My Guardian Vampire

So here I was again, on the outskirts of New York City.
This time, I was in a train, heading away.
Funny how that happens.

I was later in the Providence train station, the same one I had left in, closest to my home. People were running around, continuing their lives, and any idea of vampires, or monsters, or whatever you chose to call them, probably meant nothing to them.

I know it was a cliché, but surrounded by these people I felt a deep aloneness, obscuring me on this tiny island.

I felt the waters of depression starting to lash at my feet, an entire black ocean staring me in the face everywhere I looked from my tiny one-step island, but I had no time to think of that.
I need to continue forward, my body instinctively propelling me to the only place I knew.

I called a cab, praying I had enough money to go to wherever I felt like going. I got in, starting to say my own address. I stopped.
I then began to say the point house on a second instinct, stopped then too.

That was right. No where to go.

"Hello?" the cab driver asked, not unkindly. I opened my mouth, an almost unfamiliar address popping out of my mouth.

Instead, for whatever reason, my mind chose the high school.
I sat there silently on long drive there, thinking of what would be the best plan of action. I didn't have much money, probably only just enough to pay the cab driver, and maybe I could hide out at the high school during the day-

"Excuse me, what day is it?" I asked suddenly, probably scaring the cab driver in the break of the sudden silence. She looked at me weirdly in the mirror, but I waited silently.

"It's Friday," she said, still looking at me strangely. I didn't want to crash, so I felt I should explain so she could get her damn eyes back on the road.

"I just got back from Italy, in the New York airport, so that's why I had to take a train to here. I didn't know what day it was today; I couldn’t remember the time change."

"Oh," the driver said, finally turning their eyes back to the road.
I laid back in my seat, happy that it was Friday. I could hide in the forest on the other side of the baseball field, wait a few hours around the school until everyone left, and then make it back to my house, wait till everyone was asleep, and go in and get some money...

'Ok, so maybe it won't work, but I don't have much of an option...'
I was just glad my hair was still black and red from when Amber and Tonya had dyed it. With my normal brown hair I would have been totally recognizable, though most people probably thought I was dead...

The cab driver dropped me off and I paid her, waiting until he was out of sight before I left for the cover of the trees. I had to walk around the entire perimeter of the field before I made it to the woods, my heart pounding in fear that someone would see me. It was September, and I was extremely lucky there weren't any kids playing baseball for gym. There were some kids in the soccer field, but that was so far away they definitely couldn't see me. I made sure I stayed in the part of the woods farthest away from them.

Until I saw Casey.

She dejectedly sat alone on the corner of the field, staring at nothing.

This was strange to me.

Casey was voted "friendliest," always spontaneous and jumpy even when she was sad. The gym teacher came over, probably asking if she was sure she didn't want to play, and Casey merely nodded.

'Holy shit, this is probably bad.'

She then stood and walked over to the rock we used to sit at during gym when we would have free days, under a small tree that had branches that hung down low enough to keep all sun out. We had signed our names there with some of our other friends a couple times, and almost had been savagely killed by a cougar (maybe it was just a cat that had come up behind us and scared the shit out of us).

It was far enough away from where everyone else was playing...

Without thinking, I began to walk deeper into the woods, past where everyone was playing, towards where Casey was sitting. This was probably going to get me caught, but fuck it; it had been a good run.

"Casey!" I hissed from the woods. She jumped, higher than I've ever seen her jump, and looked around wildly.

"Hello?" she asked, looking into the woods. I was hiding behind a bush, shaking, too afraid to come out in front of one of my own best friends.

"Please don't scream Casey," I begged. I stepped out, and she breathed in, her eyes going wide, but held in her scream.

"OhmyfuckinggodaAliyou'realivewhathappenedtoyourhairwherehaveyoubeenohmyfuckinggod-" she said, coming over to hug me, but I stopped her.

"Stay there! No one can see me..." I hissed, putting up my hands in defense of her hug, and she stared at me in disbelief. I looked around and hugged her once, quickly jumping back into the forest.

Casey started to cry.

"Ali, what's going on? I thought you were-"

"Shhh, Casey. No, I'm not dead. I went to New York for a while-"

"A while!? You were gone the whole summer!" she was starting to yell, possibly drawing attention.

"Shut up!" I hissed, and then tried to stay calm. This wasn't working well at all. "Casey, I love you, and I had to leave. I know it's hard to understand but there were some things..."

I didn't even know how to say it. I had literally gone crazy before.

"I just had to leave."

"Bull fucking shit. Do you know what's been going on with them? The guys? Gerard?"

I felt my heart begin to crack at his name, leaping like a dog out of its protective shell, knowing he was close, probably in walking distance...

"I know about Gerard and Bert, if that's what you mean," I said, and my heart immediately stopped leaping.

"How?" Casey asked, surprised.

"I can't tell you how, I just do."

"Ali, what's happened to you? When did you change your hair, where did you go in New York?"

"I...made some friends..."

"In New York?! How could you have been so stupid to go to New York? Why did you leave all of us?"

"I...I can't tell you that either Casey! I just fucking can't," I said, bringing my hands to my face.

"Holy crap Ali, that's a fucking nice ring," she said, momentarily pausing our fight to look at the ring glinting in the sunlight. And it was beautiful, not that I knew how or when he had managed to get it. I guessed he did have a lot of money or something, but I never asked, as I never really cared.

"Is that shit real?" she asked, and shook her head. "What am I talking about? I can't believe you-"

"It's an engagement ring," I whispered, looking down at it. The whisper was barely audible, but it seemed to silence everything, the power of it even lowering the laugh of the kids to a low murmur.

"You're kidding right?" Casey asked, laughing shortly.

I shook my head, and tears began to fall from my face.

"I'm engaged," I said, and more tears began to rain in the air.

"To who!?" Casey asked, and I saw her look at me wide-eyed through tears. I let my hair fall in front of my face, even the tears weren't enough to hide this overwhelming sense of shame I had.

"To a guy in New York."

"Ali, you've only been gone a few months! You can't be engaged."

"He's a vampire..." I mumbled, then put my hand over my mouth and looked at Casey. I didn't know if she knew the guys were-

"He's a vampire? What do you mean he's a vampire? Like Ray?"

"You know?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah... He told me before...But Ali, you're fucking engaged! You're only a teenager! Not even out of High School!"

"I know, I know. But he made the pain go away for a while..."

"Oh Ali," Casey said, and hugged me. I tried to get her away, but she wouldn't move. "Have you done anything stupid?"

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling like a little kid.

"Tell me. Vent while you can."

"I've been drinking and smoking a lot. Billie never buys the drugs at least, though he sometimes has to buy alcohol..."

Casey looked shocked, going pale, but she said nothing for a moment.
I knew I had to ask while I had someone to talk to I could trust.

"H-hows G-gerard?"

"Gerard's a wreck. Bert isn't good for him at all..." she said, and looked like there was something else she wanted to tell me.

"What is it Casey, please tell me..."

"Well... He's started to get into alcohol, and drugs too—not just pot, but real drugs. He’s been fighting with all the guys. At first, we put up with it, but it’s even been a strain on Ray and I—everyone is always arguing. This is our senior year, Ali, and everything is just falling apart. I don't know how you were, but Gerard's been getting just more and more into the drugs and out of his head..."

My heart broke.

"He can't...We weren't right for each other. He'll get over me," I said, hanging my head. Why the fuck would he be so stupid? How could anyone let him do that to himself, his beautiful self?

"Get over you? Ali, he keeps being torn between thinking you’re alive or dead, not just getting over a broken up relationship. We’ve all been trying to deal with it. We thought we lost you, for good. This isn’t exactly just a small thing, here. I don’t mean to sound not glad you’re alive—I’m so relieved to have my best friend back—but that was a really shitty thing, Ali. You could have called, texted—anything at all.” Her eyes watered up, and I felt guilt pour through me. She was right. Crazy or not—I should have thought of that. At first, I knew I was out of my mind, and maybe I had an excuse for then—but the rest was just selfishness, fear, not wanting to face what I had done. I opened my mouth, searching for words.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could say. No possible excuse I could come up with, none that would ever truly excuse—but an apology, for whatever little it was worth.

“I know. But, Ali, there's also something you should know about Jenn..."

'Jenn?' I thought, instantly alarmed. Jenn was one of our good friends, an extremely bright and also athletic girl who had the same stupid humor as me.

"What about her?"

Casey turned, the kids in her class starting to go inside.

"I gotta go Ali."

"Casey..." I said, looking at her pleadingly. I didn't want her to go, I missed her so much. I sighed, and retreated further back into the forest. "Please, just don't tell Gerard about me. You can't--it would break him." She nodded, but looked doubtful. "Please Casey, promise me you won't do anything. I know I'm not in a position to do ask for anything, but-"

"Fine Ali, just... I don't know. I need to know you're safe. I need to talk to you. I don't know where I would be able to..." The teacher called her, and Casey waved back. "Ok, there's a concert tonight at 6 here. I think you should see Gerard for yourself before you make any decision. We can talk then, especially about Jenn," she said, and we simply nodded to each other before she left, an alien motion between past best friends that disturbed me deeply.