathon called out. “May I be with you in just one moment?”

“Of course,” I called back, liking how my voice echoed around the gigantic room. Father Jonathon and the man lit candles and muttered a few words together before setting the candles down on a table in front of the large cross. The man then walked hurriedly down the aisle towards me.

“My Princess…” he muttered with a nod of his head as he passed me. I watched as he picked up an umbrella that was by the door and then left. When I turned my head back to look for Father Jonathon, he was standing right next to me, a concerned look on his face.

“Poor man… He lost his new-born daughter a few days ago and is not coping very well…” he told me and I frowned. That really was tragic. “But the Lord is here to help him, as he is for you. What can I do for you, my Princess?”

“I wish to talk more about what we discussed last time. There have been significant developments in the situation and I am considering doing something that I am positive is very bad… But… I do not see any other choice if I wish to be happy… Am I being selfish? Am I doing the correct thing? Is there another option? Father, I am so confused…” I told him in a rushed pace.

“Alright. Let us take this slowly… Firstly, there have been developments… What do you mean exactly by that?”

“Well, I have really fallen for someone, who is not the one I am to marry. I believe that we have something so special between us and I do not wish for that to ever go away. I listened to your advice, Father. I had faith and did not give up on my quest for true love… I have found it, but now I do not know what to do…” I explained and Jonathon nodded. “I considered doing something foolish today… You have heard of the attacks that occurred when I was visiting the Zilani Kingdom?”

“Yes.”

“I was considering interfering in that aspect, with the Tyronian Kingdom, just so Matthew would be taken out of the puzzle. But that is ridiculous, is it not?” I questioned, hoping he would give me an honest answer that would get some sense into my crazy mind.

“It is. You should not need to go to such extremes, my Princess. The Lord works in harmless ways, not harmful ways,” Father Jonathon concluded and I looked down. So that was a stupid dream that I had had. It was not the correct way to ensure I was with Brian and not Matthew.

“I have realised that I like this other man for a long time now… half a year, perhaps? And I only have another half a year until the marriage occurs. Barely any progress has been made, now that I truly think about it. My feelings have developed and become stronger, but that is all. My father refuses to hear my side of the story and I am hopelessly fighting a losing battle. What am I supposed to do?”

“I cannot directly answer that… What I can say is that perhaps the Lord needs to give you some more time before things become clearer. Or perhaps something will happen between then and now that will solve the problem? It is uncertain to me what he is doing, but I am positive that things will work out for the best in the end,” he continued. “He only cares about your happiness. If you are faithful to him, he will reward you.” I sighed slightly and then brushed aside a lock of wavy hair that had fallen across my face.

“I am so tormented inside by this, Father… Am I selfish? Should I sacrifice some of my happiness for the benefit of the Kingdom?” I wondered.

“How happy would you be with the Prince?”

“Not as happy as I would be with Br- the other man,” I rushed, blushing a bit at my blunder. I had almost revealed who my secret lover was, and that could have been a huge mistake.

“Would this other man be a good leader, if he were to become King?” Jonathon asked and I hesitated. Would he? I had not thought about that whatsoever. All I knew was that I liked him far more than I did Matthew, and that was all that had mattered. But now I really had to consider my Kingdom.

Matthew would clearly be the obvious choice. He was a Prince destined to be a great ruler, but what could Brian do? It was something that had not crossed my mind at all… Could a servant, a man of a low rank, become the noble leader of a successful Kingdom? I considered what I desired to do once I was Queen and noted that one of the huge changes I was going to implement was creating a more equal Kingdom. Ranks would no longer be so separated, and I would be closer to my own people, so they could have more of a say in their lives. Order would still remain, but there would be more equality. Brian would be perfect for this situation. What would be a better way to set an example of that than marrying a man of a lower rank? And surely we would be able to figure it all out after that ourselves. It would be a new era, so any previous experience or regulations about ruling a Kingdom would have to be mostly discarded. I would be starting fresh, as would the new King, if he were Brian. If he were to be Matthew… Nothing would change. He would keep the hierarchy that he adored so much and I would never get my way, I assume.

“I think this other man would do just fine,” I finally replied with a tiny grin.

“Well in that case, I will repeat what I said earlier. The Lord needs more time to make things clearer. Things will work themselves out if you give them time to. Your heart is in the correct place, and He knows that,” Jonathon told me kindly and I nodded, feeling more at peace inside now that I had confided in him once again.

“Everything will work out in the end?” I asked.

“Yes, my Princess. It all will.” And at that moment, all of my stress was alleviated.