Memories That Fade Like Photographs

The school day went on and I walked with Alex to the Gymnasium where we’d have a talk about what we’d be doing in gym. When we walked in, we met up with Kara and Jack and took seats on the bleachers. “So, how has everyone’s day been so far?” Jack asked.

“Wonderful, I really like it here, aside from a pathetic rumor.” I said happily.

“Don’t let it get to you Luc.” Alex said as he put his arm casually over my shoulder. It didn’t really bug me, or even Jack. But I felt eyes burning in the side of my head and I glanced over and saw Lisa glaring daggers. And if looks could kill I’d be dead. I turned my head back to the group and said causally, “Don’t look but Lisa is staring.”

“Well, since you haven’t been listening, we already know.” Jack laughed.

“Oh, well I was too busy seeing who was burning the side of my face.”

“S’all good.” He smiled. Half of the gym lights turned off and the coaches started giving their lecture. Jack and Kara went down more towards the front so they could hear what they were saying, but Alex and I stayed where we were. I could still feel Lisa watching me and him, and it’s starting to bug me. I guess Alex sensed it because he whispered in my ear saying, “If she wants a show, why don’t we give her one.”

I bit my lip, knowing exactly what he meant but the lower part of my stomach started to flutter. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a crush on him, but in all honesty, I did. He was caring and sweet, yet he was still his cocky and immature self. Same goes for Jack, I can tell by the end of my senior year, these boys will be the death of me.

I leaned in and whispered to him, “I like the sound of that, but don’t get us in too much trouble.” He laughed and then we sat back the way we were before we started talking. Alex moved his arm and placed it on my knee. I looked over at him questioningly and he smirked saying, “Are you nervous?”

“The nervous game really, Lex?” I laughed quietly. He shrugged and flicked his eye quickly over where Lisa sat and then back to me. I smiled said, “No.” He moved his hand up more to my lower thigh and again I said no. He moved it to my middle thigh and the butterflies started to flap the side of my stomach, but I was daring and I shook my head no. I swallowed hard when he moved his hand to my upper thigh and trying to make it seem like we were flirting, I pushed his hand away and giggled, “Yes, I’m very nervous.” I said it sarcastically to him, but the way it looked was probably different. He smirked at me and put his arm back over my shoulder and said in my ear, “If she wasn’t watching would you let me go further?” I pushed his face a way with a laugh and quietly said, “Only in your dreams.”

“That was mean.” He pouted and I rolled my eyes. “Pouting will get you no where.” He smiled at me and pulled me more towards him to say, “It was worth a try.” And that was the last of what he said before the lights were turned back on. Jack and Kara, came back up and Kara laughed, “I know you two haven’t know each other that long, but seriously get a room next time. I swear it’s like you two are newlyweds.”

“Yeah just like newlyweds.” Jack grumbled. I shook my head from the way he was acting, but he had a point. I was letting Alex start doing the things Jack was doing, sort of? And Kara warned me about it all. Maybe, I am just another girl to them? I like them equally but who would I get hurt worse by? Right now, I just really needed a breather. I stood up quickly and excused myself to go to the water fountain. I walked down the bleachers and out the gym to get a drink from the fountain outside the doors. I pushed my hand on the button and leaned down to get a sip. Then my face was pushed into the water and I let go and wiped the water off my face. I looked up angrily at the person who did it and my nerves almost blew the roof when I saw who it was.

But I stayed calm with an irritated edge, “Really Lisa? Very mature way of handling your problems.”

“I don’t like waiting, and I have a few words to say to you.”

“And I don’t like talking to snobby, cheating ex-girlfriends. Yet, here we are. Now, go on.”

She scoffed, “Ouch that one really hurt. Oh well, I guess I’ll get over it.”

“Lisa, I don’t have all day.” I said with boredom.

She sent daggers at me and walked closer, but I never moved. We were about the same height and she pointed a finger at me saying, “I’m going to warn you once and just this one time. Stay the fuck away from Alex.”

Then it was my turn. I rolled my eyes and started pushing towards her making her walk into a wall, “You see there’s a problem with that. You don’t tell me what to do, I tell myself what to do. You don’t know me yet, but you soon will. But you’ll only get the bad side because the good side just wants to bash your face into a wall right now.” I smiled.

“I’d like to see you try.” She challenged and I just frowned, “Don’t test me Lisa. And just so you know you’ve been warned.” I said as I walked back into the gymnasium and over to Kara, Jack, and Alex, who were still sitting in the exact spot. They all smiled up and me and then back to the door with a frown. Alex was the first to speak, “What did she do?”

“Nothing, but I know something she doesn’t.” I smirked.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked quizzically.

“She’s teaching the bitch a lesson on not to snoop through other peoples business. And you’ll be helping her.” Kara said as she narrowed her eyes at the skunk haired boy. “Will I get in trouble?” he pouted. I shrugged, “Only unless we get caught.” And then the bell rang. We were all dismissed and I was glad that the day was finally over. I didn’t go to my locker, since I didn’t need to take anything out, so we all decided to go out to the parking lot and wait for everyone else. As we waited, a kid from mine and Kara’s French class came over. I never really caught his name but he seemed like a nice person.

“What do you want Jenkins?” Jack growled. Okay, obviously I missed something. How could Jack and I guess Alex, since he’s giving him a death stare as well, not like this kid? They act the same except I guess this guy gets away with it easier. “Not here to talk to you two, I need to talk to Lucy.”

“Ross, go away, you don’t need to talk to her.” Alex butted in; these two guys are starting to irritate me. I pushed passed both Jack and Alex to talk to the guy.

“Bonjour Lucy. Je me demandais si vous voulez sortir ce samedi? “

“Why the fuck is he talking in French?” Jack complained. I turned and gave him a glare, but Kara hit him upside the head and told him to be quiet. She knew what was being said because the three of us have the same knowledge of speaking French especially since we’re in French 4 AP.

I turned my attention back to the guy, who I have yet learned his name and said, “Je voudrais savoir votre prénom avant de me répondre.”

He smiled, “Je suis desole. Je m’appelle Ross Jenkins. Maintenant, au sujet de cette date?”

“C’est belle rencotre que vous Ross. Et je ne pense pas que je peux, ce samedi. Peut-etre unt autre fois?”

“Oui, peut-etre une autre fois. Je vais vous voyez autour et j’espere que nous n’aurons pas Alex et Jack demande ce que nous disons.”

“Did he just say our names in another language?” Alex whispered yelled at Kara who just shushed him.

“Je comprends. Je vais vous voyez autour?” I asked and he nodded waving while saying, “Au revoir, belle.” I blushed and waved back and turned around seeing that everyone was now there staring. Rian looked a little ticked off, as well as Matt by just seeing Ross. What crawled up there asses? Kara didn’t seem to mind though as she looked at me and squealed.

“What did Jenkins want?” Matt said in distaste.

“What is with you guys? You act like he’s a fucking disease?”

“We don’t like him. Never have, never will.” Rian stated still staring at the spot where Ross and I last stood. I rolled my eyes, “Don’t you think you guys are being a little over dramatic? He’s the nicest guy I’ve talked to.”

“Oh thanks.” They all said in unison. I rolled my eyes once again, “Not what I meant. Now, please tell me why you don’t like him?”

“First tell us what you were talking about?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, we already know he mentioned something about us, so spill.” Jack spat.

I narrowed my eyes at him for talking to me like that. I’m so fed us with their fucking attitudes, “Okay, one- don’t ever fucking talk to me like that Barakat. I didn’t do anything to you. And two- he asked me out on a date, I said no and told him another time. And three- he only said we’ll talk when you two aren’t around because you would be wondering what we’d be saying and quite frankly it’s none of your guys’ god damn business.”

There faces started to soften and Jack started to apologize, “Lucy, I”-

“Save it Jack, just someone please take me home. I need to think and I need to explain something to Brooke.”

“I’ll drive you. The boys have things to do anyways, so is it okay if I crash at your place till I need to go home?” Kara asked. I nodded my head and we both left to her car, but she quickly gave a kiss to Rian and we left.

The drive was silent as we pulled up in my driveway. I wasn’t as pissed as I was before, but I was a little stressed. It wasn’t the worst day ever, but it surely wasn’t the best. Kara and I got out of her car and into my house. Aunt Kay wasn’t home so we took the liberty of going to the alcohol and grabbing a bottle of wine, grabbing two glasses and heading to my room. First thing I did was change out of my school clothes and into something relaxing. I offered Kara if she’d like to change and when she nodded I threw her a pair of sweats.

While I was changing Kara suddenly gasped and I turned around to see her staring at my right side, but when she saw my hip she gasped again shouting, “When did you get those?”

I laughed, “I got them last year.”

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“Yes, that’s why my friend did them.”

“What do the words say?”

“It says, Words can’t say what love can do, which to me basically means that if a guy says he’s in love with me I wouldn’t be able to know the truth unless he shows it to me somehow. Actions are stronger than words.”

“Wow, I would’ve never thought of that. And your hip is a dandelion?”

“I guess so, but to me it was never a dandelion. I always called it the wishing flower. Every time I would see one I’d be sure to pick it up and make a wish hoping it would come true. It always reminds me of my childhood. That’s why I got it.”

“That’s really cute.”

“Thanks.” I said as I put my blue tank top on. We opened the bottle of white wine and poured half way in our glasses. Then I decided to text Brooke and asked if she was on Skype. I didn’t get a reply back but my laptop starting ringing saying someone was calling me for a chat. I opened the screen and hit enter to see the lovely face of my best friend.

“Lucy! Spill the details now!” she demanded.

“Again, hi to you to Brooklyn; I had an okay day myself. What about you?”

She groaned, “I swear sometimes you never want to just spill. My day was wonderful thank you very much. What went wrong with you? You spent it all day with three sexy men? What could go wrong?”

I sighed, “A lot could go wrong. And before I go any further I’d like to introduce you to Kara, she’s Rian’s girlfriend and has been close friends with the guys since 8th grade.” I said as I plopped myself on my bed next to Kara. She smiled and said a nice hello to each other. They started conversing and about the guys and then out of no where Kara said, “Yeah, there’s been a lot going on since Lucy got here. I’m just glad she got rid of a girl I’ve hated since she came into the group.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked both of them.

“Good, now that you’re focused. Tell me everything. Starting with what went down at the beach.” I sighed and explained everything from when I arrived at the beach to getting the alcohol and to truth or dare. Then she stopped me, “Wait you made out with Jack?”

“Yes, and he’s a very good kisser.”

“What happened to liking that Gaskarth kid?” she asked and then Kara grew wide eyed and yelled, “You like Alex?”

“Kara, you already knew that.”

“But I didn’t know you liked him to the point where you told your best friend about him. Oh my god, this is so exciting!”

“Kara calm down. I told her about Jack and Zack too. I don’t think it counts.”

“Oh, damn it.” She said softly and lay back on my pillows while I continued my story at the bonfire and ended off when we left the beach. “Okay, so what happened the next day?” she asked for me to continue. So, I did the same. Telling her that I woke up in the house alone and I got scared shitless so I got dressed quickly and went over to Rian’s house to find Kara upset. I then let Kara explain her thoughts and she let me explain the rest after she left me at Alex’s house. I told her that I heard Isobel say that I was hiding something that wasn’t a good thing to Peter, but I didn’t make anything of it, and Alex and I went to get my phone from his car. Then we left to my house because Jack was kicked out of Rian’s so Kara and he could have a nice time together. That caused Kara to sit up quickly and defend herself, but then caved and said that they did, indeed, have a nice time together.

After that I told both of them more about what happened when the two boys spent the night and then leading up to what happened at school with a very pathetic rumor, flirting with Alex, getting asked out by Ross, and getting pissed off at all the boys for making a big deal about it. Then Brooke wisely said, “You might want to be careful Lulu.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, there seems to be a lot going on? I know you don’t want anyone knowing and I’m sorry if Kara doesn’t know yet, but I’m going to say it. I know you don’t want anyone to know about your parents being murdered but don’t you think if this Lisa chick somehow found out about the record company, she’ll somehow find a way to tell everyone about the death of your parents.”

My eyes started to threaten the tears to fall but I wouldn’t let that happen. I started to hold onto the necklace with my parents’ wedding rings and I choked out, “I hope to hell she doesn’t.”

Kara rubbed my back and I didn’t even have to look at her to know that she was sorry. I was glad she didn’t say it, and I’m glad she was here to calm me down. Or else I probably would’ve logged off right away and cried myself to sleep.

“So, to change the subject; what boy do you like the most?”

“I’m not choosing between them if that’s what you’re getting at. I like both of them but I mean I guess you could say I like Jack more because we’ve already kissed. Alex seems like a really nice guy and I really like him. There’s something about him that makes me want to know more about him and Jack is just a fun, hyper active, easy-going guy. They’re both pretty amazing.”

“Wow, I’ve never heard you talk about guys like that. Are you on something?”

I laughed, “No, just changing my perspective on most things.”

We talked for a while longer, including Kara because Brooke wanted to know more about Rian. When we ended the conversation I poured myself another half glass of wine whereas Kara didn’t because she’d have to leave soon.

“So, I was thinking…” Kara began, “Why don’t you go on dates with Alex and Jack. That way you could see which one you like more.”

“I don’t know? Will they get mad at each other if I go on a date with both of them or will they be treating me like the other girls’ like you said they could.”

“You never know if you don’t try. Plus, I did say you were different and nothing will ever come in between them especially if it’s just a girl.”

“Gee, thanks Kara.”

She laughed, “Not what I meant, but at least you get the picture.” It was silent for a while and I knew she had that one thing on her mind so I took a deep breath and said, “Go ahead, ask me while I’m prepared.”

“What did she mean by your parents being murdered?”

“That’s why I’m out here Kara. I couldn’t stay in Atlanta because I had no family there. Aunt Katherine is the only living breathing family member I have left.”

“How did it happen?” she asked hesitantly.

This time I took a big breath and prepared myself for the tears that were ready to fall, “I snuck out of my house to go to a party. I left my window open and that’s how the scumbags got in, they killed my parents because they were home. I’m not even sure if they were just there to murder them or if they planned on taking anything. The police haven’t called us on anything yet, you know for court dates or anything. So, I’m just sitting here waiting for unanswered questions to have its answers.”

“It’s not your fault Luc.” She said quietly and eyed me closely. I laughed bitterly, but more at myself, “Everyone who knows about this is telling me that. All I can think of that; it’s the only answer I have so far. When I ask the fuckers questions myself then I’ll know.” Kara just nodded and we went on to a different topic.

My aunt came home and made dinner, Kara had joined us but left afterwards because of curfew. When I was finished I told my aunt about my day. She laughed at the parts when I mentioned hunting down Jack and him pulling me back into the bathroom and kissed me, the boys being upset that I spoke in French to Ross, and when Alex and I flirted to make Lisa jealous. I basically told her everything that happened today. She took it all in as if we were best friends instead of her being my guardian. When I finished up my story she told me about her day, “Today was really busy. I had to call all the hotels to check up on everything, and I have to fly out to all of them to see what needs to be changed and to see if we need to expand if everything is this busy.”

“So, that means like putting up more hotels?”

“Yes it does, I just don’t know where or how I would be able to do that.”

I thought for a second to see how it could be possible then I got an idea, “Well, you have all these big hotels at much known locations, so why don’t you put a smaller version of the hotel in more low-key areas.”

“That actually sounds like a brilliant idea Lucy. Do you have an idea of any locations?” she smiled hopefully. I laughed and nodded, “Yeah, actually I do.” And then I told her about different locations that not many people chose to go to for vacations. She agreed on some but the main decision would have to be made when she sees which place had space for a hotel. Then I added in that she should have another bigger hotel but more of a resort. She said she’d think about that one before we went over board with the whole thing and I agreed.

I went to bed shortly after, staying in the clothes I had changed into earlier and crawling in to warm place of my bed. I then pulled out my journal and began to write. This time it wasn’t to my parents instead it was to me.

Dear Lucy,

Wow, don’t I feel weird for writing to myself, but that’s not the point. I’m writing to myself to remind me the moments I have. Knowing in the future I could forget this all, but the slightest piece of paper could make all those memories come back slowly.

I know I lost my parents, the two people I hold closest to my heart, but I’m starting to realize that I have so much in front of me that I might not have to worry about much. Sure, I know I’ll still be frightened of being alone in a house, but I could out grow it, right? Well, I’m going to have to try at least, but not anytime soon.

I also wanted to talk about something very confusing to me. I don’t know how to explain it but it only happens when I’m around Jack and Alex. I can tell that they’re both really great people and I can feel a connection to them. But differently, you know?

When I’m with Jack I feel like I can be myself. He makes my life more exciting, more entertaining. Yes, he’s cute and yes, he’s an amazing kisser but I can’t help but to think what it would be like if I did chose him. What if I’m just another girl to him like Kara said. Or will I really be something different and change his ways? I don’t want to be used and feel cheated if he ever finds another girl. So, if I ever do want to give him a chance, will I get hurt?

And when I’m with Alex… wow, he always seems to brighten my day. His brown eyes glow every time I bring up his music, and he’s so down to earth and caring. He cares a lot about his friends and his family. I can tell he’s holding something back though when he talks about his family; could it be from the missing person in there family picture? Either way, I don’t need to ask or question it because I’m hiding something from him, actually to both of them. I haven’t told them about my parents and I don’t know if I can until I feel ready, just like Alex. He’ll eventually come around and tell me what he’s hiding and soon I can too.

I don’t know how I’m going to survive this last year of high school. I still don’t know if I’m even ready to take in the fact that everything I thought I had is slowly falling. Maybe I should change my perspective on things? Maybe it’s all just me not reading things properly. Geez, now I’m confusing myself, but that’s one thing I’m good at…right?