In a Heartbeat

Princess Evangeline’s POV

Approximately a week had passed since I shared my first kiss ever with my slave Brian. Since then, he had been acting different, as if he was not worthy of me and that night was a mistake. It disappointed me, though I did not blame him for feeling that. Times were confusing… In an effort to not disappoint my father, I had also unwillingly kissed Prince Matthew a few times, as well as holding his hand. I disliked every second of it, though. There was something missing from these moments, and that something, whatever it was, I had with Brian, I just knew it… How I felt ate away at me from inside until I could not bear it any longer. I needed to confess to someone how I truly felt and attempt to come up with a solution, though I doubt there was anything else to do other than ignore Brian and marry Matthew.

Nonetheless, one day I left the castle and travelled by my trotting horse across the town to the seaside cliff where a relatively new building had been constructed looking out over the ocean. I dismounted and tied my horse up, but allowed her to have enough room to move and eat, then entered the building. Its roof was miraculously high, and its walls were littered with so many candles and pretty windows. The whole atmosphere was amazingly relaxing… There were rows and rows of long benches that I walked past as I walked down the aisle to the front of the building. Kneeling in front of a large perfectly carved wooden cross was a man, the one I wished to speak with, and the cross was suspended against a large window that looked out at the stunning view.

“Excuse me, Father,” I spoke, causing the man to cross himself before standing and turning to me.

“My Princess… What an honour,” he said with a bow of his head, causing me to give him a weak smile. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I wished to talk to someone… To confess…” I replied slowly to the man who was approximately my age, similar height, dressed in black with a white collar, and the typical dyed black hair of a slave, though he was not a slave whatsoever.

“Well, of course I am here for that. Please, take a seat,” he said while gesturing at the first row of benches.

“Thank you, Father Jonathon,” I said as we sat down facing each other. “I have to ask that this stays between us and definitely does not reach the King. Are you capable of promising me that?”

“Of course. The Lord would not allow the spread of a confession at all. This conversation is completely private. It is just you, me and the Lord, my Princess.”

“Thank you…” I breathed, feeling nervous as I was about to finally share my confusing feelings. Though Jonathon was practically a stranger, since I rarely attended the church’s services, the religion was convincing and seemed very trustworthy. The whole town believed so too. “Have you heard that my father has arranged for the marriage of Prince Matthew to me?”

“I have indeed. In fact, my King has asked that I am present to help officiate the ceremony.”

“I do not wish to marry him.”

“Why not?” Father Jonathon asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“I do not like him…” I whispered, feeling so upset that tears were on their way to my eyes again. “He is not a desirable person, but my father wishes for me to take the throne with him and will not listen to me and my desire to find true love.”

“True love is very important,” Jonathon agreed with a slow nodding of his head.

“But I cannot disobey my father and I must be a Queen one day soon, as my parents are aging,” I countered, frustrated with the situation. “I do not know what to do…”

“Is there another Prince that you wish to marry or have a greater interest in?”

“Not a Prince… He is just a mere man. But… the feelings I have for him are indescribable…” I sighed, slightly daydreaming about Brian as I spoke. “Matthew is just a friend to me, but this other man is so much more… But he is not royalty…”

“How long has this been happening for?” Jonathon questioned eagerly.

“Approximately the same amount of time… It was when a relationship was forced upon Matthew and I that I realised I liked someone else a lot and desired him instead of the Prince…” I confessed, looking up at Jonathon. “Father, please… I do not know what to do… I am truly stumped and I need your help and honest opinion…”

“Princess… I am in no position to give you advice on such royal matters. If I was to be caught interfering and putting the future of this Kingdom at risk, I would be a dead man,” Father Jonathon replied, making me feel disappointed. This trip was a waste of time. Telling him how I felt was a waste of time. I should never have come. I was about to stand up and leave when he spoke again. “But I can still try to help you find true love, as that is what the Lord would want.” I remained seated, glancing at the man cautiously.

“How can you do so?”

“I would think that you could do research on royal weddings, and find out exactly what your rights are and who you are able to marry. There might be some rule that is being broken, I am not certain, but it is worth a try,” he suggested, actually sort of helping. “If that does not work, then perhaps it is just not meant to be with this other man. But I cannot answer that for you. Only the Lord knows.”

“I agree that it is worth trying.”

“All the Lord wants is for you to be happy, Princess Evangeline. But, you have to believe in Him and aid Him when He tries to aid you in your quest for happiness and true love,” Jonathon told me with a small smile.

“How?”

“Have faith. That is the beginning of everything,” he answered simply and we shared a smile in silence.

“Thank you, Father Jonathon. I feel a lot better now, I truly do. This has been very good for me,” I said as I stood, Jonathon following my lead.

“I truly do hope that this issue is resolved soon for you, and that you do find happiness somehow.”

“Me too… I bid you a good day, Father. Thank you, again,” I said and Jonathon quickly crossed me.

“Bless you,” he said with another smile before turning back to the large cross and getting down on his knees again. I left him in peace, my thoughts seemingly arranged to a certain extent now. Smiling, I mounted my mare and rode her back to the castle, taking my time and gazing out upon the busy village as everyone worked for my parents. Everyone seemed content today, which was good, though I somehow felt like it could be better. I wished to make things better for the peasants, once I was Queen. There were some decent people amongst them, like Brian, who deserved better. I rode into the stables where the stable hands were busy cleaning and taking care of the horses, some riding them around for exercise. I dismounted and petted my beautiful mare before feeding her a part of an apple.

“I am going to win this… I am going to find love, no matter what it takes…” I whispered to her as she munched loudly. I knew she was listening to me, though. She always had and always understood. I sighed as she finished eating and I pressed my forehead against her head, closing my eyes and listening to her soothing breathing noises. I wished I was a horse. That way, I would not have to worry about this complicated lifestyle. I could just be free and happy…