Slipped Away

"So Pittsburgh, huh?"

"Well, it's not set in stone yet but I've been ranked third and the Penguins get the third pick, so the odds are good that it'll be Pittsburgh."

"Well, shit dude! Are you excited?"

Was I excited? It was a good question. On one hand, of course I was excited. This was not only the chance of a lifetime, this was my dream becoming real. Within hours I would be drafted into a group of what were considered the best hockey players in the world. But you were sick, extremely sick, getting sicker every moment that passed by, and that scared the hell out of me. To think you were slipping away, and I was wasting my time worrying about myself. That made me less excited.

"Nervous," I replied, you didn't need to know I wasn't referring to the upcoming draft.

"Just don't wet yourself."

"Thanks, Ry. Your words are so encouraging."

"I do what I can."

"So let's say this Pittsburgh thing does happen. Would you maybe want to move out there with me, your mom too. There's a really good treatment center right outside the city. I'll pay for everything," I rambled on waiting for you to shut me down.

"Um, yeah sure, Natey."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not."

That scared me, you never agreed with anything. Just about as stubborn as a bull, even if it was the right thing to do, you just had to fight it.

"Wow, that's great!"

"Yeah, listen, I gotta go, I'm really tired. Good luck, Natey, not that you'll need it. I want you to know that I'm so, so proud of you."

"Thanks Ry."

"Bye, Natey."

You hung up.

xxx

"For the 2003 entry draft, and the number three pick, the Florida Panthers choose...Nathan Horton!"

Just like that I was officially part of the NHL. I was showered in hugs and kisses as I practically ran up to the stage to receive my Florida Panthers jersey with the number 03 on the back for the year. Reporters came from left and right trying to get a word from me but there was only one person that could make this moment complete, you.

After all the craziness was over and the Columbus Blue Jackets came up to make their pick, I slipped out into the hall and pulled out my phone. I couldn't wait to tell you that we would be living in sunny, beautiful Florida instead of Pittsburgh.

Most of all I couldn't wait to get back home to you. For the past two weeks I had been carrying around a small black box in my right pocket for good luck. I had an important question to ask you. A discussion with my roommate during the draft had come to make me realize that you were more than just my best friend, and you always had been. I figured out that not only could I never picture life without you in it, but I was completely in love with you. Soon I would have everything I ever wanted.

I dialed your number, hands shaking with excitement. It rang three times before you picked up.

"Hello?" But it wasn't you, it was a man. I didn't recognize his voice.

"Hi, this is Nathan Horton, may I please speak with Ryder, it's urgent."

"Hang on just a second," the man told me.

I waited five minutes. A weary voice finally spoke up, "Hello?" This time I recognized the voice, although it still didn't belong to you.

"Hannah? It's Nathan." I had always called your mom by her first name. She insisted on it.

"Nathan, honey! How did the draft go?" There was no enthusiasm in her voice, I didn't notice.

"Incredible! I'm playing for the Panthers next year! Listen, Hannah there's something I have to ask you. I don't want to live my life without Ryder in it and I want to ask her to marry me, do I have your permission?"

There was nothing but silence in reply.

"Nathan..." your mom started, and then took a deep breath, "Ryder passed away two hours ago."