My Guardian Vampire

Billie Joe laid next to me, putting my headphones in his ears and turning it on.

"Ok, so what are they called?" he asked, scrolling through the iPod.

"Uh... Well, the name of the band is The New London Fire, but-"

"But?"

"...But I have it listed as "My..." I started, then mumbled the rest.

"My what?"

"My G..." more mumbling

"Spit it out Ali!"

"My Guardian Vampire!" I yelled, much louder than I meant to, blushing.

"Ok," he said, chuckling to himself lightly, a perfect smile playing on his lips. "'My Guardian Vampire' it is. Was that so hard?"

"Yes..." I said, putting my head face-down into the pillow.

"Hmm, what to listen to first?" he mused. He then smiled, slowly smirking. "'Vampires Will Never Hurt You?' 'You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us In Prison?' Some strange names here..."

"Hey, they're good songs," I admitted into the pillow. Fuck it, they weren't good, they were great.
My favorite.

"If you say so. Hey, do you mind if I read your mind while I listen to them? I'm curious," he said. He had asked it with such a simple tone of voice, as if it meant nothing more than asking me to go to the store to pick up some milk. Just that, instead of asking to do something that could kill me, that almost did kill me before.

"Uhh..." I said, raising my head from the pillow and looking at him. He just laid there motionless, patiently waiting for my answer.

I guess I had to sink or swim sometime.

"Sure... If my mind lets you, that is,” I said, clearing my head of any doubtful thoughts. I saw him smile lightly before feeling the fog in my head, light as a feather as it drifted around freely, making it hard to stay grounded.

"I don't like this feeling," I said, bringing my knees to my chest.

"Why?" Billie Joe asked.

"I don't like feeling not in control of my own mind..."

"Understandable," he said, turning and clearing the table next to him off, beer bottles softly falling on the carpet. He opened the drawer of the table and took out an iHome, placing it on the free space.

"You have an iHome?" I asked surprised.

"I... borrowed it from Mike."

'You mean you stole.' I thought.

"Exactly," he said, laughing. "Mike was always more into electronics than me."

He plugged the ipod into the dock, and turned it on.

"Cemetery Drive" suddenly blared through the speakers, making me jump.

'Oh shit,' I thought, not wanting him to see...

"See what? What don't you want me to see?" Billie asked, extremely curious.

"Nothing!" I squeaked, making sure my mind stayed blank. This was going to be extremely difficult, but I knew if I concentrated hard enough I could manage-

"Please? What's the point of you letting me read your mind if you aren't thinking anything..."

"Hey, I never said I would..." I said, and Billie Joe shook his head, turning to me.

"Pretty please? I know I can't make you... But please, one thought? It drives me crazy, not being able to know..." he said, leaning in and almost kissing me, making me dizzy.

'Well, I can't...One thought like that leads to more thoughts...'

"Please?" he said, and kissed me.
And the collision of your kiss made it so hard, made it so hard...

'Damn.'

Memories of the night of the concert arose against my will. Everything came back to me, flashing in my mind so quickly that I don't think that Billie Joe could have pieced every single part together, but there were definitely some that stood out: Gerard's brother in the forest, the first time I saw Gerard at the school, the first time I heard his voice...

And especially the first time we really kissed, on the cold floor of the school cafeteria...

Way down, Way down
Way down...

"Wow," Billie Joe breathed, breaking off the kiss. I felt tears come to my eyes, unconfirmed by the darkness as they were closed. "I knew it was him..." I thought I heard him murmur, though it might have been something else. Regardless, my eyes shot open, the waters receding.

"You knew what?" I asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"The Ghost of You" began to play through the speakers.

I never,
Said I'd lie and wait forever...

"What?" he asked, looking confused. "You ok?"

"Never mind..." I said, brushing it off though I was still suspicious.

"Why are you suspicious?" Billie Joe asked.

"I thought I heard you say you knew it was him or something..."

"Oh, well I didn't," he said, as if this would merely be accepted. I rolled my eyes, trying to playfully change the subject.

"Surrrreeee," I said, and then looked down. "So, what did you think of them?"

"They were... good," Billie Joe admitted after a moment. "What was the deal with that concert though?"

"Oh, that's a long story..." I trailed, blushing slightly. Billie Joe nodded.

"Can you promise to tell me later?" he asked. I nodded, thankful that he wasn't going to press the subject.

And all the things that you never ever told me…

It then became silent between us for a moment, and he seemed to finally notice the song. He looked over the iPod.

"'The Ghost of You?'" he read. "Sounds sad. What's it about—do you know?"

"I-I know what it's about... I was there kind of when he wrote it..."

"Kind of?" he asked. "Can I know, or do you not want to-"

"No," I said, "it's ok." He nodded and I closed my eyes, thinking back to the hospital.

At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies,
She dies...

There wasn't much to show, but Billie looked extremely concerned once I was out of my head.

"You were in the hospital?" he asked, rubbing my hand where an imaginary IV was still sitting, as if to rub away the pain.

"Yeah... That's part of that long story..." he nodded, sighing.

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me...

"Ok, I understand. You can tell me when you're ready," he said, still rubbing my hand. I smiled weakly.

"Thanks..." I murmured, and he kissed me lightly.

"So, how about that drink now?"

Could I? Should I...?