I Can't Forget What You've Forgotten

Zacky inwardly groaned to himself and slowly went back into the hotel room. He wanted to try his best in avoiding Matt but since they were staying in the same room, it was nearly impossible. He'd have to just ignore him- avoid conversation, eye contact, close physical contact. It'd be too awkward for him, especially after the talk Matt had given him. He couldn't face him after denying everything from before. Deep down, he knew that Matt was right, but on the surface, he couldn't believe it to be true. He wouldn't.

He wasn't really taking advantage of her, was he?

Inside, Matt was nowhere to be found. Zack let out a sigh of relief and ventured further in to where the beds were. Jimmy was now flipping through channels on the television slowly, Cassie was giving him strange looks that sent a feeling of awkwardness to run through his body, and Kristy was doing what looked like texting on her cell phone. He went over and sat beside her, a leg dangling over the edge of the bed. He looked down at what she was doing and she looked up to flash him a smile before looking back down at her phone.

"Do you wanna go out today?" he asked her. They still had at least six hours before they had to report back to the venue to do sound check. Hewanted needed to get away, so he figured that he'd spend it out and about with her.

"Sure," she nodded, putting her phone away, "When and where?"

"I was thinking now, if you're ready, and just out around the city," he replied and looked at her expectantly.

She nodded enthusiastically and got up to slip on her shoes. She went back over to the small kitchen-like area, getting her small black purse which contained her phone, wallet, and an extra key card to their room. Walking back to the small hallway, she found Zack waiting for her, his sunglasses already covering his green eyes. She linked her arm through his and he led her out into the actual hallway. Slowly, his hands slipped down to hold hers, lacing their fingers.

Everything then seemed perfect.

This is how it was meant to be, he thought to himself.

Kristy fumbled with the room key card and swiped it through the slot, rushing for the red light to quickly turn green before she ran through the door, squealing with laughter. Brian chased after her, ignoring the open door to his room. She dove onto one of the beds on her side and curled into a fetal position, trying as best as she could to shield herself. The room was instantly filled with laughter as Brian's fingers attacked her with much effort.

Zack smiled and shook his head to himself, walking over to his bag and pulling out a pair of clean clothes. They were still in a wrestling mode when he walked past them and into the bathroom, where he decided to take a shower and wash himself clean of all sweat after playing a show.

The show had consisted of minimal contact between Zack and Matt; they were both focused on playing out their roles onstage. He knew that that morning's conversation was already past Matt, but he couldn't face it. He still couldn't look at Matt without a certain emotion running through him, a sort of pity and shame for himself. Embarrassment partially played a role.

By the time that he had finished, the bedroom outside his door was silent. Everyone had fallen asleep except for Cassie, who was laying in bed next to Jimmy's unconscious body, staring at her cell phone. Zack went and threw his clothes in a corner of the room before sitting down on the bed next to Kristy. He stared at her sleeping body for a short while, studying her face and watching her even breathing.

Before long, an awkward feeling took over him and he looked over at Cassie. She quickly fixed her gaze back on her phone as though that was object she was staring at for the past five minutes; she had hoped that he didn't see her. She quickly ended whatever application was open on her phone and placed it under her pillow, turning over on her side and closing her eyes. She tried to focus on the warmth radiating off of the body beside her and relax her body.

Zack let out a quiet sigh to himself and reached over to turn off the night lamp, allowing darkness to take control of the room. He shifted to a laying position and pulled the many layers of blankets over his body, careful not to wake Kristy. It must have been at least an hour before his eyes drifted closed and he slipped into a light sleep.

He was the first one up the next morning, Zack, having such limited rest throughout the night. It was only seven a.m., so he decided to stay in bed until everyone else got up, taking the time to enjoy the silence to himself. He turned over on his side and placed an arm across Kristy's waist. Her eyes were still closed, breathing lightly and hand twitching on occasion.

Placing his other arm underneath his head, he resumed back to studying her face like he did the previous night, with the exception of no one watching over his every move. His green eyes scanned over the soft skin that covered up the contours of her face, her hazel eyes hidden behind closed eyelids. He wiped away some of the hair that was covering part of her innocent face, her far-too-innocent face that doesn't know half of her own life story.

A million thoughts were running through his head, tugging at his brain one direction to the other. They were words that came out of Matt's mouth, words that flew out of his mouth. All the words spoken yesterday, and words that Kristy had spoke, questions and answers.

As they walked hand in hand through a small plaza a few blocks away from the hotel, Kristy snuck a few glances into stores as they passed by them. She gushed when puppies jumped at her through the glass, laughed when people working out in a fitness facility was visible, and gasped at cute outfits displayed on window mannequins.

During one particular time, she stopped in front of a formal wear store and gazed at a black sequined dress in a corner window. Her hand still gripped onto Zack's as she stared in awe at the breath-taking dress. Her eyes held a certain sparkle in them as she spoke. "Can you tell me something, Zack?" she asked him and he shot the side of her face a questioning look.

"What is it?" he asked her carefully.

"Did we ever go to prom?" She turned her head to look at him. She knew for a definite fact that she had dated this man once back in high school. A look crossed his face that she couldn't quite read.

He swallowed a lump down his throat and nodded with a smile. "Sure did," he replied. His heart was racing and he was hoping that she couldn't feel it through the veins that ran through the palm of his hands.

She smiled brightly. "Were my parents those cliché parents you see on those stupid TV shows?" Her brows slightly furrowed with humor.

A moment of hesitation arose in him before it quickly faded away. "Totally." He rolled his eyes for added effect but he knew that if the conversation continued, anxiety would've began to slowly kill him from the inside out.

Maybe he should've changed the subject the moment it came up- make an excuse that he really needed to be somewhere else- or maybe he should've just flat-out told her the truth, right then and there, or at least some time later in that day. But he didn't, and the guilt was beginning to eat away. He knew it was wrong to lie to her, to lie about something that was such a big part of her life.

Her parents. How could he have lied to her about them? If anything, she should've deserved to know the truth about them instead of believing, so easily, in a hope that she could still go home and visit them. What would he do then, if she asked to see them? Was he supposed to make up another stupid lie that wouldn't be worth said in the first place?

What if the rest of their relationship was based on lies upon more lies?

She would never know, but the fact of the matter is that he knows, and so does everyone else around her.

How could he have fucked up every chance he's had with her, every relationship and every moment?