Gentlemen Don't Ask Questions

My brain went into a frenzy that night, not wanting to forget any of this ever. It's crazy the stupid little things I still remember from that night. I remember that A Light That Never Goes Out was playing softly on her radio, that a dog-eared copy of Jane Eyre was on her night stand and a car alarm was going off outside her window. I didn't want to forget one single detail.
I thought I would have felt nervous, I had absolutely no experience whatsoever, but all I felt was excitement. Isabelle always put me at ease, always made me feel like it was okay to by myself, even back in the days when I was desperately trying to shake off those awkward teenage blues.
She pulled away from me, her cheeks pink and her eyes glistening.

"I've never done anything like this before," she mumbled, her eyes not quite meeting mine.

"Me neither."

"I feel nervous. Do you?"

"Kinda."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

I couldn't help but exhale a quick laugh, it being a rare occasion that I was more confident than her. I kissed her again, pushing her back into the mattress as I rested my weight on my right elbow. My other hand trailed down her midriff, my fingers hooking under the material of her dress and tugging it down further. I pulled away and sat back on my knees so that I could tug her dress down her legs, hoping all the while that she didn't notice how my hands were starting to shake. I could hear her breathing getting heavier, making me grow anxious.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, though her eyes were slightly wide and her demeanor was tense. It put me on edge, seeing her looking so unsure of herself.

"Isabelle, if you want to stop just say so."

"When have I been known to not say what I'm thinking?" she let out a breathy laugh,
"I want to do this. I'm just nervous."

I tweaked my lips, knowing I had to make this good for her. As selfish as it sounds, I didn't want her looking back five, ten, twenty years from now and forever remembering this night as a big mistake, cringing whenever she thought of me.
My eyes scanned her body and every dirty, sexual thought left my mind for a few seconds, simply absorbing the sight of her and storing it away in the back of my mind.

"I think you're really beautiful," I mumbled, making her cheeks darken even more.

I went back to kissing her, my hands gently running up and down her sides as she started working on my belt, the material starting to strain. Once she removed my belt and pulled down my zipper, I moved back and quickly tugged my jeans off, leaving the both of us in our underwear. She seemed a little more relaxed as I moved back on top of her, slowly inching my hand down along her stomach until I reached the lace lining of her black panties.

"Can I keep going?"

"You don't need to ask me for permission, Gerard," she whispered, her green eyes locking onto mine.

Her breath hitched when I dipped my fingertips into her panties, her eyes fluttered closed when I moved my mouth to her neck. I moved my index along her slit and I had to bite back a groan when I felt how wet she was. I could feel her tensing slightly underneath me, her breathing growing heavier as I slid my finger down her length until I reached her entrance. Her hands flew up to my shoulders and gripped me tightly as I slowly edged my finger inside of her, her walls instantly clamping around me. To say she was tight was an understatement, and I kept that in mind as I slowly worked my hand. A little part of me was aware that maybe she wasn't enjoying this, but then a light moan danced off her lips, forcing me to look at her face. Her eyes were still closed, her mouth parted slightly and her cheeks pink. That image of her fueled my own arousal and I had to exert every ounce of will power I had not to act like a neanderthal and just take her then and there.
I moved my thumb up and gently rubbed it against her clit as I continued to slip my finger in and out of her, making her groan my name and rock her hips. I kissed along her jawline, trying to keep my focus on her as she let out more and more gasps before she tensed, her walls tightening around my fingers, and I knew she had came.
I slowly moved my hand out of her panties and her eyes fluttered open. She looked dazed, like she hadn't a clue where she was, before she gave me that small half smile of hers.

"I've never...done that before," she spoke slowly, and I could feel a smirk slowly creeping up my face as her face grew redder and redder,
"I've never had an orgasm before."

I felt like Christopher Columbus stomping on new land, I wanted a Goddamn history book written. If I could have patted myself on the back, I would have.

"You're okay with doing all of this?" I asked gently as I pecked her lips.

She nodded as she kissed me back, her hands snaking around my neck and pulling me closer to her. Cemetery Gates started playing, and The Queen Is Dead will forever remain one of my favourite albums because of that night.
We kissed until the cassette stopped playing, and I had to get up and rewind it. I clambered back onto the bed, moving back down beside her and kissing her.

"Do you have a condom?" she asked quietly, and I thought I was going to vomit because of those damn butterflies in my stomach.

I nodded, swallowing thickly when she bit down on her bottom lip and gave me a look that said she was ready. I pulled my wallet out of my jeans pocket before I threw them back on the ground, and took out a condom before letting my wallet join the rest of my clothes. She pulled the bedsheets back and got under them, and I joined her before I slipped my boxers off.
Her eyes widened slightly, before she quickly looked away, making me smile.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure," she looked up at me, twirling a strand of hair nervously around her index,
"I'm just unsure about....y'know...how that's going to work," her eyes flickered down to my dick again.

"Have any of your friends had sex yet?"

"A couple of them have since I left California...Megan says it hurts..."

"It will, but it should get better."

She looked uncertain, and I was starting to prepare myself for disappointment, before she smiled and told me that she wanted to do this. I carefully tore the wrapper off and rolled the condom down my length, before positioning myself between her legs and pulling her panties off. I moved all of my weight onto my elbows as I lined myself against her entrance, all the while watching her face for any sign of uncertainty, but she looked nothing but calm.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded, moving her hands up to my shoulder and reaching her head up to kiss me gently.

"If you want me to stop at all, just say."

She didn't reply, she merely rested her head back against her pillow and locked her eyes with mine. I noticed her holding her breath as I cluelessly fumbled for a few seconds, trying to move into her; I don't think it could have been any more obvious how much of a novice I was, but I wasn't embarrassed. Never with Isabelle.
I finally broke ground, pushing into her in a jerky movement that caused her to exhale heavily as her fingernails dug into my skin.

"Sorry," I breathed out, and she just gently shook her head and closed her eyes over.

I slowly moved all the way into her, she was like a vice, her nails still digging into my shoulders and still holding her breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked nervously once I was all the way in.

Her green eyes fluttered open and she tweaked her lips.

"It pinches," she whispered.

I swallowed thickly, before asking her if she wanted to stop.

"I want to do this. Just go slow."

I gently started moving, trying to keep my thrusts as smooth and slow as possible, while wracking my brain trying to think of how I could give her some form of pleasure while loosening her up. I kissed along her jawline, stalling longer over the spot under her ear lobe that she liked. I felt a wetness against my cheek, and pulled my face away to see that she was crying.

"I'm sorry," I started to panic as I stopped, but she just sniffed and smiled.

"It's okay, Gerard. I just didn't expect it to feel like this."

"If you want me to-"

"I'll tell you if I want you to stop. You don't need to keep asking me."

I once again started moving, trying to keep it slow, and she stopped crying after a few minutes. I rested my head against her neck as I felt that white hot ball of pleasure building up in the pit of my stomach, my arousal being spurred on by Isabelle's groans.

"Are you okay?" I mumbled against her neck.

"Yes," she exhaled, her hands gripping me tighter as she squeezed her legs around my waist.

I don't think I would have been able to stop myself even if I wanted to, but I quickly climaxed a few minutes later, her name falling off my lips over and over again like a chant. She still clung to me as I tried to gather myself, before I finally moved off of her and got rid of the condom. I laid back down beside her, terrified of what her reaction would be, but all she did was smile and pull me in for a kiss.

"You didn't...finish, did you?"

She shook her head no, but she was still smiling.

"That was a lot better than what I thought it would have been."

I grinned like a fool, pulling her closer to me and kissing her temple.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. I'm glad we did this," she murmured as she trailed spirals along my shoulder with her index.

I closed my eyes over, exhaustion washing over me and feeling nothing but content with Isabelle lying in my arms.