Memories That Fade Like Photographs

After last night, I couldn’t contain the smile that spread across my face. The guys barely played the song Memories That Fade Like Photographs, and I believe I’ve only heard them play it once, but to have Alex play it to me acoustically and being told that every time he plays it by himself the only thing he can think of is me… makes me fall deeper in love with him. I don’t think he really know how much I truly love him.

Waking up today was exciting. Not only was I happy but the feeling of Christmas was in the air. I crawled out of bed and headed straight to Moose’s room. I woke him up and that same evil smirk he had every year around this time of day grew on his face. I quietly giggled and held my finger to my lips, telling him to be extremely quiet.

Every year, for the past three years, Moose and I would wake Brooke up on any holiday. Last time we woke her up on Easter. Moose wore a bunny suit and I dressed up as a decorative egg. We woke her up with a blow horn and then jumped on her bed. Let’s just say it was the best wake up call we’ve ever done. Today would be different though because since we didn’t really plan anything, we made something up on the spot last night when Brooklyn was fast asleep.

We quietly brought an amplifier and guitar –already hooked up- into her room. I plugged it into the outlet and strapped the guitar over my head. Moose hit the record button and counted down to three before I started to play a really high pitched guitar riff and then went straight into Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree.

Brooke woke up instantly and screamed but that didn’t stop us. We continued on laughing as she groaned and covered her face with her pillow. When I finished the song I took the guitar off and ran towards her, jumping on the bed, Moose joined along after he set the camera down so it’d record the entire thing.

“Wake up, Brooke! It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! Wake up! Wake up!” Moose and I screamed. She ground in defeat and then left the room, dragging her brother with her. I went over to the camera with a smile on my face. Before I ended the recording I said, “Merry Christmas guys. It’s great to have you here after everything that’s happened. I miss you and I love you. Bye!” I blew a kiss and waved goodbye before I finally ended the video.

“Lucy, save me!” I heard Moose yell from the hall. I laughed and then rushed out to see what was going on. To my surprise, Brooke was dragging Moose by his feet down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, “Alright, fun is over. Brooklyn let go of your baby brother.”

She shrugged her shoulders and then let go of him to which he sighed in relief and thanked me. After going downstairs and making breakfast I noticed my aunt wasn’t here. That’s when I saw the note on the fridge. It read:



“Well, it looks like we’re throwing a party!” Rian shouted as he walked through the front door and into the kitchen.

I scoffed, “its okay, come right on it. Not like you have to knock or anything.”

He sheepishly smiled, “Sorry, just really excited. By the way Merry Christmas!”

“You too, Rian.” I smiled and kissed his cheek as he gave me a side hug.

We then started planning our party. I sent Jack and Alex to pick up food, and decorations, and Matt and Zack were here, sitting on my couch telling people about the party that’ll start at eight. Kara dragged me and Brooke upstairs to pick out our outfits and Moos was resting since he was currently having a breakfast food coma because my cooking was just that good. His words not mine.

Finally after getting everything set up, I thanked everyone as they all went home to get ready. Well everyone besides Kara, who brought her stuff over to get ready with Brooke and myself.

“How long have you and Rian been together?” Brooke asked Kara as she applied her mascara.

“Since freshman year.” She smiled.

“Wow, that’s a long time and neither of you have ever cheated?”

“Never. I don’t think it’d be possible. He’s an honest and great guy and I wouldn’t have the heart to do such a terrible thing to him. What about you?”

“What about me?” she asked.

“Well if you were dating someone for that long, would you cheat on him?” Kara asked nonchalantly.

There was something about her question though that made me put my guard up. Why is Kara asking my best friend this?

“Well the last boyfriend I had, Derek, was basically a man-whore. He fucked me and then left. It broke my heart because I thought I could change him except I didn’t take the warnings from Lucy into consideration. Thus, after getting my heartbroken by the man-whore himself, I turned into the whore of the school.”

I laughed, “Brook you were always the whore of the school.”

“Not till the middle of sophomore year! I stole the title from Emily Fitzgerald!”

“After she moved with her dad to California.”

“That’s what everyone thinks but behind the scenes we were on a bet. Whoever fucked the most boys without getting caught by our parents is the winner. Obviously I won since dad thinks I’m an angel.” Brooke explained.

How did I not know of this from my own best friend?!

“How’d she get caught?” Kara asked.

“Fucked some guy at church. The priest walked in on them and he told their parents.”

“Emily went to church?” I asked.

“Her dad was a big catholic.”

“I never knew that.” I spoke more to myself. After all those years of growing up with Emily, I knew so little about her. How does Brooke know so much? How much do I know about Brooke?

“So would you ever cheat on someone?” Kara asked again.

Brooke scoffed, “Well I don’t really date anymore. I’m more of a benefits type of girl. You see if a guy wants to hook up, we will. They guy will either be single or not depends on who it is. Other times, well most of the times it’s me getting completely hammered and when I see someone I had my eye on for a while I get them hammered and we fuck. Simple as that.”

“How did I not know of this?” I asked.

She shrugged, “I didn’t think it was important.”

“It is though! What if you catch some disease or get pregnant!”

“That’s why there’s”- I cut her off.

“Protection? You can’t be serious. It’s not always effective, Brooklyn. Birth control could fail and the condom can break. You could forget a pill and you can forget a condom. What would happen”-

This time she cut me off. “None of that is going to happen, Lucy! I’ll be okay! You’re not my dad or my mother. Plus it’s not like you’d know anything about sex.”

“I’ve had sex before Brooklyn.”

“Not since Derek! That was last year! You haven’t even touched your boyfriend. The only think you do with him is make-out. You need to”-

“My relationship with Alex is none of your business, Brook.”

“Really? I thought I was your best friend? Clearly, we’re supposed to tell each other everything.”

I laughed, “Which you’ve failed to do. You don’t tell me anything anymore. I thought you only slept with a few people. Not the entire city of Atlanta.”

“I don’t know Lucy. Maybe if you knew how to open your legs, you’d know how great it feels for the amount of pleasure that goes through your body from one boy.”

“I’m not a whore Brooklyn. Unlike you, you wouldn’t know the pleasure coming from one boy, since you have many. All you feel is lust not love.”

“But you know what that would feel like. You and Derek had plenty of that.”

“At least I later longer with him. He fucked you once you opened up. I actually dated him for two months!”

“Maybe you’re the one that changed him. He knew he was falling in love with you and left because he choked. Do you know what he is like now?”

“I do, thanks to your knowledge.” Before she could answer there was a knock on my door. Kara got up to open it and Rian’s stepped inside.

“You know there’s a huge party going on downstairs, right?” he said to us.

“We were just on our way down. Thank you, Rian.” I forced a smile.

“Is everyone alright?” he asked, already feeling the tension in the room.

Kara quickly went to my rescue, “Everything’s fine. Let’s go dance, babe.”

She kissed him on the lips and he quickly smiled and left with her. Brooke then stood up and stormed past me angrily. Before she left through she looked at me with an evil glint in her eyes. Something I’ve never seen her do.

“There’s one thing I learned from sophomore year that I’ve followed every day since. Look like an innocent flower, but attack like the serpent beneath it.”

Then she walked away. I stared at the spot she once stood in. I knew exactly where that quote was from. Macbeth was the one play I truly enjoyed reading, but why would she say that quote to me? What’s it even supposed to mean?

Ignoring her threat I got up to go look for my boyfriend. When I got to the foyer I was shocked to see exactly how many people were actually here. It seemed like all of Dulaney was here as well as people that I’ve never seen before. I’m assuming they’re all from the same school as Zack.

I pushed my way through my living room and towards the kitchen. I spotted Jack and smiled at him. He motioned me to come towards him and I didn’t object when he did.

“Hey! How’s the most beautiful girl in the world doing?” He asked excitedly.

“Thank Jack. I’m thirsty, do you mind making me a drink?”

“Sure, I’ll make you my special.” He smiled as he started mixing a bunch of drinks together.

“Have you seen Alex?” I asked.

He shook his head, “Not recently. When we got here Brooklyn dragged him away from me saying she knew where you were. Obviously she didn’t but I’m sure you’ll run into one of them soon.”

“Oh well if you see him tell him that I was looking for him.”

“I will.” He nodded and handed me the drink. I took a sip and nearly choked on how strong it was.

“What is this? Did you create your own whiskey?”

“He laughed, “It’s called a Jack-Attack. I’ve never had that kind of comment. Most people say it’s really strong or that it’s sort of fruity.”

“Fruity is definitely the after taste. Whiskey is certainly the strength.” I said before taking another sip. “I’ll come back for more. Thanks Jack.”

“No problem, Luc.” He said as I walked away.

I continued my search for Alex and couldn’t even find him anywhere. I asked every friend who said that they haven’t seen him either or they saw him with Brooke and that they were both looking for me. I was starting to get frustrated but then quickly into worry. But what would I have to worry about?

I stopped where I was and looked around. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Maybe if I calmed down and let go I’d run into them or hopefully one of them. I sighed and finished off my third drink. I kept going back to Jack each time for another and thankfully it calmed me down more than I did myself.

Walking back into the kitchen was easy, but when Jack looked at me he frowned slightly.

“Still nothing?” he asked.

I shook my head, “Nothing at all. What about you?”

He shook his head and we both sighed.

“Well since your boyfriend isn’t here to entertain you I might as well. Here’s another Jack-Attack. Now let’s get our groove thang on.” He cheered as he pulled me to the living room where some makeshift dance floor was created.

Obviously by now everyone was either drunk or on the verge of being drunk. Jack was almost there and I was already there. We danced sloppily, grinding against each other. Soon we got into a rhythm. I handed the rest of my drink to him to finish off. Which he took gladly, tossing the red cut off into the air. There were a few screams from afar probably from the cup Jack just threw. I giggled to myself.

“You know it’s not like Alex to be MIA on us.” Jack spoke into my ear.

I nodded and turned around to speak in his ear, but continued dancing.

“I know, I was worried, but I think relaxing would help. Maybe staying in one spot for a while.”

“Probably.” Jack answered. We were both silent for a while till Jack spoke again, “You know you’re really good at dancing.”

I laughed, “Thanks, I’m glad whore dancing 101 with Brooklyn paid off.”

“I like her.”

“Who?”

“Brooklyn. He’s pretty, fun, and we do the same thing like you and Alex.”

“What would that be?” I asked.

“Say the same thing at the exact same time. We also have a lot in common.”

I sighed, “Jack, I understand you like her but she leaves tomorrow. She’s not even the relationship type of girl.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was fucked over by an ex of hers and she changed badly. She sleeps around a lot and isn’t afraid of hurting anyone. I don’t want that for you.”

“I thought she was your friend?” he asked.

I sighed, “She is, but she’s changed so much that I don’t even know who she is anymore. Before I found out what she was like I couldn’t shut up to Kara about hooking you two up, but now I don’t want you two together. I’m sure Kara would say the same thing.”

“What if I can change her? She can’t be too far gone that someone can’t stop her.”

“I don’t know Jack.” I said as I stopped dancing. He did as well but he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. He burrowed his head in my neck and sighed.

Then he said, “It’s worth a try.”

“That’s all up to her and since we can’t seem to find her or Alex then neither of us can do anything at the moment.”

“I guess you’re right.” He sighed.

We pulled apart from each other but held each others hands. We started to dance wildly unlike the others. This was one thing I loved about Jack. I could be with him and act like a complete fool and not care about what others think. I could do that with Alex too, but it’s different for us.

Right now, I realize that Jack is always there for me. Since the beginning he somehow knew that I would choose Alex. He knew how I felt about him without me uttering a single word. Jack will always be there for me no matter what and he doesn’t even have to tell me.

After a few hours the party began to die down. By the time there were only twenty people left and my friends, I was pooped… and drunk.

Jack and I ended up playing two rounds of beer pong and being my first time playing I lost. Thus, he and I got completely trashed.

“Hey Lucy.” Jack slurred.

“Yeah?” I hiccupped.

He giggled, “I can’t find Lexy and he’s my ride but I’m too fucked up to walk home. Can I spend the night with you?”

“Of course!” I slurred. I took a hold of his hand and we walked, well stumbled to the stairs.

“Night everyone!” I yelled towards the people below me.

Kara was the first to look at me “Is it alright if we crash here, Lucy?”

I nodded, “Yeah, but make sure the fuckers that I don’t know leave. Check the bathrooms, basement, everything. Got it!”

“No – problem!’ she hiccupped.

Jack and I giggled before going down the hall. We stopped suddenly when there was a girl moaning. Realizing it was Brooke’s, I frowned. She had to fuck a random guy the night before she leaves?

I looked up at Jack and my frown deepened. Jack looked sad, probably because he really liked her.

“Oh fuck! You’re so good!” Brooke moaned. I squeezed Jack’s hand and pulled him to my room. He instantly sat on my bed as I walked towards my dresser. I got out my own pajamas and some of Jack’s that he left here. When I threw the basketball shorts and v-neck at him, we both started undressing, not really caring about the fact that we were half naked in front of each other, and put on the comfy clothes.

Jack sat back on the edge of my bed and put his hands on his face. I frowned. Never have I seen him thins torn up.

I sat down next to him and pulled his hands down and held them. He looked up at me with teary eyes and I couldn’t help but feel his pain and grow a slight hatred towards my friend.

He sighed, “Lucy-“but I cut him off.

“Don’t Jack. I get it. You really liked her but please don’t say I was right Let me remind you that I don’t want you to get hurt by her, but you’re already are. You deserve so much more than her Jack. Remember that every time you get hurt. There are so many girls that are going to want to be with you and when you meet her I can’t wait for the day you tell me I was right. That’s when I want to hear it, okay?” I said as a tear fell form my eye.

He laughed sadly and wiped it away, “I’m glad you’re my friend Lucy. I love you so much that it hurts, but you’re Alex’s. Always have, always will.”

I kiss his cheek, “Thank you Jack. Now, let’s get some sleep. I have to take my bitch of a best friend and her lovely brother to the airport tomorrow.”

“Alright, goodnight, Lucy.” Jack said as we cuddled on my bed.

“Goodnight, Jack.” I smiled.

Before falling asleep I thought. If Alex was never in the picture I’d date Jack within a heartbeat but theses are only what if’s. Jack is both mine and Alex’s best friend and again with a what if. What if Alex and I found Brook moaning in her room? Would we look at her with disgust? Would we make fun of her in the morning? Would we tell Jack what happened? What if I had found Alex earlier? Would he and I finally do what we haven’t done? Would we be too drunk to remember? Would we not be drunk at all?

But that’s all just a bunch of what ifs and would we’s. None of them have or will actually happen because the nights already over.

Before actually falling asleep the only thing that was on my mind was Alex.

And the question surrounding his name was where could Alex be?