My Guardian Vampire

"Katy?" I asked, huffing out as I got up off the couch. "Bob? What's going on?"

"I can't sit here and watch Katy throw her life away, or my best friend's girlfriend fall in love with some other guy, or just... Any of it!"

"So you're just going to run away? Great plan, Bob." Her posture and expression alike were full of sass, but the alarm bells in my head were screaming out:

'Katy is in pain.'

"Stop!" I commanded, grabbing my head. It was starting to pound for some reason, like someone had just stabbed it. "Bob, stop talking." I then took a deep breath and looked up, to find Bob's shocked, shocked face. I looked around.

"What? What'd I do?"

"You... I think you just 'Ordered' Bob," Mike said, astounded. "Were you able to do that before?"

"I... I don't think so," I said. "Bob, speak.

"I hate you," he said aloud. Okay, maybe not the words I wanted to hear... But it seemed like it was real.

"Oh, do me, do me!" Frankie called out, raising his hand. Brittany whacked him, and he pouted. "Ow! Not like that! I think it's good to know. You should try Ray, too."

"Me?" Ray asked. "I mean.. I guess, sure.

"Ah... Frankie, get me a blanket. Ray, get me a pillow."

In a flash, Frankie and Ray were gone, and a second later back with blanket and pillow in hand, respectively. "That's so cool! Do it again, do it again!"

"I didn't like it," Ray said, shaking his head. "Not that I mind doing you favors, Ali, but... That felt too weird.

"It's not a toy, Frankie. I agree with Ray; I don't like it either. Why'd that happen all of a sudden?"

"Their makers might suddenly have shifted towards you, Ali. I'm not sure why."

"But... The girl that turned me is dead," Bob said.

"Dead?" Mike asked.

"Girl?" Katy chorused. "You didn't mention that." Bob blushed, scratching the back of his head.

"It wasn't... It doesn't matter. Like I said, she's dead. So it can't only be that."

"If she's dead..." Mike said, humming in thought. "Well, it's still possible that it's you yourself, Bob. Actually, I'd say that's the most probable, even if you claim to hate her. Usually however many makers it's removed from, the more you can resist. But you didn't even get a note out of you. You think she's the best to lead you."

"Well..." Bob said, and began to
Turn red—though whether it was in embarrassment or frustration, I wasn't sure. "Look, whatever the reason, that's besides the point. It doesn't change how I feel."

"Let me talk to Katy," I said, and as Bob opened his mouth to protest, I held up my hand. "Trust me to lead or not, at least trust me with my Gytha. C'mon." I took Katy's hand, escaping with her before Bob could say a word otherwise. Going into Billie's old room, I shut the door behind us. "I hope they'll have enough control to not listen in. Now, Gytha..." I then turned to her, and we sat on the bed. I put my hand on hers, frowning in concern. "We're alone. It's okay."

Katy then burst into tears, crumpling. She shook her head, and I let her cry for a while, not wanting to rush her. Both of us had been in this position before, and she knew I'd give her all the space and time in the world she needed.

"I don't want him to leave," she said eventually, taking in a deep sobering breath as she tried to calm herself. "You know what our family is like; we never can talk, never feel close. Other than you, Bob's the first one I've been able to share with. How can he not see I need to be here? How can he try to make me choose?"

"Gytha..." I trailed as I tried to put my words together. "...You know, normally, if any guy tried to make us choose between them or the ones we love I'd castrate them before they got the sentence out. But I don't think that's what Bob is trying to do here, so let's drop him from the conversation." I then took a deep breath, a slight pain in my heart as I continued.

"This is just about you and me here, okay? Not about Bob, Gerard, or any of them." She nodded and sat up, wiping her eyes some and sniffling. "I love you, Gytha. You know I love you so much, and I always want you with me. And I know you always will be with me. But... I can't let you stay here." I paused a beat to let it sink in. As Katy's face turned from one of shock to one of indignation, I quickly continued. "You have a life beyond this insanity. You're smart enough to go to practically any college you choose. You've been saving up for college—hell, you've been saving up for retirement since we were kids. You had a life plan. And if you missed out on it-"

"But this is life or death, Gytha. I can't just sit there when-"

"Yes, but living with an abusive parent was life or death. Having a strange, kidnapping vampire was life or death. Billie was life or death. Cancer is life or death. Hell, even if things were okay, this life with vampires—no, even life without them would be life or death, always. It doesn't mean you stop your life for it, because it just... Always is. What I need is my Gytha—my happy, thriving best friend. Sooner or later we'll all end, and it'll do no better for you to have a life spent waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"If you're sad—or if I'm sad—"

"Then we text, call, or worse comes to worst, take a train ride or a boyfriend ride to come see each other. This isn't us abandoning each other, Gytha. We couldn't if we tried, you know that."

"...I do know. But, to be honest, I'm scared Ali. I never really got to process graduating, and yet, college is right here at my feet."

"I understand, Gytha. But I think now is the time to process." Katy nodded, some tears still falling as she hugged me, her hold tight and secure.

"I don't want to leave you. I'll miss you, Gytha." I swallowed hard.

"I'll miss you too, Gytha. So fucking much, you have no idea." For all my bravado and reasoning, I suddenly felt a deep pain in my heart. I didn't want to let her go; I wanted to be selfish, to tell Bob to fuck off and to just hold onto my best friend for as long as I could. But he was right. The logical side of me was right. I had to let her go—I had to let them go.

"C'mon," I said, taking her hand. Leading her out, I made my way to the living room. My eyes immediately went to Bob, who was still agitated, though appeared to be keeping it to himself. Looking at my various friends, I felt my face cringe as I spoke. "Guys... I'm kicking you out."

"What the fuck?" Brittany exclaimed. "Has the money gone to your head? Bitch, I am not afraid to slap a pregnant lady."

"What Ali means is that…” Katy trailed, searching for the words. “Well, I’m leaving. I love Ali, and I’m going to continue to do so, but…”

“But Katy—and all of you—have lives to live. Katy should be on her way to college, and you guys should be getting ready soon to do the same, or to start the rest of your lives. You can’t do that just sitting here, waiting for news-”

“And we can support Ali from afar. If we need to come up, we can. I love her as much as you do, but… Sitting here isn’t helping anyone.” Katy rubbed her arm, frowning softly. I was wondering if she felt a little guilty—and, if so, I hoped it would pass soon. I really thought this was the right thing to do.

I saw Casey and Ray exchange glances. After a moment, Casey spoke. “I… I suppose you’re right. I feel pretty shitting saying that, though…” I moved over to Casey, where she was sitting on the arm of the couch. It felt like the first time in a long time I had really looked at her. She looked tired, not her usual perky self, but still dressed in those bright, exuberant colors that matched her typical self so well. Compared to the rest of the bland tones of the room, she really stuck out like a beacon—one that didn’t belong here, not in this place. I slipped my arms around her and hugged her tight.

“Don’t, please. I’ll be fine—and if I’m not, I’ll let you know. And if you’re not… Well, I’d say that you know to let me know, but it’s been so long that I’ve asked. I’ve been a shitty friend, and I’m sorry, everyone.” Casey laughed, though it seemed strangled, causing her to cough before speaking.

“Maybe… But I know you’d do the same for me. For any of us. And that’s why we’ve been here.”

“And that’s why it’s time to go,” I said, pulling back and smiling the best I could, those twinges shooting through my heart again. “I love you, Casey. I’ll see you soon.” An errant thought than ran through my mind:

‘I hope.’

“Well, I think I’ll stay,” Jenn said, standing by James at the edge of the room. “I mean… I hadn’t really thought about it. Maybe at some point I can set up a fake name and take online classes or something. I’d really like to go to school.” She then looked at James, and I saw her blush—logical Jenn, unromantic and excitable friend Jenn blush. “Will you stay too?”

“Yeah,” James said, scratching the back of his head, his cheeks adjoining hers in color. His eyes then glanced over to me. “I mean… If that’s okay with the boss.”

“I’m not…” I trailed, looking over at Bob. “I’m not anyone’s boss. It’s not my place. It’s Mike and Tré’s decision.” Mike looked hesitant and uncomfortable, not looking at James. Instead, his glance settled on me, his expression conflicted.

“It is your place, Ali. That’s part of the deal. I know you didn’t sign up for it, and I know you didn’t want it, but that’s how it is. We’re reliant on your judgment too, you know. Especially considering I don’t know James at all—although I’m sure you’re fine,” he quickly added, though his expression really didn’t match the sentiment. I looked at James, also feeling unsure for a reason I couldn’t name—but then saw Jenn. Happy Jenn, despite all that had happened to her.

“Sure, James can stay. I feel like you and I need to have a talk, Mike, about that boss business though later.” Mike nodded.

“I don’t think we should go anywhere until the baby is born,” Brittany said, looking to Frankie. “It might be a little more dangerous here, but… there’s much better healthcare here in the city, I think. At least it’s easier to get to. The rest of my life was on pause with the baby coming after until after it’s born. After that, we’ll go back home.” Brittany then looked to me. “What… What about you, Ali? Will you be going home after all of this?”

“I…” I began, and could suddenly see Mike’s head perk up in my peripheral, making me pause. Although I desperately wanted to be home, leaving Mike and Tré here felt… wrong, oddly. “I don’t know,” I admitted, deciding it best to leave it undetermined for now. “We’ll see if there is an after.”

“Of course there will be,” Casey said, optimistic as always. “And when there is, we’ll be back home, waiting. We love you, Ali.”

“I love you all too,” I said, feeling pain in my heart once more. Attempting to breathe through it, I just sat and watched as my four dear, dear friends spent the day packing up their things up to leave. I kept doing the only thing I could do: remind myself it was for good.

‘This is how it needs to be, it’s the best for them, it’ll be okay…’

All too quickly, they were ready by nightfall. I was exhausted by that point—as I'm sure were they all—but it seemed like the right time; delaying it too long would have let the anxiety and hurt in my heart drive me crazy. We said our goodbyes—and I couldn’t help but wonder, deep down in the fear-pit of my stomach, if I’d ever see them again. No more giant Rayfro bouncing as Ray shook his head at my antics, no more exuberant Casey to color my world, never getting to watch Bob’s flustered face, or the kindness he could exude when he wasn’t upset… And Katy. Never seeing my Gytha again…

‘Never coming home, never coming home…’ That’s what Gerard had sang. It was only now that I could feel the words settling in to a deeper understanding in my mind. It felt horrible… But I knew it had to be done.

“Goodbye, Gytha,” I said. I’d saved her farewell for last, as I knew it’d be the most painful. Hugging her tightly, I could feel my heart desperately urge me to give into my selfishness once more, to stop her and beg her to stay, say that I needed her, anything—but I forced my mouth tightly shut, teeth hard against teeth.

“I love you,” she said, and I could only nod in response as she pulled away. “I’ll see you soon.” Again, I could only remain silent, nodding in agreement. The four picked up their things and moved out the door, waving as they left into the night. I watched them close the door—the same one I had watched Billie Joe leave through, out into the night where I first saw him, more than a year ago now. I stood still, feeling unable to move, until it was fully closed.

It was only then that I let the feeling truly hit me: they were gone.