Manage Me

The first thing I was aware of the next morning was the fact that my head felt like it had been driven over by a semi truck. Seconds after I made this discovery I realized not only was I not in my own bed, I was also naked and there was someone lying next to me. I was slightly mortified. I didn’t do this sort of thing. I wasn’t that girl that went to clubs, got drunk and then hooked up with strangers. I slowly shifted my weight and got out of the bed. I had to get out of there and fast. I located my dress, necklace and heels. My bra was laying on the bed and I grabbed it as fast as possible. That was when I caught sight of the mystery man’s face. I almost screamed. It was Jack. I had sex with Jack Barakat. I had sex with Jack Barakat! This was bad. This was really, really bad. I threw my dress on as fast as possible and practically ran out of his bedroom. I moved soundlessly down the stairs and out the front door. Luckily I had found my phone next to my dress and I quickly dialed Lily’s number.

“Fucking hell, Katie, it’s like 9:00 in the morning!” Her voice was groggy and I knew I had woke her up. At this point in time, however, I didn’t give a flying fuck.

“Get your ass out of bed and come get me right now.”

“Woah there babycakes, what’s wrong?”

I heard her moving around, no doubt attempting to pull herself together. I knew the tone in my voice made it quite clear something was wrong. I was trying to get my bearings, the hangover hindering me in the sunlight. I realized I was about two blocks away from the park I sometimes went to with Kade and headed that way.

“Pick me up at the park.”

I didn’t give her a chance to respond before I hung up the phone. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Fucking Lily. Fucking vodka shots and Long Island Iced Teas. Fucking fuck fuck.

My memory slowly started coming back to me as I walked. I remembered the look in his eyes when I saw him from the end of the bar. I remembered the feel of his hands on my hips and the way I had slipped them farther down. I remembered what I had whispered in his ear and how immediately he had responded to it. But, most of all, I remembered the feel of his lips on mine. The feel of his hands all over me. The feel of our bodies intertwined so completely. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I had liked it. I shook my head. My thoughts had turned dangerous and I had to get rid of them.

I made it to the park and sank into the nearest swing. I pushed myself back and forth with my big toe as I waited for Lily. I thought about Kade. Being here brought back too many memories and tears pricked at my eyes. I could almost hear him laughing and squealing as I chased him through the jungle gym. I sighed, letting a few tears fall. It had been so long since I had seen him. My mother did everything in her power to keep me away. It wasn’t fair but I didn’t get a say in it. I heard a horn honk and looked up to see Lily waving at me. She saw my tears and gathered me into a hug as soon as I was near the car. I refused to let myself go on a real crying jag, however, so she released me and I climbed in the car.

“Well you look like hell.” She finally said. I buried my head in my hands.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sweetie, it’s me.” I sighed.

“IkindasortasleptwithJacklastnight.” I rushed out.

“Katie, I don’t have supersonic ears.” She scolded. I sighed again and took a deep breath.

“I kinda sorta slept with Jack last night…”

The car came to a screeching halt, my seatbelt restricting me from slamming into the dashboard. I looked over at Lily to ask her if she was crazy, but her face was so shocked I couldn’t.

“As in Jack Barakat?”

I nodded.

“As in the Jack Barakat that you are currently working for?”

I nodded again, biting my lip.

“Shit.” She breathed out, running a hand through her long hair.

“I know.”

She eased off of the brake. We were both silent for the rest of the ride back to my apartment. I expected Lily to just drop me off, but instead she parked the car and got out with me. I grabbed the spare key from my landlord, seeing as I was pretty sure mine was on the floor of Jack’s room. She eyed me reproachfully, taking in my knotted hair and outfit that she had seen me leave in last night. I coughed awkwardly and she handed the key over. I gave her a tense smile and rushed out the door. Judgmental as she was, she kept my rent cheap and I wasn’t about to say anything that might change that.

I met Lily outside of my door three floors up. We entered the apartment and I immediately dropped myself onto my bed. Lily left me and walked to the kitchenette, my eyes following her. She filled two mugs with water and stuck them in the microwave before dropping in the tea bags and joining me. I pulled myself into a sitting position and took the mug she offered me. Neither one of us said anything for a few moments. Finally, Lily turned to me.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, Lil.” I sighed, pulling the mug closer to my chest. “I’ve already been paid for the week, so technically I could just stop going. But I don’t want him calling the agency.”

“Maybe he won’t remember.” She offered.

I glanced at my best friend, a smile breaking out on my face. Knowing Jack, he was probably drunk off his ass last night. I hadn’t realized who he was, and seeing as he never called me by name and he was the one that made the first move, he probably hadn’t realized who I was either.

“Have I ever told you how much I freaking love you?”

She laughed and pulled me close. I let myself melt into my best friend. She was like my other half. I had no idea what I would do without her. I released her and smiled.

“When do you have to go over?”

“1:30.” I responded, glancing at the clock on the microwave.

Lily followed my gaze and grinned. It was only 10:00, and I knew she was formulating a plan inside of her crazy little brain. She ran to my clothing rack and started pulling an outfit together.

“Lily, what are we doing?” I questioned.

“Get in the shower, miss.” She responded without looking at me. “You’ve got 20 minutes.” She stated when she didn’t hear me moving.

I chuckled but hurried into the bathroom. Lily definitely wouldn’t hesitate to drag me out of the shower if she felt I was taking too long. I finished washing off the previous night’s events in 15 minutes flat and applied some light make-up. I walked out of the bathroom and Lily pushed an outfit at me. I pulled it on without complaint and she grabbed my arm.

“Lily, please tell me what we’re doing?”

She pushed me into the car and then moved into the driver’s seat. She was practically bursting with excitement.

“We’re going thrifting!” She finally sang out.

I suppressed a squeal of excitement. Thrift stores were like a little slice of heaven. Not only were the clothes affordable on my budget, but Lily was a freaking master when it came to thrifting. If it hadn’t been for her, I wouldn’t have the most comfortable Converse in existence or a pair of 7 For All Mankind jeans that made my ass look like it belonged to J. Lo.

Lily and I spent close to two hours shopping around Brand Spanking Used and she managed to find me a pair of white Minnetonka moccasins for $3, several vintage men’s sweatshirts and a high waisted skirt. I also found a pair of Converse that would fit Kade and a Tonka truck. I only spent $26 and was attacking Lily with kisses and hugs by the time we left.

“I take it you’re feeling better about your romp with the boss then?” She waggled her eyebrows.

I giggled and shoved her away as we got in her car. She just winked. I wasn’t ready to admit it quite yet, but to be honest, Jack was hot. Even when he opened the door that first day with greasy hair and stained clothing, I had thought he was hot. Hiding under all that filth was an extremely attractive man. After I had gotten over my initial horror at the situation, a small part of me was kinda happy. It definitely could have been worse.

Lily turned to me as she pulled onto the main road and headed towards Spoons. I could see the glint of mischievous in her eyes and groaned internally. I knew she was about to start the interrogation, but I wasn’t quite ready for it. Lily was ruthless. She knew me almost better than I knew myself and was not going to let up until she got me to admit what was going on in my brain.

“So my darling little Katiekins, just how was your night with Mr. Barakat?” I sighed.

“Honestly, Lil, I don’t really remember a lot of it.”

“Oh come on. You can’t have had sex for the first time in five months and not remember it.”

I glared at her. She shrugged. That was the other thing about Lily. She didn’t have a filter, especially when it came to me.

“Okay…So it was possibly some of the best sex of my life…”

She squealed and grabbed my hand. We had parked by now and she was ushering me inside of the building. We grabbed our salads and a table by the windows, away from the other people.

“It doesn’t matter though. He’s my boss and there is no way I can jeopardize that.”

“He’s only your boss for the next few days though, love. Why couldn’t there be something more?”

“Lily, you realize you’re making no sense right now. Just a few hours ago we were praying he wouldn’t even remember and now you’re wanting me to actually try and have a relationship with him?” She pursed her lips.

“Not exactly. I mean, yeah maybe it’s for the better that he doesn’t remember last night, but I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe it could be for the better if he does. I mean, you’ve already been paid for the week so the worst thing that could happen is that you get fired and you move on to the next job. But –” She saw me open my mouth and continued quickly before I could say anything. “But I think that this could be a good thing.”

“How could this possibly be a good thing?!”

“He could be good for you and Kade. He could be there for you and –”

“Are you trying to say that I should use him for his money?”

“Not at all, doll. You know I would never say that. But, I know you. And I know you don’t sleep around. And I know deep down in that big ole heart of yours, you like him. At least a little bit. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have hooked up with him. Even in your drunken haze something in that pretty little brain of yours recognized him. Maybe you should give it a try.”

“Lily, he’s a mess. I mean like not just his house, he’s like a completely messed up person.”

“Katie, sweetheart, I hate to tell you this, but…you’re kind of a mess too.”

I met my best friend’s eyes and I knew she wasn’t trying to hurt me. She was just being honest. I am a mess. I’ve been a mess for a while. Hell, I’ve been a mess for the past 4 years.

“I think you could be really good for each other.” She whispered, placing her hand over mine. I checked my phone to avoid her and noticed that it was 1:15.

“Fuck, I have to be at work in 15 minutes!”

“Oh, don’t worry, I put your supplies in the back of my car. I’ll just drop you off.” I noticed there was trouble brewing in her dark eyes again.

“I’m not even dressed.”

“You could always just go in that outfit. The shorts are comfortable enough and you’ve already got your shoes on.” She suggested innocently.

I stared her down. She just widened her eyes at me and sipped on her Dr. Pepper. I stood and walked out to the car. I heard her laugh and follow me out. I climbed in the car and crossed my arms across my chest.

“You look exactly like Kade when you do that.”

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face when she said that. We pulled up outside of the house I had left just a few hours ago and she pulled me in to kiss my temple.

“Love you, Katiekins.” She smiled.

I stepped out of the car and dug my supplies out of the back. I left my shopping bags in the passenger seat. I smiled back at her and closed the door before walking up to the front door. I knocked and faintly heard Lily’s window roll down from behind me.

“NICE ASS!” She called out. I whipped around and caught her winking.

“FUCK OFF!”

She let out a peal of laughter. Normally, I wouldn’t have pulled something like that so close to the house I was working at, but it was Lily and I just had no control.

“I love you!” She cried.

“Not as much as I love you, sugar!”

I sent her a wink of my own and she just shook her head before blowing a kiss and driving off. I turned around and found that the door had already opened. I blushed, hoping that Jack hadn’t heard any of that conversation. And also because I had seen him naked this morning.

“Hello, Mr. Barakat.” I smiled.

“Hey, Katie, right?” I nodded and he gave me an odd look. I brushed it off and walked through the door.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit…I’ll see you later.”

I watched him jog out to his car and let out my breath in a huff. Well, that wasn’t nearly as awkward as it could have been. I did feel a little pang in my chest at the fact that he hadn’t recognized me, but I brushed it off and got to work. Only four more days left after today. Only four more days and I could leave Jack Barakat behind.