I Never Told You That I Can't Take Another Disappointment

I whispered while shaking my head,” Save it for someone who cares.”

Just in time, we were able to go out on the stage. I twirled one of my drum sticks in my hand and gave him one final disappointed look and headed on stage. The crowd began to scream louder as they could see my shadow head towards the drum set. I sat on the black seat and held my drumsticks in the air in the shape of an X. I vaguely saw the rest of the band come on stage.

Zacky began playing Unholy Confessions. So I followed along. Every once in a while I could feel Zacky’s eyes on me but I kept my eyes on the drum set or on the crowd. I wasn’t about to let something mess with my job. I was here to drum not get involved with people. I should have followed that the moment I opened my door to him.

I was going to be strong about this but I wasn’t going to be nice. I let all my thoughts drift away after the first two songs so I could just play with my heart.

I was the first one off the stage and darting to the bus. I climbed up to my bunk and closed the curtain so wouldn’t be bothered. I heard the guys climb onto the bus. I heard footsteps to the bunking area and then I heard a soft whispered,” Lex, are you awake?”

I didn’t answer and I steadied my breathing to seem like I was sleeping. Then the footsteps walked back off the bus. I laid there in the darkness for what it seemed like forever, until my phone went off. I adjusted my eyes sight to the bright light coming from my phone. It was Ben. I hadn’t given him my number since the tour started. Then I remembered that I hadn’t changed my number in hopes of him one day getting in contact with me. That meant he had kept my number all these years…

The text asked whether I was okay and he had heard from Cameron that I stormed out. I guess he wasn’t there for the revealing of the fact that Zacky had a Fiancé the whole time. I didn’t answer for like ten minutes and then another text from Ben came in. It said that he was coming to the bus to come and get me.

I literally jumped out of the bunk hoping that my ears hadn’t played tricks on me. Luckily no one was on the bus except for me. I grabbed a change of clothes just in case I stayed on his bus. Look at me planning ahead like I knew what was going to happen. Sometimes I wondered whether I was still fully there.

I put my phone in my back pocket and then stepped out of the bus just as Ben was about to knock. Embarrassed that I had almost hit him with the door, I blushed,” Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were already here.”

He asked,” Are you okay?”

I shrugged,” I guess.”

He frowned,” I know there is something wrong. I can see it in your eyes.”

I bluntly proclaimed,” Zacky was engaged the whole time.”

He looked at the ground and scratched his head. This was probably an awkward conversation for him. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes. I brushed my bangs away from my face and stared straight ahead.

He opened the door to his bus and surprisingly his was just as empty as mine. I trudged up the steps and sat down at the booth inside the bus. He crossed his arms and leaned against the other table across from me. I sniffed and then I broke.

I mumbled,” The first person I decide to trust since you isn’t even trustworthy. I have the worse judgment.”

I felt a tear fall and I quickly scrambled to wipe it away. He unfolded his arms and scooted to sit next to me. He pulled me closer to his chest and let me cry on his shoulder. His voice shook as he stated,” You don’t have the worse judgment, Alexandria. That’s the best thing about you. You see the good in everyone but unfortunately people take advantage of that.”