My Guardian Vampire

I woke up in the dark, and turned around, still feeling very dizzy. I felt my flesh being indented by some kind of square. I fished out my slightly warm iPod from underneath me. I looked around, the whole room still one big carnival ride, but managed to find some headphones on the drawer next to my bed. My need for music was as strong as ever.

“Oh god, I feel like I’m in a freaking earthquake,” I mumbled to no one. I wished it would all stop, everything falling apart in my head. “It’s a fucking earthquake.”

I turned my iPod on shuffle, the light nearly blinding me. A familiar song began to play, and unfortunately it only added to my dizziness.

She had an earthquake on her mind…

Freaking perfect.

I almost heard her cry out as I left her far behind
And knew the world was crashing down around her
I sink now to the ocean floor
Because I know that we are more
But I’ve made this mess,
I’ve built this fire,
Are you still mine?

’Cause baby I’m not alright when you go,
I’m not fine-

I changed the song. I didn’t know why, but the band I used to love now made me uncomfortable. Something kept tagging at my mind…
Bert…
Choking me?
I must have imagined it, a bad dream.

Another song from them.
Changed it.
Another song.
Changed it again.
I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to listen to, but I wanted to listen to it, now, badly.

A song I didn’t recognize popped up. I quickly paused it, trying to read the swaying words on the little screen.

”The…The Jetset? The Jetset Life is…Is going to…is gonna kill you? ‘The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You.’”

Sounded weird.

I started it over and listened to it anyways, turning up the volume. It sounded familiar, and my heart began to race wildly. I became panicked immediately, unsure and confused by my body’s reaction. There was a small intro, and then the singing began.

Gaze into her killing jar,
I sometimes stare for hours.
She don’t poke the holes so I can breathe.
She bought the last line,
I'm just the worst kind
Of guy to argue
With what you might find.

And for the last night I lie,
Could I lie with you?

I couldn't breathe, and then the air came rushing back at me at full force once the chorus came, causing me to hyperventilate.

All right,
Give up,
Get down.
It's just the hardest part of living...
All right
She wants,
It all,
To come down this time...

'Oh my god, oh my god. What is happening?' I wanted to stop the music so badly, but I couldn't get my hand to move to the pause button.

I'm...
Lost in the prescription
She's got something else in mind.
Check into the Hotel Bella Muerte...

It gives the weak flight.
It gives the blind sight.
Until the cops come
Or by the last light.
And for the last night I lie,
Could I lie next to you?

All right...
Give up. Get down.
It’s the hardest part of living.
All right
She wants,
It all,
To come down this time.
All right...
Give up. Get down.
It’s the hardest part of living.
All right
She wants,
It all,
To come down this time....

Pull the plug.
But I'd like to learn your name...
When holding on,
Well I hope you do the same...
Awww sugar
Slip into this tragedy
You've smoked this chamber dry...

All right...
Give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
All right
She wants,
It all,
To come down this time.
All right...
Give up. Get down.
It’s just the hardest part of living.
All right
She wants,
It all,
To come down this time

Pull the plug,
But I'd like to learn your name.
And holding on
Well I hope you do the same.
Awww sugar...

The last line faded out.
And I screamed.
And screamed,
And screamed,
And screamed.

I felt someone shaking me, yelling in my face.
Then I felt my mouth being covered.
Only when I was slapped in the face did I stop.
There was more yelling, however. Billie was screaming at Tré.

“You good now?” Mike asked, standing in front of me. I guessed he had slapped me. He didn’t wait for an answer, simply turned his back to me, folding his arms and walking towards Billie.

“She’s stopped screaming,” Mike said dully, as if it wasn’t already obvious. He dropped his arms and held his back straight, seemingly focusing his gaze directly at Billie. He did not seem the least bit concerned for the cowering Tré, which I thought strange. They had seemed like such good friends—I had gotten the impression Mike would have stood up for Tré instantly. But now there was something different about Mike, extremely strange.

He did not seem like the same Mike anymore.

Billie, with his arm raised, lowered his arm slowly and turned to Mike.

‘Hey…He wasn’t about to hit Tré, was he?
No way, not my Billie.’

"Good job, Mike. Thank you, you can go now."
Mike nodded and left wordlessly, though I half expected him to salute and shout a "yes sir" before excusing himself out of the room.
Billie then turned to me.

"You feeling ok sweetie?" he asked, his scary demeanor gone. He smiled at me softly and I felt part of me warm over, but I was still horrified.

"You weren't going to hit Tré just then, were you?" I asked, looking past Billie to Tré, who had a stone-set face put on. Billie too looked at Tré for a moment before turning back to me.

"Sweetie, I would never really hurt Tré. I was just... mad."

"Why were you mad?"

"I don't like to see you hurt, that's all," he said, leaning over and hugging me. I knew I loved him, but for some reason I wanted to be away.

He somehow felt this, soon breaking apart and staring at me, reading me like the open book I was. I looked away, trying to close my own cover, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. I don't know where these feelings were coming from, but they were strange. I didn't like them. I liked Billie.

Billie then held my face, and I couldn't help but look at him and his beautiful, heart-wrenching olive eyes.

"Hey," he said, holding my gaze. I felt overwhelmed, just by those eyes... "I love you, really. Don't worry about a thing." I blushed and looked down to his perfectly carved lips and chin, surprised at myself for creating all this nonsense.

I smiled at him.

"Of course you wouldn't hurt Tré love, I know that." He smiled and nodded, kissing me on the lips once again before parting.

"Good," he said, and went to leave, but was instead kissing me once again, pushing me down. I giggled loudly.

"Billie, Tré's still in here," I whispered, laughing. Billie sighed and broke off me for a moment, sitting up but not looking at Tré.

"Tré, you can go now."

Tré left with a small nod and disappeared through the doorway, his tail between his legs. Billie went back down on me, and I pushed him away slightly as he kissed my neck. Something didn’t feel right. He still persisted, and I pushed him back.

“Billie, please, I don’t feel well,” I pleaded. And it was true, all I felt was some kind of want—an itching on my brain, driving me insane. It made me sick; nauseous to the point where I couldn’t take it. It burned my insides up with an uneasy fire that I just couldn’t take-

I pushed myself out from under Billie, and ran out of the room, down the hall, and to the bathroom. All the fire spilled out of my mouth in the form of vomit into the toilet. Billie was already behind me. My mind was on fire, the itching growing into a full tearing.

“Oh god, make it stop,” I pleaded to no one. Billie was standing there, watching me in my sick state. I flushed my sickness down the toilet, and whipped my mouth off with some toilet paper, and threw it away.

“Oh god, why do you have to get sick so close to the wedding? One fucking day to go, you couldn’t’ve held out for a little while longer?”

The wedding, the wedding, the wedding. All he cared about was the fucking wedding.
Well, screw him and his fucking wedding, I had half a mind to-

“Ali, you’re radiating bad feelings. What’s the matter, love? Still feel sick?”

“Sick? No, I’m feeling fucking perky, thanks.” My mind now had a raging headache. I didn’t mean to be mad at Billie, but angry words kept vomiting out of my mouth without my permission. I breathed in deeply, feeling dizzy once again.

“Ali, look at me.”

I looked at him, into his eyes, and suddenly felt dizzy, calmer. I didn’t even know what I was mad about—I loved him, this gorgeous, caring man that loved me back…

No, I didn’t. I loved someone else. I hated Billie, hated him for everything he’s done to me. But what had he done to me?

"Billie, what's going on?" I pleaded.

"Shh, you're just getting nervous. It's so close to the wedding, and I know it's hard to imagine, but this happens to everyone."

I shook my head.

"Something’s wrong. I know it. Something is very, very wrong." Billie looked extremely annoyed, angry even.

"Nothing's wrong. I promise you. I've been working for months and months to make sure nothing's wrong."

"Months and months? Have I known you for months and months? I can't even remember..."

Billie Joe suddenly knelt down to my height on the floor, looking at me directly.

"Honey, Ali love, all you need to know is that I love you. Is there anything you want, anything you need?"

"I want..." I said, concentrating for a moment. "I want Gerard."