My Guardian Vampire

Ugh. Monday again. Fuck Mondays.
Why can't all Mondays just die?
I made it to school, escaping out the door with Ben. For no reason this morning I was woken up by slaps and screaming. Gerard hadn't dropped me off any later than usual, so I didn't know what was going on in that lady's head. I mean, she got angry, yes, very much so, but there had to be some provoking to the madness.

Thank god I had Gerard to help me through this. I couldn't do it without him.

I went through my school day, oddly depressed. I didn't really get depressed anymore, at least not with Gerard around to make my heart pound and make me smile... I smiled dreamily just at the thought of him. My heart always leapt when I saw that heart-wrenchingly adorable smirk on his face.

A hand was suddenly on my shoulder, jarring out of my happy place.

"You ok Ali?" my teacher said. It was last period, and because it'd been hard getting to my happy place today, I didn't welcome the interruption.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I stated, my tone sounding harsh at first. I made sure my voice stayed level and even. "I'm just trying to shake off the Monday blues, you know?"

"Oh," the teacher said, withdrawing the hand from my shoulder. "I don't mean for this to sound weird, but I've been noticing some bruises on you lately..."

With these words my automatic defense went on, setting the shields on red alert. I grinned widely, the pearly whites always being my best defense.

"Yeah, I've been noticing them too. Especially when my brother has me on the ground in a hold," I laughed, shaking my head. "He treats me more like a brother instead of a sister."

"Oh, well that I understand," the teacher said, putting up her own defenses to cover up her mistake as she walked away.

Once I was sure she was far enough away from me, I let out a small groan, putting my head on the desk. I closed my eyes tightly.

'Someone kill me please.'

Why don't I just kill myself?

Woah. Woah. Woah. Those thoughts hadn't come by lately. I wasn't that depressed.

My mom doesn't even want me. That should be a clear message to get the fuck out.

'But I do have people that want me, don't I? I mean, Gerard, Katy-'

They don't want me. The only thing they want is to use me.

'They don't just want to use me. They're my friends.'

I closed my eyes tighter, trying to banish the thoughts.

Please. They just want an ear to talk to, a person to ask for a favor.

I didn't know what was going on with my head, but I knew I didn't believe this bullshit.

'What would Gerard want to use me for then? He never asks for anything.'

Hasn't asked for anything, not yet. But I know his love must be bullshit. How could he love someone like me? I could never be worth him, the feelings he gives. Why would he even bother to stick around me? He must be wanting something.

I became silent in my head for both sides of the argument. I knew I loved Gerard, but I never did feel worth him. I could never be worth him. But using me for something? That went a little too far over my head.

School was finally over for the day. The end of the school year was so close I could almost taste it. Only a few days left until absolute freedom, the freedom of being with Gerard.

The Gerard that doesn't really love me...

Oh god, not this again. I was officially going insane.

Ben drove me home, and I got ready to go over to Gerard's house, making sure I got my homework finished first.

The door busted open.

I guess mom was home early.