I Can't Forget What You've Forgotten

She began to whisper harshly in fear of the band hearing her and about our little 'situation'. "Why didn't you just tell him?"

I uncomfortably shifted in my seat, trying to focus on the road ahead of me. "Because, I don't want to."

"That's not a good reason," she scolded.

I sighed. There was no use in avoiding the question with her. "The tour hasn't even started yet. Do you know how awkward it would be if I told him now?" I asked her back.

"What could even happen?" she asked, not thinking of all the negatives that could - will - happen.

"Well, for one," I lowered my voice. "It'd be awkward to spend almost every moment of this tour on the same bus with your ex-boyfriend who you moved away from and haven't seen in years and who knows almost everything about your past. And it'd get tiring just hearing him try to apologize and work things out all the time --"

"And how do you know if he'll do that?" she asked me skeptically.

"I've known him my whole life Cassie," I said smartly with an attitude.

"Just tell him already, please?" she begged and my anger nearly raised once again.

"No! Why can't he figure it out by himself?" I yelled, forgetting to keep my voice down and I heard Brian's voice in the little doorway.

"Let who figure what out?" he asked, holding onto the 'door' frame.

Cassie opened her mouth but I quickly covered it up before she could say anything. "Nothing - just - it's nothing Brian." I looked back at him and gave him an innocent smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Why wouldn't I be sure?"

"'Cause you're acting weird."

"When am I normally civilized?"

"When you're doing business."

"Do you have the answers to everything?" Cassie spoke up, tilting her head back to look at him.

He smirked. "Mostly everything."

"Oh yeah?" She challenged him. "Then who's my current infatuation?"

His smirk grew bigger. "Jimmy," was all he had to say and she gasped, looking slightly bothered.

I procrastinated telling Zacky and a few weeks later, I still have yet to tell him. Cassie's still nagging at me about not telling him but as for her, she still hasn't "confessed her undying love" to Jimmy yet and Brian's been teasing her for it.

I'm now in a dressing room with Zacky and Matt, watching them get ready before the show started. Zacky and I had become closer throughout the weeks - along with the guys too but mostly Zacky - and it was almost like the time we first met. We got to know each other more, becoming almost inseparable, and knew almost every detail about each other - except, until this day, he still wonders where he has seen me before.

I still go and pretend to say that I have never met him nor talked to him before until the first day at the tour meeting.

" - Man, he totally likes her," I heard Matt say as I zoned back into what we - meaning him and Zacky - were talking about.

"Really?" Zacky tightened his tie. "How do you know?"

"How can you not tell?"

"Well, sorry if I'm no love expert, Dr. Love." Zacky rolled his eyes, leaving his tie alone.

"That's Mister Love to you." Matt placed on his aviator shades. "Imma go talk to Syn. See ya on stage." He patted Zacky on the shoulder and walked out, but not before giving me a little squeeze on the side which left me giggling and jumping away from him, clutching on to my side to prevent him from poking it anymore.

It was only Zacky and I now, and a silence took over. He began to apply eyeliner and his usual makeup on to his face, his bandana already fixed into place on his head. The sight reminded me of when we were young and I was over at his house before we left to school together. I would stand off to one side of the room, mostly either on his bed, a chair, or leaning against the opposite wall facing the mirror like I am now, and watch him in the mirror as he began to apply his daily dose.

We were fifteen - nearly sixteen now and school started in half an hour. I was over at his house like I was any morning since we always walked to school together - ever since we were old enough to walk by ourselves in the beginning of middle school. His mother was downstairs, fixing herself up some breakfast, seeing as how we finished ours.

"What are you staring at?" he chuckled, still applying eyeliner around his eyes.

I smiled back in reply. "Staring at your reflection, boy."

"What's so special about my reflection? Why don't you sit down on the bed?"

"I don't mind standing and staring at your special reflection." I laughed. "It makes you look sexier than you really are."

He put the eye pencil down in fake shock. "What's that supposed to mean, huh missy? Do I need to carry a mirror around with me now?"

"No." I shook my head. "Because then girls would be all over you and i don't want that to happen." I pouted and he came over, placing his hands on my hips and gazing down at me.

"Nah that's impossible." He kissed my head. "None of those girl will ever be special like you." He bent his knees slightly and leaned down to kiss me on the lips but I moved my head so that it was directed to my cheek. "Hey, that's not nice." He pouted back at me.

A knock came on the door and we soon heard his brother shout at us through the door. "Hey you two; get out here! We gotta leave."

We both sighed with a smile on our face and departed but laced our hands together. He opened the door for me and I walked out with him following behind me to the front door.

"Bye guys!" his mother shouted to us as his brother, sister, him and I left for school.

"Bye Mrs. Baker!" I shouted back while the others replaced her name with 'mom'.

We walked down the street, hand in hand, and walking behind the other two. We talked on and on about what was to expected later in the day; about our lives and repeating old memories that held special meanings to us.

"What are you staring at?" Zacky laughed, pulling me out of my mini-flashback and making me shake my head to clear the images.

"What?" I asked, still in a sort of daze.

"You were kind of staring off in one spot and didn't blink at all." He faced me, laughing. "Daydreaming now, were you?"

"No."

"Don't lie; you know you dig me." He pointed to himself.

"I-I don't," I lied, feeling the heat rise to myself. I'm just thankful right now that half of my hair was red enough for it to blend in.

"Then what were you doing?"

I hesitated. "I was. . .having a flashback of a memory. . ."

"What's it about?" he asked kindly, expecting me to tell him since - for the past two weeks - we told each other almost everything.

". . . Something."

"You hesitated," he stated the obvious. "What is it?"

"I-It's nothing." I shook my head, standing up straight.

"Bullshit. Now tell me." He started to bring out the puppy eyes. "Pretty please?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Maybe some other time."

"Get your ass out there Zack." Johnny stuck his head in and signaled with his hand for Zacky to come out. He nodded and walked to the door but stopping in front of me.

"I won't forget about this," he jokingly threatened me, doing the eye to eye thing with his hand, faking a glare at me and walked out, leaving me behind to laugh to myself. I sighed and walked over to the couch, sitting down and slouching over to bury my face in my hands.

Someone always interrupts whenever this comes up - but yet, shouldn't I be happy? I get to avoid the subject, but then it'll only stretch out further and only for so long until it comes back to me again and to the point where I have to tell him.

What will I ever do?