I See Sparks Fly Whenever You Smile

Brook

I wanted to believe Alex when he told me he was going to be busy all day. But after all the time we've known each other, I've gotten to know him pretty well and I know when he's not telling the truth. 

I did my best to not let it spoil the day I was going to have with Mikey. I hadn't seen him in almost a year and I was beyond excited to get to do so. 

Originally, I said that he should come hang with me an the guys at Warped, get to meet everybody and see a bunch of bands that we grew up listening to. But when I called to tell him Alex could no longer make it, he decided we should go elsewhere. We could talk better that way. 

We had lunch and talked. He took me around a bunch of cool sites in Chicago he'd never got to show me before. And then brought me back to his new apartment for me to see. After that his girlfriend came home from work and we all got ready to go to dinner, where we talked some more. 

I was a little bummed when the time came for him to drop me back off at the bus. Any later and they would have left for the next city without me. 

"Hey Jack," I smiled when I climbed onto the bus and found jack sitting in the front lounge by himself with Home Alone playing. "Where's everyone else?"

Jack paused the movie and looked up at me. "Some are in the back playinglk a video game. Some are still hanging around outside. And the one you're specifically asking about went to bed."

I raised an eyebrow as I took a seat next to him. "Alex is asleep? It's not even 11 o'clock yet."

Jack shrugged. "He had a tough day."

I tried not to roll my eyes to noticeable. "Yeah. It must take a lot out of you to lie to your girlfriend."

"Brook," Jack sighed. "I think we need to talk."

"You're right," I nodded quickly, taking the seat on the couch next to him. "What's been up with you the passes few days?"

"What's wrong with me? No," Jack shook his head. "That's not what I meant we needed to talk about."

"Well, it's what I meant and I will, so talk."

"Why do you win?" he challenged me. 

"Because I'm a girl," I answered. "And girls always win."

Jack raised his eyebrow. "Are you drunk? Have you been drinking?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am not drunk, Jack. I had two glasses of wine with dinner but I'm not drunk."

Jack laughed a little. "Two glasses or two bottles?"

"Glasses. Now come on. What's up?" I pushed him. 

He was quiet for a second and it seemed like he was gauging exactly what he could and could not get away with saying to me. 

"I'm not really comfortable with talking to people about my feelings," he finally said. 

"Jack, I'm a guidance counselor. I get paid to make kids feel comfortable to talk to me ," I said. "Now tell me what's going on," I sort of demanded, hitting him in the leg some what gently. 

"Geez, Brook. Is that how you get your kids to open up to you? Physical abuse?"

"No. I save that just for you," I said, smiling up at him. "But for real. I want to try and help. I'm kind of obligated," I said, holding up my wrist where I wore my half of our friendship bracelet. 

Jack sighed and looked down at this own bracelet and twist it nervously around his wrist. "Zack's been seriously talking to that girl from Production," he finally started. 

I nodded slowly. "Okay. And you're jealous?"

"Yeah," he answered quickly but then shook his head. "No," he corrected himself. "Well, yes. I am," he decided. 

I nodded again. "Alright. And you're jealous because? Do you like her too?"

"No," he shook his head quickly again. "I don't even know her that well."

I sighed, realizing this was going to be harder than I thought. "Are you jealous because she's going to take away Zack's free time from the band? Turn into a total Yoko and break up the band?"

"No. Nothing like that."

"Jack. You need to give me a little more to work with here," I tried. 

"Look, I'm jealous of Zack in the same way I'm jealous of Alex and Rian and Matt and Vinny and practically every other member of our crew."

I nodded, something finally clicking. "If Zack starts dating this girl, you'll be the last one without a girlfriend."

Jack nodded, looking away from me. "It's pathetic, huh?"

"Of course not," I assured him, squeezing his knee comfortingly. "It's a normal way to feel."

He shrugged. "It's just that I haven't had a serious girlfriend since me and Holly broke up last year and I guess I kind of miss it."

"Who is Holly?" I asked. 

Jack took a desk breath. "Holly Madison..."

My face scrunched up slightly confused. "You dated Holly Madison? The porn star?"

He cracked a smile. "Not a porn star. A Playboy bunny. And yes, I did."

"That seems like such a -" I paused. "Wait a minute... I knew when we met I'd seen you before. I just thought it was from the band  it no! It was because on Holly's silly TV show, you were the boyfriend she would webcam with."

Jack nodded. "Yep. That was me. You actually watched that show?" 

I laughed. "It was more like I watched it with Jenn. She's got a weird obsession with reality TV. I think it helps her to clear her head from the stress of her crazy schedule."

Jack nodded. "Well, that was my last real relationship. And I'm not even sure how real if was."

"What makes you say that?" I asked. 

"There was always cameras around. And big glitzy Hollywood parties. And sometimes it just all felt like a show. I think she pretended to like me way more than she actually did. And I definitely liked her more than she liked me."
 
I frowned a little bit. "I'm sorry, Jack."

He shrugged. "It's okay. It's not like I'm incredibly damaged over it or anything. It just definitely makes me see how badly I want to be in a relationship like you and Alex or Rian and Cass."

I smiled a little. "Well, is there anyone you have your eye on?"He shook his head. "Not really. I thought Maggie, but she's not at all what I thought."

"Look. You can't force these kinds of things. I know that when I met Alex, the last thing on my mind was meeting a boy that would turn my life upside down and make me fall in love with him. But it happened. And I'm so happy it did." I said. 

He nodded. "It's not that I'm unhappy. Because believe me, I have never been happier in my life. I just wish I had someone else that I could share it with, you know?"

I smiled at him. "I know Jack. And it's gonna sound so cliche, but there's a girl out there somewhere who's perfect for you. And you'll find her when the time is right."

"You think so?" he asked. 

"I know so," I nodded. "Before you know it, it will be me walking in on you and you girlfriend having sex in the morning."

Jack laughed. "You knew that I knew?"

I shook my head. "Of course you know. There wasn't much covering it up."

Jack laughed again. "Alex thought I was completely oblivious and that I didn't notice."

"Well, Alex is quite oblivious himself," I said with a giggle. 

"You know how much he loves you, right?" Jack said. 

I nodded, smiling to myself. "I know."

"You want to know how I knew he was in love with you?"

I smiled a little mode. "How?"

 "Alex used to tell me all about his sex life. We're talk step by step detail of everything that happened the night before with whatever girl he was with. Even with Lina, granted it was a little less descriptive with her compared to his one nighters and we're talking about some juicy, dirty details and•"

"Jack," I interrupted him, holding my hand up. "As much as I would love to have another conversation about my boyfriend's past sexual promiscuity, do you have a point?"

Jack nodded. "Of course. My point is that Alex could barely tell me when you guys actually had sex for the first time, let alone any details about it. Like, I had just asked him where you guys were for the first time and he refused to tell me."

"It was at his house after the Prom," I told him, smiling a little. 

Jack nodded. "I know. I eventually got him to at least tell me that much. But when I asked about anything else he told me it was inappropriate to talk about a lady like that so I just stopped pushing the subject."

I smiled a little more. "So, Alex doesn't talk about our sex life with anyone?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't believe so."

"Wow," I modded. "I don't even do that. I've pretty much told Jenn everything. And Cass knows a big chunk too."

Jack's eyes widened. "Yeah. What did you tell them?"

I laughed. "Oh no way. You're not going to drag me into FBI conversation with you."

"Why not?" Jack frowned. 

"Because. I'm a lady," I giggled. 

"Right," Jack rolled his eyes. "And uh, that lady left the bus this morning quite ticked off."

"Can you blame me, though? He blatantly lied to me so he didn't have to go see my brother."

Jack nodded. "I get that. And I don't blame you. I just think if you knew the reason he lied, you'd understand."

"Do you know that reason?" I asked, my interest definitely peaked. 

"Of course," he shrugged. 

"Are you going to share?"

He paused. "I'm not sure I'm supposed to."

I sighed. "Jack. Then why are you wasting my time? I can go talk to him," I said moving to stand up and Jack grabbed my hand to pull me back. 

"It's Tom's birthday," Jack said and I snapped my eyes back to him. 

"Oh," was all I could say. 

"He didn't remember until his dad called this morning and he felt so bad. He thought it would be disrespectful to go see your brother. Especially after forgetting," Jack explained and I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. 

"Well, I sure feel like a jerk now."

Jack shook his head. "I didn't tell you this so you would feel bad. I told you so you would go back there understanding why he lied. You don't even have to tell him you know."

"How can I not bring up it, Jack? I have to apologize," I insisted. 

He shrugged. "That's up to you. But I don't think you should bring it up. He has a hard time with it enough. And if you, of all people, bring it up to him, it might set him off all of again."

I sighed. "Thanks Jack," I forced a smile after all this. "I appreciate you telling me."

He nodded, giving my hand a squeeze. "And thank you for listening to me be such a girl about the whole being single thing."

"It's okay," I nodded. "And I promise, it'll happen for you. I know it."

He smiled, pulling me into a tight hug. "Thanks Brooky," he squeezed me. "Just promise you won't tell anyone what I said."

I pulled back from the hug and made a face at him. "I can only truly promise I won't tell anyone but Alex. He noticed your mood too and was questioning it. If he brings it up, I can't not tell him. Girlfriend code..."

Jack laughed. "Girlfriend code? What about Bro code?"

She shrugged. "Sorry dude," I stood up. "I won't say anything unless he does first, okay?"

Jack laughed. "Okay. Goodnight," he waved and blew me a kiss as I made me way into the narrow corridor towards the bunks. 

I decided to change into my pajamas  before getting into bed with Alex. I did want to have to get into a big talk with him and then have to leave to change."

I pulled the curtain on the bunk back and found Alex asleep on top of the covers in the same clothes we was wearing this morning. 

I didn't want to wake him, so I just crawled into the bunk and settled myself down next to him. I lazily dropped my arm around his waist and gently kissed the back of his head.

I tried to force myself to fall asleep right then and there but it definitely wasn't coming easy. I didn't want to put the TV on or play with my phone because I was afraid of waking Alex up, so I kind of just laid there awake. With my thoughts. Which was a scary situation. 

About half an hour had passed when I felt Alex start to stir in his sleep next to me and finally he rolled over to face me, his eyes sleepily blinking open. 

"Hey," I said softly. 

"Hi," he replied, reaching behind him and flipping on the small lamp. He fished his phone out from under his pillow and and checked the time. "How long have you been back?"

"About an hour," I shrugged. "Just crawled into here about thirty minutes ago though."

He nodded, rubbing his eyes. "How did it to with Mikey?"

I bit my lip, really uneasy about discussing this. "It went really good. He was bummed you couldn't make it but he understood you had to work."

I felt Alex tense up at the mention of his earlier lie and I felt bad even bringing it up. "I'm happy you had a good time," he said sleepily. "I missed you a lot today."

She smiled sadly. "I missed you too," I said, pressing a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

Alex smiled and rested a hand on my cheek and guided my lips to his fully, kissing me soft and slow. "Love you," he muttered when he broke away from my lips. 

"I love you, too " I replied, ducking my head between his shoulder and neck as I cuddled close to him. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I was a jerk."

"I was the jerk, Brook. I lied to you. And I knew you knew I was lying and I just kept going with it. Jerk," he said, pointing to himself. 

I shook my head. I really wanted to take Jack's advice and not bring it up - but I had to. "Alex. Jack told me the truth."

His eyes snapped up to me. "The truth?"

I nodded. "He told me today is Tom's birthday."

Alex let out a soft sigh as the words left my mouth. 

"He didn't want to tell me. But I made him. He didn't want us to fight anymore. And I think after the whole Vegas thing, he was still feeling guilty, so he wanted to help. And he did. Because I totally understand, Alex."

He nodded slowly. "I knew you would understand. But I still lied."

"I know. And I wished that you didn't."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"Don't be. I'm just sorry that I wasn't around today to be there for you."

He shook his head. "I didn't want you to do that. I didn't want it to upset you."

"Alex, stop that," I said a lot more stern than I guess I intended. "It's okay for you to be upset about something. It's okay for you to need me to take care of you for once. I don't always have to be the emotional basket case in this relationship."

He nodded. "It's fine. I'm okay now".

"And there you go with the lies again. If I'm supposed to come to you whenever something is bothering me, shouldn't it work both ways?"

He sighed. "Okay. Fine. I'm not fine. I'm actually pretty shitty."

"That's more like it," I said, sitting up and looking down at him. 

He cracked a laugh. "Only you would be happy about that."

I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Talk."

He sighed again. "What do you want me to say? I forgot his birthday and I felt horrible. I'd never forgotten his birthday before. It almost felt like I was forgetting him altogether just because I was happy."

"That's not true," I said, linking my fingers through his hand and pointing out his tattoo. "You'll think about him every day."

"I know. I was just really thrown off by it all this morning. Especially when I was supposed to go see your brother it just didn't feel right. And please don't think that's anything personal against your brother, because it wasn't. I was looking forward to today so much..."

I leaned down and kissed him lightly. "It's okay, Alex. I understand. You don't have to feel bad about missing today. And you shouldn't beat yourself up for letting his birthday slip your mind. I'm sure Tom wants you to be happy."

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. "I know he does. But you know how I feel. I start thinking of how happy I am and the things I got to achieve in life already, and he didn't get to do any of that," he paused for a second to catch his breath. It seemed like he was getting chocked up and really trying to fight it.

"It's okay to feel upset about it sometimes, Alex. No one would think bad of you."

He nodded, blinking his eyes a few times. "Can we stop talking about this now? You've already seen me cry over this once before. I don't know if I can handle a second time," he said cracking a small laugh. 

I leaned down and kissed him softly. "I love you," I said. "And can I be honest with you for a second?"

"Absolutely," he nodded. 

"The night you cried in front of me was one of the most special nights I think we've shared."

"You do?" he asked surprised.

I nodded. "It proved how comfortable you were with me. And the fact that you could open up to me like that and seem so vulnerable, showed me how much you truly cared about me."

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "Not to mention it was kind of attractive."

He laughed. "Attractive? Me acting like a blubbering fool was attractive?"

I nodded. "It's sexy when a guy is in touch with his emotions!"

Alex laughed a little bit more as he kissed me softly. "Well, in that case, let's talk about the time I was seven and my dog died."

I shook my head. "Let's not. I can focus on other things about you that make you sexy too."

He smirked. "Well, there are plenty of those things."

I smiled. "So are we okay now?"

"Perfect."

"And you feel better about everything from today now?"

"One hundred percent."

"And you promise you will talk to me about anything that bothers you, even if it might upset me?"

He nodded. "I promise. As long as you promise."

I looked at him, kissing him softly. "I promise."