Manage Me

“Alex, why did a girl just show up at my house claiming to be my new maid?” I asked my best friend through gritted teeth.

“Because your house is disgusting, bro. Ever since Holly dumped you, you’ve been a mess. You hardly ever leave the house except for practice and meetings, you don’t shower, or do laundry, and you hardly ever eat.” His voice crackled through my phone.

“Holly didn’t dump me. It was a mutual –” I hissed.

“Yeah, yeah.” He interrupted me. “Look, we all know that she dumped you. And we feel for you, dude. We’ve all been there. You remember when Kara dumped Rian. It was tough, but he moved forward. You’re not moving forward.”

“And you think some chick with a duster and apron is going to help?”

“Well, it can’t hurt. She’s already been paid for the week. Just let her clean your house. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the band. We want our old Jack back. And we don’t want to have to wear biohazard suits just to visit.”

The line went dead as he hung up. I pulled on my greasy hair out of frustration. I was fine. I didn’t need someone to clean my house. There was nothing wrong with it and there was nothing wrong with me. I heard someone clear their throat and looked at the girl standing in front of me. She was short. Not only that, she was tiny. Every feature look miniature. She was wearing leggings and a loose fitting tank top. She had an tennis shoes and an apron with some kind of writing on it. I noticed she was carrying a basket with cleaning supplies. Her hair was tied up in a sloppy bun, a few strands falling into her face. She was biting her lip.

“Uhm, I can leave if you want…” She trailed off, meeting my eyes.

I sighed. Alex was right. My house was pretty disgusting. And if she had already been paid, I might as well use her.

“No. Come in.”

She scurried inside. I watched her pull out some little blue booties and place them over her sneakers. She secured the apron and pulled a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves on. They were obviously too big for her, but she just pulled out some hair-ties and used them to secure the gloves to her forearms.

“Where would you like me to start, Mr. Barakat?” She smiled.

“I guess wherever. Would you like me to give you a tour of the house?” I asked awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck.

“Sure.”

I bobbed my head and walked forward, listening to her light footfall behind me.

“This is the entrance, obviously. Over there is the kitchen.” I pointed to the room at my left. “It connects to the dining room.” I pointed to the room next to it. “They both connect to the living room. Well, everything connects to the living room.” I said as we entered the massive room. “There’s a bathroom over there. And upstairs is my room, the guest room and another bathroom. There is also a washer and dryer in the hallway closet up there.”

Though I have no fucking clue how to use it. I thought.

She continued to nod as I pointed out each room. As I walked with her, I realized just how gross my house actually was. When had this happened? I mean, I was never really one for cleaning. And I had spent a lot of time at Holly’s house. But this was too much. There was clothing everywhere as well as empty or half-eaten take out boxes. Beer bottles were strewn everywhere. I hadn’t used the dining room in months, in fact the table was completely buried under mail and pizza boxes. I didn’t own a vacuum or mop. I didn’t even own a fucking broom. I rubbed my chin, just now realizing how stubbly it was. We had completed a circle back to the entry way.

“So yeah…that’s my house.” I shrugged awkwardly.

She nodded.

“Oh, and there is a pool out back. And a pool house.”

Another nod.

“Well. I’m gonna go out for a bit.” I said as I tugged my shoes on.

“Alright, Mr. Barakat.” She smiled softly.

I walked out the door as she turned and entered the kitchen. I felt kinda bad for her. She was definitely going to have her work cut out for her.