My Guardian Vampire

Mike sat and listened to the recording. I was officially out of words, and going slightly out of my mind. I must have been- I was finding the silence kind of fun.

It wasn’t that I minded silence- God, no. But at a time like this, of course, under the circumstances- I should have been scared shitless. Maybe my mind was so overwhelmed, frustrating Mike became a way to deal with the stress, away to laugh off all the anxiety that was raining down on me like a ton of bricks.

“Would you get that smile off your face?” Mike asked. I only smiled wider, and he blew out an aggravated sigh, though there was a small smile there too. I came over and sat next to him as he worked, writing down random notes from what I had said. I began watching him over his shoulder.

“Give me some breathing room?” he asked, and I just smiled and shook my head. He chuckled to himself and sighed, putting his pad of paper down on his lap. “So far, all I’ve got is something about Battery City. Possibly purgatory. I don’t know what it means.” He hit his head against the wall, and I smiled weakly and ruffled his hair. He looked at me and smiled weakly.

I frowned; I wish I could help him, wish I could speak. I felt badly for putting him through more torture, more hell, more problems, more stress, more… Damn, I was a bad person.

I nuzzled Mike’s arm like a cat, playfully affectionate in trying to show him I appreciated. He laughed and squirmed, smiling widely.

“Hey, what are you doing that for?” Mike laughed. I ruffled his hair, and he messed up mine in return, causing me to laugh. I had never seen him be so playful—I guess we were just never really in a position we could be—and if there was a time to be, now was it. Now was when our world—or at least mine— was hanging by a thread, and that tension needed to be let out, or I really would go crazy. Or crazier.

I began to tickle Mike, and he laughed and smiled in a way I had never seen before. It was heartwarming to see him smile in that way, and I don’t think I had been more proud or amazed at someone’s strength. He had endured such a shit life almost as long as Billie, and he still handled everything- crisis situations, sad times, and even smiling with ease. I figured after so long, with so much pain, it would be impossible to smile.

But he still did.

In the least, Mike was my friend. But at these times… I really had to say he was one of my heroes.

Mike sighed from our tickle fight as he pleaded mercy. I smiled triumphantly and he laughed and stretched his arms on the back of the couch. I snuggled into him, content for a moment. A pang of guilt went through me- this wasn’t helping Gerard.

“But on the other hand, it is helping Gerard. Don’t feel guilty for laughing, Ali,” Mike said. I looked up at him, confused. He gave a brief shrug of his shoulders, and then rubbed my arm comfortingly. “No, I still can’t read your mind, but your face says it all. Not getting the stress out just leads to pure disaster. You’d break down, couldn’t do a thing. And then where would Gerard be? Even when he gets back, if he got back without your help, you being broken down would be heartbreaking to him. So keep your spirits up, kiddo. We all have to.”

I smiled and nodded, then abruptly hugged him tightly, squeezing him hard. If anyone knew anything about holding through difficult times, it was Mike. And he was right. Mike hesitated for a moment before hugging me back, wrapping his long arms around me gently. Ah, if it was the last thing I did, I’d lift Mike from the damn order. It still didn’t make sense why me, but now that I was thinking of it, I couldn’t ask. Damn it.

“I don’t know about you two. No offense to Gerard, since I haven’t seen him, but you guys would be a great couple.”

I looked up, and James was standing there. I figured Mike would let go of me, but instead held on closer.

“James, I appreciate it, but it’s not helping right now.” I looked up at Mike, and internally groaned. Oh God, I didn’t care if Mike said he could pretend, it wasn’t fair that I had to be around him all the time.

Instead of letting it go, James shook his head and continued. “Nah, man, look at the way she’s looking at you. Total concern, total care. I can tell.”

Obviously I couldn’t speak, but I was kind of offended, James’s words getting uncomfortably personal. He was speaking as if I wasn’t there. Did I disappear or something?

Mike suddenly looked down at me, his eyes sharp, searching my face.

I was indeed still there.

..And very close to Mike’s face.

I quickly turned my head and glared at James; didn’t he know about Mike’s Order? Katy said she’d tell everyone. If he did know, he was playing all over the toystore with Mike’s emotions. I hesitated trying to pick up a pen and paper; we had tried writing, and even drawing pictures before. Though no more words came out of my mouth, I could still write something: Na. And only na. Just a bunch of times, na na na na na na na…

It was at that point that Mike had figured that this was not something medical, despite the cancer. Though medically not being able to say the words you meant to was very possible in certain conditions, the repetition of the words in both writing and verbal, as well as the block on my mind, had made Mike officially know that it was someone else’s doing.

I could only nod my head at this; if only he knew my dream. If it had been real, if it had not just been some crazy pregnancy-hormone or tumor-induced dream, and I had somehow been in Gerard’s mind, then maybe after Vincent knew I was there he had made it so I couldn’t talk, couldn’t say a word about all the things I’d seen… I still didn’t get the song though. Maybe Vincent had-

I jumped up, out of Mike’s arms. I hadn’t even been paying attention to what they were talking about, and God was I glad. Both Mike and James stared at me, and I just peered back at them before running off.

Mike was in front of me in the next moment, putting his hands up.

“Ali? Did I do or say something wrong? I’m sorry.”

I shook my head rapidly and hugged him tightly to show him things were all right. I then took his hand and dragged him to the couch room where I had put my sweatshirt last. I quickly dug the card, Vincent’s card, out before stuffing it in Mike’s hands, pointing to it rapidly. Mike looked at it confused for a minute, then stared up at me and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. We know he took Gerard.”

I mentally sighed, and dragged him into the living room so he could see me better. I waved my arms to make sure he was watching, and when he was, I sighed and began to mime. I rested my head on my hands like a pillow and shut my eyes.

“Okay… Sleep. When you were asleep?”

I nodded and smiled, then pretended to fall asleep again, then pointed to my head.

“What? The cancer?” I shook my head, and breathed like I was asleep, pointing to my head still. “In your head while you were asleep? A dream?”

I nodded and smiled, jumping up and down. Mike seemed to stifle a chuckle before nodding, then a look of understanding dawned on his face.

“Oh, you dreamed of Vincent?” I nodded, then shook my hand back and forth. “You kind of dreamed of him. Was there someone else?” I nodded again, and pointed to my heart. “You?” I shook my head, and pointed at my heart again. Mike took that understanding look again, and sighed slightly, as if the realization pained him. “Oh, Gerard.” I frowned and his face went stony for a moment, then he nodded.

“Okay, Gerard and Vincent—you dreamed of both of them. What happened?” I sighed, unsure of how to explain. I held up my fingers in the shape of a V. “Vincent.” I motioned to my eyes. “See? Vincent saw…” I pointed to me. “Vincent saw you?” I nodded. Mike thumped his fist on his palm.

“I get it! I don’t know why you had the song—maybe it was some kind of clue, some kind of calling card, or maybe something else—but you not speaking has to be from him.”

I nodded, and smiled. Mike smiled back, though it was weak, and he sighed.

“I’m not sure what to do. I could ask Tré… But…”

I raised my brow, confused. Mike came over and wrapped his arms around me, then kissed the top of my head.

“I think we should ask Damien.”