I Never Told You That I Can't Take Another Disappointment

December 7, 2011; Duluth MN:

Ben and I had pretty much picked up where we left off. We spent that whole night in November catching up on literally everything. There wasn’t one thing we left out. He had come out about doing drugs sometimes and sleeping with groupies. His life had changed more than mine. I lived the same way just with more drive. That night, the honesty proved to me that he was still trying.
James, Christian Coma, and I were being featured in Alternative Press Magazine so before the show tonight we were heading over to a studio to do a photo shoot and an interview.

Ben pulled me into his grasp when I got onto the Asking Alexandria bus to get James. Danny took a swig of Jack Daniels and sighed,” You two need to get a room.”

Ben smirked,” Hey asshole, would you want to lose the big bed in the back then?”

Danny laughed,” Yeah, no. Continue on you horny motherfuckers.”

I shook my head and laughed as I sat on Ben’s knee. I shouted,” James you take longer to get ready then I do!”

James popped his head out of the bathroom,” I got to look good Alexandria, sorry.”

I rolled my eyes and twirled my curled hair in between my fingers. Ben whispered in my ear,” You look extravagant.”

I laughed at the use of a big word. I replied, “Thanks Ben.”

James was finally ready and CC finally knocked on the door. I gave Ben a small kiss and left with the two guys. We took a black car to the studio and were escorted to the where the photo shoot would be at. There was an all black drum set and three sets of drum sticks laying there for us.

The interview was about finding out more about me but then they somehow added something for James and CC. I guess it was a good way to get me more noticed. But otherwise I’ve never been interviewed before. The photo shoot was easy because I’ve had those before. Somehow I was able to get through the interview smoothly. The article would be in their next issue which was the first 2012 magazine out.

I got back to the venue and the manager handed me a black jacket with fur on the hood as I was about to go outside. Apparently the forecast was showing snow in a couple hours. Minnesota was definitely cold. But it was nothing that I wasn’t used to. It got really cold in London during the winter.

I’ve tried to keep my distance from Zacky. Besides the fact that we have to share buses and the stage, I’ve spent most of my time with the guys from AA. I couldn’t tell whether he was guilty or sorry. I talked to him if I had to but other than that I didn’t really speak to him. It sucked because I thought he was a great friend but it was true, I didn’t know a lot about him.

I was sitting on the railing out on the side of the Venue when the door opened. I half expected it to be Danny since he seemed to be smoking a lot more. But if it wasn’t him I knew he was fretting about the cold weather. I was about to make a joke towards Danny when I turned my head to see Zacky with his hands in his pockets. I had two choices. Get up and leave without saying a word or I could just get this whole thing over with.

Zacky cleared his throat like I wasn’t aware of his presence. I rolled my eyes but turned my head in his direction once again. His lips formed a small smile but his eyes didn’t meet mine. There was one question I wanted to know the answer to. I blurted,” So long was it going to take you to stop messing with my emotions and just tell me you were engaged?”