Memories That Fade Like Photographs

Arriving at school the next day was completely awkward. Everyone was staring at me and people were whispering like a wildfire. What could I possibly have done to make everyone treat me like I was a main attraction?

Finally having enough of this I quickly got my things and met Kara at her locker. When she noticed me she smiled widely but didn’t say a thing.

“Okay seriously what the hell is everyone going off about? I’m tired of getting these looks because I have no clue what is being rumored? It has something to do with me. I know that. You obviously know a lot more, so spill.”

She laughed, “Oh Lucy, sweet and innocent Lucy.”

“Kara, just tell me!”

“Fine,” she mumbled, “Everyone is going off about how you’re going to Homecoming with Alex. There, are you happy?”

I smiled, “Yes I am. And who found out? He asked me last night?”

“Some kid saw you two at the parlor and overheard your conversation and told anyone he knew. It’s shocking to everyone because Alex usually asks Lisa, whether they hate each other or not. That’s why everyone keeps talking.”

“Oh…” was all I could manage to say. If I wasn’t even here, Alex would still go with Lisa, but then their fighting wouldn’t even be happening because I was the main cause of it all. Maybe Alex does think of me differently than other girls?

“Have you talk to Jack yet?” Kara asked.

“No? Why would I? Is there something going on?”

“No, I just thought you should talk to him and see his point of view on this? I mean you two did have a thing going on.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll go talk to him.” I said as I started walking away to find the tall lanky weird boy. I found him at his locker, looking tired as he threw all his book stuff inside the littered locker.

“You need some energy, my friend.” I smiled up at him.

He looked back at me with a small smile and shut his locker.

“I’m just really tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night anyway.”

“What kept you up?”

“My brother told me that Kevin McCallister should’ve been raped in Home Alone. It gave me nightmares.” He said with a serious tone and he shivered at the end.

“He didn’t.” I said, hoping he was joking.

“Would I ever lie about a thing like that.” He said more as a statement.

“I’m going to kick his ass. Come on.” I said as I marched towards the front doors.

I heard Jack laugh, “Lucy, it’s fine. I might’ve been terrified last night, but I’ll get him back later in life. I promise. He’ll regret saying that.”

“Good, because if I ever see him I’ll make sure his penis is turned inside out.”

“Ouch, I’ll tell him you said that, maybe then he’ll take it back.” He smirked.

I smiled, “So… I was told I should talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Well, last night Alex asked me to Homecoming.”

“I know.” He smiled.

“And you’re okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? He’s my best friend and you’re my best friend. Just because we had a fling doesn’t mean I should feel offended. Plus I was the one who nagged at him to grow a pair and do it before you ended up bailing on us last minute.”

I smiled, “Thank you Jack.”

“No problem Lulu.” He winked at me as we started walking to my first period class.

As I talked to Jack on my way to History I was pushed by the shoulder as I heard a growl. Jack caught me before I hit the floor and I looked up and the person he walked past us.

I rolled my eyes as she spoke, “Watch where your going, bitch.”

“If you ever fucking”- I started to say but I was cut off by Jack.

“She’s not worth it Lucy. Just ignore her.”

I sighed and Lisa cackled like a hyena and walked away. Fucking Bitch.

“Thanks Jack.”

“No problem, but seriously ignore her. She just wants to waste your time and she’s only trying to get under your skin.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s trying to get you to fight back so you don’t go to Homecoming. If you ignore her till then she’ll give up.”

I sighed, “Alright, I promise I’ll play nice.”

He patted my head, “Good girl. Now, off to class.” He kissed my cheek and went off to his first period. I rolled my eyes at the weird boy and went on with my day. Even if I tried my hardest not to rip Lisa’s fake hair out of her head.



During study hall Mr. Humphries sent me to go give another teacher a note. Being the nosey person I was I read the letter and instantly regretted it. I seriously did not need to know that information, if you know what I mean.

After I gave the letter to Ms. Monroe, who I could not even look at without puking, I quickly left the room before she could tell me to give him back another note. I will not be apart of a teacher relationship. Too fucking gross.

As I scavenged the halls, deciding to take my time back to class, I ran into Ross. He looked sort of pissed so I decided to smile nicely and wave at him, only to receive a growl in return. My eyebrows furrowed, instatly becoming confused.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What’s wrong? Really, you’re going to ask me what’s wrong? I don’t know, maybe you should ask yourself. As a matter of fact, why don’t you open your legs for Gaskank, then you’ll know what my problem is.”

I was stunded to say the least. What did I do to deserve this? And what does Alex have to do with this?

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you fucking cunt. You’re a whore, and a bitch. You’ve been playing me since day one. You blow me off every chance you fucking get. You’ll go on a date with fucking Barakat, and you’ll take Gaskarth up for any offering he gives you. Are you sleeping with all those pathetic losers? You’re worse than they are. Maybe you should’ve been murdered like your parents.” He seethed.

“What was that?” I choked. Not clearly catching the last part. Please tell me I didn’t just hear that.

“I’m sure you heard me perfectly fine.” He narrowed his eyes at me, and I literally just wanted to vomit right then and there.

“How – how did y-you find out?” I started to hold my tears back.

“It’s not hard finding the school files.” He simply said as he walked away.

The bell rang and I just stood there. Imobilezed and unable to comprehend what was going on. The people past by me without a care in the world. I felt like I had just been stabbed more than once. And as I slid down in the corner and balled my eyes out, no one even stopped to see if I was okay. No one even noticed me.

Once the bell rang, the halls were cleared and I started crying harder. I could hear voices farther away and then finally they stood right in front of me.

“Lucy, is that you? What’s wrong?” Rian spoke out loud. I looked up with my raw eyes. With him was Jack and Matt. But at the moment my mind was only on one thing right now. I started to cry even more as I looked Rian dead in the eyes as I said, “Ross knows. He looked at my files.”

Rian paled and looked extremely mad. I’ve never once would’ve imagined him this angry. I probably would’ve been scared if I was in the right state of mind, but it didn’t matter at the moment. He was only upset because the fucker looked through my files and found out stuff that I didn’t even tell my closest friends about yet.

“What’s going on?” Matt asked, clearly confused. Jack looked exactly the same.

I let the tears continue to roll down as I bitterly laughed, “You’ll find out evetually.”

“Guys can I talk to her alone for a second.” Rian asked the two as he stared at me.

They both nodded and headed back in the direction they came from. Rian sat down next to me and asked me what exactly happened. And once I finished what happened he looked like he was about to run someone over. His muscles were tense, jaw flexed and his eyes looked like he was going to send someone to hell.

Rian stood up quickly and grabbed my hand, pulling me in tow. We turned the corner and were met with the other two who had a shocked expression when they saw how mad Rian was. The bell then rang, causing Rian to pick up pace, dragging me with him and with Matt and Jack trying to catch up with us. Finally, I knew exactly what Rian was doing.

We stood centimeters away from where Ross was just coming out of French.

No one has ever seen Rian this angry before, and everyone stepped out of the way to let him through. Not really understanding who his target was.

“Hey Ross.” Rian snapped as he let me go and walked behind Ross. Before he could respond though, Rian’s fist collided with his face. Ross stumbled back a bit, dropping his books in the process. Everyone was silent. Ross wiped his bloody nose away and then glared at Rian.

“What the fuck was that for?” he growled.

“I’ve always let things slide with you, but what you did was low. When you make my best friend fucking cry because you went through her fucking files to find things out about her, that’s when I finally snap. Your ass is mine Jenkins.”

And that’s when everything went downhill. Kara ended up by my side asking me if I was okay, but I couldn’t even tell her. I was watching my best friend, her boyfriend, fight with a guy that broke me into pieces. How can I answer when I don’t even know how to yell at him to stop. Why isn’t she yelling at him to stop?

A whistle was blown several times and the teenagers all staggered out of the way and quickly went to where they were supposed to go, including Kara. Matt and Jack stayed behind though.

“Boys, stop this nonsense!” Principle Davis yelled loudly. Once when they pulled apart, I couldn’t help but let a sob erupt. Rian had a bruised eye that was already swelling and his lip was busted open. I didn’t even dare to look at Ross.

I felt arms wrap around me as they help me stand, I realized it was Jack and I leaned into his grasp.

“Well, I’m not surprised by the fighing from this possy, but I’m shocked because this time it’s from you Mr. Dawson. This must’ve been a serious fight.”

They didn’t answser. Rian was still breathing heavilly, releasing his anger through that. And Ross looked like he was about to vomit.

“To my office. All of you.” The principle said boredly.

We all got up and went straigt to his office. The nurse came in and gave me a cup of water saying that it would help me cool down, and then she handed Rian and Ross and ice pack. I sat in Jack’s lap in one of the office chairs. He was still trying to calm me down. Matt was holding my hand, tracing circles with his thumb, thinking that it would comfort me. It did, but when I looked over at Ross who was giving me a death glare, I would tense up and look away.

“Alright, Jenkins what happened?” was the first thing Principle Davis said as soon as he sat down.

“Lucy pissed me off, so I told her off and she made up a story to Dawson here and he got pissed at me because she was crying.” He said in a pissed off tone.

Fucking pussy, can’t even claim the wrong things he’s done.

“Dawson, you’re turn.”

“I found Lucy crying in the staircase, she told me that this douche found out stuff about her by looking through her files. He told her that she should’ve been murdered like her parents and I snapped. No one says that, he’s a sick kid and needed to be taught a lesson.”

“And what would that be?” he asked boredly.

“Not to fucking mess with my friends.” He growled towards Ross.

“And finally Miss Jefferson. Would you like to tell me your side of the story?” he asked.

I nodded my head and began to tell him what happened, in full detail, and surprisingly he believed me more than he did Rian. He widened his eyes, and even started getting angry himself. Once I finished saying what I had to say he walked out of the room and came back with a video tape. He played it and we watched it carefully, that’s when everything fell into place. It was the tape that proved it all. Ross was sitting at Principle Davis’s desk, snooping through the computer and finally pulled out a printed piece of paper with a school picture and a lot of things written.

It was obivously my file and if that couldn’t prove it, then I have no clue what else would?

The room fell silent as Principle Davis paused the screen. He looked at each of us for a few seconds and then he finally sighed, “Lucy you’re off the hook, since you clearly did nothing wrong. As for you two boys, I will not tollerate this behavior. Jenkins you have two weeks out of school and one week in school suspension. You are not allowed to attend homecoming. Dawson you get three days in school.”

“I get all those suspensions and I’m not allowed to attend homecoming while he only gets three days of in school?!” Ross yelled.

“Be lucky I don’t expell you for going through Miss Jefferson’s files. Mr. Dawson only gets three days in school because all he did was defend his friend. As for you, there is so much that went wrong, you could have easilly been arrested. Now I suggest you either take the punishment or I’ll make it worse!” Principle Davis said very sternly.

It seemed like that got Ross to quiet down because he moved farther away from his desk as he spoke. I wanted to smirk at the act but I was too weak to do it.

“Dawson, Jefferson. You and your friends may leave. Jenkins, I need you to stay so your parents can come pick you up and so I can have a word with them.”

“Thank you Principle Davis.” I said quietly to him as I exited, while clinging to Jack’s arm.

On our way out of his office, one of the office ladies looked at me symaptheically and then sighed.

“Miss Jefferson.” She said quietly.

Jack and I both stopped walking as I looked at her to continue.

She smiled breifly, “You and your friends may go home early. I’ll excuse you all for the day.”

I looked at her stangely, “Really?”

She nodded, “Yes, really. It looks like you’ve had a rough day so I thought you should head home and rest, maybe with your friends there to comfort you… I take it you all drove here?”

I nodded, but then remembered about Kara and Alex.

“Yeah, but my friend Kara drove me to school this morning, and they drove here with our friend, Alex.”

She smiled, “That won’t be a problem dear. As soon as the bell rings, I’ll have them called down with all their things.”

I nodded my head and thanked her. We all sat down to wait quietly. Once when the bell had rung, not even ten minutes later, the two of them came in looking worried.

“You guys are now free to go… Oh, and Miss Jefferson, if there is anything else you ever need, please don’t hesitate to come here.”

“Thank you.” I smiled sadly as we walked out.

Once in the halls, I was englufed into a hug by Alex.

“Luc, what happened? Are you okay?” he worried.

I started to tear up a little and when he pulled out of the hug he was able to catch the first tear.

“There’s something I need to tell you guys. Can we go to my house? Please?”

“Yeah, of course.” They all answered.

I nodded my head and we all walked to the cars we came in. When I got in with Kara she asked, “What happened?”

As she pulled out of the parking lot, I looked out the window sadly, still not believing how this actually happened.

“Ross went through my school file. In it has a police report saying breifly that my parents were murdered and that I now live with my Aunt. He then said I should’ve died instead of them and honestly I couldn’t agree more.”

“Don’t you ever say something like that!” Kara scowled at me as she drove down my street.

I stayed quiet after that. I didn’t have to tell her anything that happened in my past. Or what exactly the police file meant by my parents being murdered… she already knew my story. And soon everyone else will know to.

We made it to my house within a few seconds, but to me it felt like hours. Luckily when we got there Aunt Kay wasn’t home to ask questions, but then again, when is she?

Everyone stood in my living room as we walked inside, but I walked past them and up the stairs. The first to follow was Alex and the others trailed behind.

I walked into my room and told them all to take a seat. Then I went to my desk and grabbed one of my photo albums, opening it up to the picture of my mom and dad at the vacation we took to Flordia, the vacation before everything happened.

My parents never even knew of this photo but I kept it because they looked so happy.

I took the photo out and handed it to Rian first. He smiled sadly at it and then looked up at me.

“Is this them?” he asked.

I nodded, “Yeah, that’s them. They didn’t even know I took it.”

He then handed it to Kara. She sent me a brief smile before saying, “You have your mom’s eyes, that’s for sure.”

“Thank you, Kara.”

She handed it over to Matt and he examioned it for a while, looking between me and the photo multiple times. Without speaking a word, he handed it over to Jack.

He didn’t seem to understand once he saw who it was of. His face was filled with a million questions but just kept staring at the photo. Then finally, he looked up at me.

“Your parents aren’t traveling, are they?” he asked.

I shook my head, “No, they’re not.”

He handed the photo over to Alex who looked extremely confused, and as he looked over it, Jack continued to ask quesitons.

“And Katherine is your legal gaurdian.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Is this when we find out what Ross found in your school files?”

I nodded my head but never got to speak as Alex yelled out, “He did what?!”

“Jenkins went through Lucy’s file and found out stuff that made her cry. Which is why I beat his ass.” Rian grumbled, clearly still upset the prick did such a thing.

“What did he find out?” Alex asked with a worried expression.

“The picture you’re holding is of my parents. It’s the last picture taken of them… this summer in Florida. When we got back home to Atlanta, there was a party a few days later. I asked to go and my parents said no. When they went to bed that night I snuck out through my bedroom window. I got home around 2 in the morning to see three police cars and two ambulances. Each ambulance held my parents. They were… they were murdered,” I chocked out as I felt arms pull me into a hug. Feeling the petite frame, I knew it was Kara. She held me closer as I continued my story.

“The police officers told me that it was a robbery, and the two men tried to steal some things. My parents slept downstairs and when my mother woke up from a lamp crashing down, she sent my father out to see what it was while she called 911. The robbers shot my father and my mother. They didn’t run far since the cops came in time. There was no sign of breaking in but the only possible way for them to get in without a scratch was through my window.”

It went quiet for a while. I knew they were shocked and were just trying to take it all in at once. It’s a lot that was put on them, but they still haven’t even been in my position to know how much weight it was when I found out.

After the long silence, Alex spoke up.

“Who knew about this before Ross?” he asked.

I looked at him, wondering why he wanted to know, but still answered, “Zack, Rian, and Kara.”

“When?” he kept going.

“Zack’s known because of his mom. Rian found out the night after the beach and Brooke and I told Kara. Why are you asking this?”

“Because I don’t know what else to say.” He said quietly.

It seemed like he answered someone else but it was my question he answered.

The whole room went silent, but soon everyone, besides Alex, got up to leave. They all told me that if I needed anything then I should call. I thanked them and watched as they all left.

Once I returned to my room, Alex was staring at the picture again. I crawled into my bed next to him, but once he noticed me, he set the photo down and pulled me in between his legs.

My back laid on his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist to connect with my hands. He kissed the side of my forehead and we both relaxed their in the silence.

“Kara was right. You have your mother’s eyes.”

I smiled, “That’s what a lot of people always told me. Especially my father.”

“I wish I could have met them.”

“You probably have. My parents used to live here till I was three, but we visited a lot up untill I got into middle school. A lot of people know of them.”

“But they don’t know what happened?”

“As far as some people know, they’re still living in Atlanta happily married with their only child.”

“Do you ever miss them?” he asked.

I was silent for a second. His question caught me off guard and I knew the tears were already out.

“All the time.” I whispered. “I still can’t believe they’re gone… God, I’m such a fucking idiot. This is all my fault. Maybe Ross was right. I should’ve died instead of my parents. I don’t even know why I’m still alive. I really wish I could take that day back and die instead. My parents didn’t deserve it.” I said without thinking what was coming out of my mouth.

“No one deserves it, Lucy. Being murdered isn’t somehting anyone would want. They were just in the wrong place and at the wrong time. It could have happened to anyone.”

“Why did it have to happen to my parents? If it wasn’t for me, they’d still be here; alive, healthy, and happy. And I’d be with them. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” I cried.

“But it did, Lucy. Think about it though, everything happens for a reason. If your parents hadn’t died you would’ve never met any of us. You wouldn’t have the support you have now and I wouldn’t have you here with me now to remind myself who I really am. I’ve been happier than I ever have been in a real long time. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“I never knew you were unhappy. I just always thought Lisa was the one person that made you unhappy.”

I felt him shake his head and sigh.

“Now here’s where I tell you my story.”

“Alex, what are you talking about?” I asked as I turned to face him.

He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out a picture. I watched him closely as he examined it first. Then he handed it to me.

I smiled when I saw what the picture was of. Alex and another boy, who looked a few years older than him, were smiling for the camera as they had cake smothered on their faces. But then something struck me. This was the boy that was in all those family photos I saw in his house. I kept looking at the photo as Alex began to speak.

“The other boy in the picture is my brother, Tom. He committed sucide a few years back.”

I looked away from the photo and up at Alex with teary eyes. He looked the same but he still smiled and wiped away my own tears.

Looking back at the photo, I smiled. They looked so happy. If only someone knew the reason for why his brother changed.

Is this what Aunt Kay meant when she said he was hiding something like I was?

“This photo was before he started changing, wasn’t it?” I asked as I placed the photo back into Alex’s hand.

He nodded his head, “Yeah. I mean he started feeling depressed before but the signs grew more when time passed by. He would always fight with my parents and me. He started drinking a lot and coming home piss drunk, which made our dad upset. Then one day after a big fight we had, he was gone.”

“You blamed yourself for his death.” I said, knowing it was true.

“How could I not? We fought because he thought I got all the attention. That I wanted everything and got everhting. He got so upset that he threw his whisky bottle at me and slammed the door before I even knew what else to do. He was gone all night and we didn’t know where he was till he was found dead.” he choked on every word.

I took Alex’s hand, squeezed it gently and laid him down. Knowing that we both told each other the hardest part of our lives made me feel closer to him. He’s a strong hearted guy and I love everthing about that.

I laid donw next to Alex and he wrapped his arms around me as we cuddled on my bed. I looked up and kissed his lips gently before pushing myself closer to him.

“Thank you, Alex.” I said quietly.

“For what?”

“Telling me your story and being there for me. You really have no clue how much this means to me.”

I felt him smile as he kissed the top of my head.

“You have no clue what it means to me either.” He whispered.

We laid there for a while longer before the both of us drifted off to sleep. If it wasn’t for this I would never have guessed how much Alex really means to me.

I haven’t known him that long but there’s something about him that makes my hear fly. He keeps me happy and he make me forget all the bad memories. And I’m scared to believe it but I think I might be in love with Alex Gaskarth.