Sequel: We All Fall Down
Status: Updates when possible.

Memories That Fade Like Photographs

Don't let this memory fade away

I met my neighbors, Rian and his brother Chase. They’re great people. There dad reminds me sort of, of mine. I miss him so much and I know he’ll never be replaced, but these guys seem great. I even met Rian’s friends, Jack and Alex. They seem nice as well, but they’re both too cocky for their own good.

Beach Day turned out horrible. I met Alex’s girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend and boy was she a handful. I wonder what he ever saw in her? I feel bad for her and I’m shocked that Kara would say such a cruel thing to her. I guess she deserved it though.

Jack’s weird, I like him. But why did he have to question me on who I like more. Alex or him? I don’t even know anymore, this is all just hard. And I hate it when I’m put under pressure like this. God, he’s annoying!

The boys are away this weekend. They left Kara and I behind while they left to Virginia to open up for a band. I don’t know what to do without them. They’re literally all I have besides my aunt and Kara. It’s nice seeing them following their dreams though.

Alex took me on our second date today. It was over at that Diner. It was cute and I enjoyed every minute of it. He even asked me to Homecoming. I don’t know but there’s something about him that makes me feel good inside. All I want to know is what the feeling is.

Alex and I are official now. When I got home Aunt Kay apparently already knew. She said it was the way he looked at me. I don’t understand her sometimes but she sees things that I don’t see or anyone as a matter of fact. it’s nice to have her around sometimes. She reminds me so much of dad, then again that is her brother. God, I miss him so much.

Today was interesting… most awkwardest things of my life… word of advice to anyone who has a single Aunt, when she tells you to leave the kitchen to get your best friend and his brother while she’s in the kitchen with their dad and they say that they’re going to set the table. Never assume that they’re always getting out cups and plates. You might accidently walk in on some major old people lip lock.

Chase. Chase. Chase. Chase. I swear that boy has a mind of his own. I love him to death but did he seriously have to say out loud, that he’s all for my aunt and his dad hooking up and getting hitched? At dinner too! Well apparently we all knew they have been having this relationship and they decided they’ll tell us now. When they left Chase continued and said it’d be nice to have a hot step-mom…and step-sister. That deserved a slap upside the head by both Rian and myself. Got to love him though, right?

Do you ever get so many butterflies for one person that you don’t understand why? That’s how I feel with Alex. Every kiss, every touch, anything that involves us together. I feel like my insides will explode. I know why though, but I’m afraid to say. He’s the only love I have and I don’t want to scare him away.

Brooke and Moose are in town! I can’t wait for what’s in store! My best friend is going to meet my boyfriend. This is going to be amazing! I hope she approves!

I can’t believe he would do this to me! After everything we’ve been through! I know he wasn’t all at fault but with my best friend? Seriously?! Brooke will never let me live this down. Her smile when I found them makes me sick. All for what? The satisfaction that she won a sick game she played by herself? She never wants me to be happy with someone. And just when I knew I was in love with him, my heart is shattered. Alex Gaskarth broke my heart.

Jack’s been helping me with everything.. At first it was just a drunken night and we both knew it was wrong. I cried that morning because I felt like I betrayed Alex. Jack understood, but he knew it was completely wrong of us. He asked why I don’t just go back to him, but I knew I couldn’t. I’m in love with him, but I don’t trust him. He’s done nothing to show me I can. So after that it’s always been me and Jack. We sort of went back to our old ways but in a more comforting matter. It felt almost… real.

What is he doing?Is he trying to make hurt even more? I need space but he won’t let me have it. Why does he not understand!? All I want is for everything to be okay again, but it’ll never happen. I need to escape. I wanted every part of me to let him know that I still love him, but how can I love someone I can’t trust? When I left the performance today it was the last thing I wanted him to know. It’s all a lie, but it’s the only way I can make him go ways. If he knew the truth now, then what would he do then?

I made up my decision; I’m leaving. Somewhere no one would suspect. I’m just done with Baltimore. Alex had been using Lisa to make me jealous and it’s been working but I refuse to show it. Lisa’s been telling me everything they do and she promises me that they aren’t having sex because Isobel refuses to let her inside the house… Anyway I’m leaving right after Prom and the only people that knows I’m leaving is Jack and Lisa. He doesn’t like the idea, but if its what I want then he’s all for it. He keeps asking why I want to leave and when I wouldn’t answer he’d bug me about is so I finally gave in and told him. I didn’t actually know my reasoning until I said it to him… Alex hasn’t shown the trust I need from him and if him using Lisa is the way to see if I cared then I know he won’t figure it out. he keeps breaking my hear and I don’t want to wait on him forever.

I lost but I can’t do anything. Everything is set and ready to go. This is my last entry and whoever reads it first I want you to know that I’m sorry. Everything that’s going on will blow away soon. I love you all, but understand that this is something I have to do. I admit, I’m a coward. I’m running away from my problems, but hopefully the scars will heal over. You all might hate me, but know that I’ll never hate any of you. I don’t think it would be possible to do that. I guess this is goodbye then…
♠ ♠ ♠
So this is the end, I'm honestly really proud of this (:
The first story that I actually finished. It may have taken a year to do so, but it feels amazing to finish something. It's like a baby, and now I'm setting it free.
Well thank you all for commenting, hopefully I'll get the sequel started soon!
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We All Fall Down