My Guardian Vampire

Gerard and I sat on the bed as we talked, eventually lying down together as we got more tired. As time wore on, I couldn’t keep my eyes open for long periods of time, only opening them to study his reaction for something I said. Every time I would open my eyes to do this he would always be watching me contently, a small smile playing at his lips, making my stomach lurch in a good way and causing me to smile slightly before closing my eyes again.

I eventually yawned, not being able to contain my sleepiness. Gerard kissed me on the head, laughing slightly, but ended up yawning himself. I laughed at him now, kissing his cheek and resting my head on his stomach. He entwined his lengthy fingers with mine, looking down at me again as I started to become very sleepy. I smiled; this was more like the Gerard I knew. During our talk the lewd Gerard I had seen in the middle of the night had disappeared; I was thoroughly convinced I had to have dreamt that, too. I had even stretched once before and yawned in the same way, and not even a flicker of recognition of that fight had entered his face. I determined I must have been dreaming again that night.

'Man, my dreams must be from something I've been eating. I gotta lay off the junk food.'

I looked up at him and smiled, and he smiled back in a way that sent a weird warm sensation to my heart. I had never felt anything like it before; it made my veins ache in a weirdly good way, warm in the perfect way like hot coco after a cold day. I yawned again, the effect of the warm just furthering my drowsiness.

"Mind if I sing you a song I'm working on?" he then said, smiling sleepily himself.

"Yeah, 'cause then I'll fall asleep," I mumbled. "I wanna stay up with you..." I said, shutting my eyes.

"Ok then, if you fall asleep I'll wake you up," he said.

"Okay," I agreed, smiling, my voice sounding like a little kid settling for a bedtime story. He chuckled softly, then began to sing:

"We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain clouds, move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day...
And through it all,
We'll find some other way...
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come to stare, or wash away the blood?

Well tonight, well tonight,
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days
Rocking out just for the dead...
Well tonight,
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake, anytime, in my head...

Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down...?

From the lights to the pavement...
From the van to the floor...
From backstage to the doctor...
From the Earth to the morgue...
Morgue, morgue, morgue...

Well tonight,
Will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days
Rocking out just for the dead
Well tonight...
Will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime in my head...

All fall down
Well after all..."

I had managed to stay awake for the whole song, it's sad and sweet tone was matching to the one at the dock. Though slightly different, both songs made me feel tortured inside by this sadness of something that I could not comprehend. I had sensed it all throughout our discussion; something avoided, but distinctly there, settling down like a predator beneath our conversation.

I was too tired to think about it longer as the words of his musical lament echoed in my head. Gerard took the blankets from the side of the bed where we had put them and laid them on top of us both. He turned out the bedside lamp, leaving us in darkness, and the even tone of his breathing as he fell to sleep started to lull my mind into a calmness. It was a beautiful song of its own, nature's best.

I eventually fell asleep, dreaming of nothing.

I woke up sleepily; Gerard's head was now leaning on my own, his hand still holding mine, his other arm wrapped around my waist. I smiled at this, my heart actually pounding lightly while seeing him sleep. I tilted up my head slightly, and he moved, now leaning on the wall, though he was still asleep. He looked so adorable, there were no traces of hate, or anger, or anything like that on his face, simply a look of tiredness, with slight circles under his eyes. There was no trace of my hit anymore; I guess he was a fast healer.

I looked sleepily at the clock, it reading 6 P.M. there was also another little letter on the side of the clock, a simple "T" staring at me.

'T?' I thought. 'What the frick does "T" mean?'

"OH MY GOD IT'S TUESDAY!" I yelled, sitting up and startling Gerard.

"What..?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes sitting up straighter.

"I missed school! My mom's gonna kill me for sure!" I yelled again, standing up.
'Ohshishitshitshitshitshit what do I do?!?!?' I thought, grabbing my head and walking around, knowing in my heart I was dead. I was already figuring out what my mom would say for her alibi once she killed me, when Gerard interrupted my thoughts, wrapping me up in a hug from behind.

"Shhh, it's oh-kay," he said, whispering into my ear.

"No, it's not!" I said, trying to break his hold, totally panicking. I knew I was in for it this time, no way to explain myself out of this one. My mind slowly started to feel fuzzy, the fog, starting to set in once again. I tried pushing it out my head. "No!" I repeated, shaking my head. I didn't know why it kept coming back, but I needed to focus, I needed to worry about this, there was no way I couldn't.

"Shhh, Ali, just calm down. We'll figure it out, I promise. Here, let's go do something to make you feel better..." Gerard said, kissing me on the head. I sighed, and letting my guard down for that moment allowed the fog to come streaming into my mind, calming me down immediately, taking over. I started to relax, using the bathroom and trying to fix myself up the best I could, realizing my hair was wild from my ride the night before. Once I was finished and came out of the bathroom, Gerard kissed me once on the cheek, reassuring me, and took my hand and led me downstairs.

We walked down to the first floor, into the fancier living room of the two on that floor. Mikey and Frank were there, talking and laughing about something. But there were two other people sitting on the sofa...and at first I thought my mind had made them up.

"Brittany?! Grace?!" I yelled, and I let go of Gerard and hugged them both. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked, looking and Frank and Mikey, already knowing the answer. I studied them both, their eyes looked slightly misted over, not totally there. This concerned me, but the fog in my head pushed those thoughts out of my mind.

"Why weren't you in school today?" Grace asked, punching me lightly. I smiled towards her, feeling lightheaded.

"I forgot..." I said, laughing. She and Brittany looked concerned for a moment, but it flickered out of their faces, mimicking how my own had. Grace and Mikey sat on the sofa together, holding hands and talking, which almost scared me. Grace barely talked to anyone. Brittany sat on Frank's lap, them talking and giggling. I rolled my eyes at them, but laughed--okay, that was normal for Brittany. I sat on the floor, leaning up against the TV stand. There were plenty of chairs hanging around the room, I just liked the floor better. Looking over the intricate pattern weaved through it, I ran over its softness with the palm of my hand. Gerard sat next to me on the floor, surveying the room and then holding my hand, running his thumb over it, studying it like I was studying the rug.

"Why's your hand so cold?" I asked suddenly. Mikey, Frank, and Gerard looked at me simultaneously, scaring me slightly and making me wonder if this was a bad question to ask. They were silent for a moment, thinking and still staring at me.

'Okay, this is kinda weird...' I thought, and Brittany and Grace were looking towards Frank and Mikey, concerned.

"Bad circulation..." Gerard said, and I let it drop. Gerard then stopped rubbing my hand, letting it go, making me feel small twinges of sadness. He looked up, towards Mikey and Frank. "Where are Ray and Bob?" Mikey smiled.

"They're going to bring some guests..." he said, and Gerard smiled.

"Excellent," he said, now rubbing my hand again. He abruptly pulled me close, pecking me on the cheek.

"Why are all these people coming over?" I asked. It was strange to me for these people I barely knew throwing parties in what I considered my house.

"Don't worry about it," he said, and I had no idea how he knew what I was thinking. The fog once again pushed out the suspicions, starting to chop down my suspicion tree totally.

"Suspicion tree?" Gerard said, laughing. Frank and Mikey laughed too. I looked at him, alarmed as I could be with the drowning sensation in my mind calming me.

"How are you-" I began to ask, further fighting off the fog. Gerard suddenly looked alarmed, when the door to the room opened. In walked Bob and Ray, and Katy and Casey. This was starting to look more like my party than their own.

Once I saw Casey, my mouth dropped.

"Oh my God Casey are you all right?!" I yelled, standing up quickly, jumping over Gerard and going over to her. The fog was trying to calm me down once again, I felt it, but I totally ignored it. Casey looked almost totally pale, not anywhere close to how pale the guys were, but enough to scare the living poop out of me. Grace and Brittany looked concerned, but stayed where they were. I put my hand on Casey's shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

"I'm fine Ali," she snapped, surprising me. She stepped towards Ray. "Do we have to be here?" she asked him looking up at his face and holding his hand tenderly. I simply stared at her in mute horror. Ray nodded and look at me.

"She's fine Ali, just feeling a little sick. Don't worry about her," he said, brushing me off and sit down.

"Excuse me!" I yelled, totally pissed. I didn't care if I was totally overreacting; nobody told me who I should care for. "I'll worry about whoever I damn well please! Casey's my friend, and even if she's acting like a zombie witch, I will still care!" I shoved Bob and Katy aside, walking out the door and into the street. As I left, I heard someone say "Well that went well..." and the others laughing, just making my anger rise as I walked around the house, and down to our private wooden dock.

There were two of Katy's family's boats there; our little wooden one had been taken in weeks ago for the winter. I was debating whether taking one of their boats would be too rash a decision, when Gerard was suddenly behind me.

"Ali, are you ok? Lets go back inside, Ray didn't mean anything by it..." I said nothing, simply sitting on one of the rocks that separated the lawn from the water below. Some part of me tried to reason that I was acting childish, but the aggrivating block in my head was throwing off my emotional reasoning.

"I'll be fine, I just need to let my anger diffuse..." I said, looking up and lightly smiling at him, though he looked at me skeptically. "Really, I'm just a little stressed, bad headache." He nodded, and kissed the top of my head.

"I know. Come back inside soon please, we want to get started soon..." he said walking away.

"Started with what?" I asked, but he just kept on walking, smiling now. The bright lights from inside the house streamed on the porch as he opened the door. He then shut it, leaving the lawn in darkness.

I sat there and sighed, feeling my anger slowly dissolve. I groaned, and almost wished for the fog to be back in my head so I wouldn't have to think about what my mom would do to me. I then heard someone behind me, and I sighed.

"Gerard, what the hell? I thought that you agreed to leave me alone?" I said, turning around. Gerard sat next to me slowly, sitting down carefully.

And then I realized it wasn't Gerard at all.