I See Sparks Fly Whenever You Smile

59

Brook

"What's over?" Cassadee asked and when I didn't answer right away, she turned her entire body toward me and asked again, more stern this time. "Brook. What is over?"

"Alex and I." My voice was so soft and distant, I was having a tough time recognizing it.

"What?" she gasped. "Why?"

I shook my head. My head was spinning and I really didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Brook, you can't drop a bomb like that and then turn into a mute. What the hell happened? Is it because of the bathroom thing? Did Lina say something?"

"They were together." I said, my throat burning as I tried not to vomit. And cry.

"When?"

"Lina said that he called her and told her whatever had been happening with them couldn't happen anymore. He called her right before they came home from Canada. Right before he officially asked me to be his girlfriend."

Cassadee nodded. "They weren't really serious at that time, Brook," she assured me.

"You knew?"

Cassadee suddenly looked like she may have seen a ghost. "I didn't really know what was happening. They're friends, Brook. They happened to be around each other a lot."

"Like New Years? And apparently in Europe? And probably every time he told me he was picking up or dropping off the dogs?"

"Forgive me, Brook, but why is this even an issue? I mean, you said yourself, this all happened before you were dating officially."

I shook my head again, wishing I was anywhere in the world but trapped in this cab.

"It's an issue because the whole time I was getting to know him and developing these ridiculous feelings for him, he was shacking up with his ex. And he had every opportunity to tell me about her. And he never did."

Cassadee sighed. "Don't you think that maybe you're overreacting just a little? I mean, come on? You know that Alex loves you. He'd do anything for you."

I shook my head again; it was beginning to make me dizzy. "I thought Josh loved me too."

"No," Cassadee shook her head. "This is not the same. Alex is not an asshole like that."

"But he used to be, right? Everyone and their mother has told me about Alex's sketchy past relationships. How can I really think I'm so great that I could change his ways?"

"Because you did. He would cut his own arm off before subjecting you to any kind of pain. You have to understand that."

"Why didn't he just tell me that he was still talking to her?" I asked, the tears dangerously close to spilling over my eyelashes.

Cassadee shrugged. "He probably didn't think it was a big deal. And I agree with you that he should have told you. But I wouldn't break up with him over it. Not after all this time and all you guys have been through."

I sniffled, wiping at the tears in my eyes. "I just don't know if I can trust him now. Every time he goes to get the dogs or drop them off, I'm gonna worry something is going on. Every time he's on tour, I'm gonna worry something is going on."

"That's ridiculous, Brook." Cassadee shook her head. "Alex wouldn't do that to you. I'm sure of it."

I shrugged, noticing the cab pull down Alex and Rian's block. "I don't know if I'm sure of anything now."

"Look, I saw them together when they were a couple. I saw them together after they broke up and Alex met you. And I saw Alex together with you. It's no contest, Brook, that he was happiest with you."

I sighed. "Then why bother with her at all? And while you bring it up, how come you didn't tell me?

Cass looked at me sadly. "I don't know. I guess I didn't think it was worth it."

"Right." I nodded, thankful the cab had finally stopped at the house. I dug into my purse to find some cash but Cassadee was already swiping her credit card through the machine in the back. "Just put yourself in my shoes, and tell me how you think you'd feel," I said, slipping out of the cab and walking toward the house. Before I went in, I stared at my car that was parked put front, trying to gauge how drunk I still was and if I could make the drive back to my apartment.

"Don't even think about it," Cassadee said, walking passed me to the front door.

I sighed and did the responsible thing and walked inside behind her.

I passed Cassadee into the kitchen and took my coat off, hanging it over a chair at the table. Immediately the dogs came running so I paid them a little attention before letting them out in the yard to do their business.

"Yanno, before you freak out over this, you should probably sleep on it and sober up a bit. Then mention it to Alex," Cassadee said, coming up behind me as I watched the dogs run around in the yard from the back door.

I shrugged. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And right then I don't really want to talk to Cass. She made this big deal now about me being one of her best friends. She should have mentioned this to me.

She sighed when she realized I was done having the conversation with her. "Look, I'm gonna head to bed. I have to catch an early flight back to LA so I probably won't see you."

I whipped around to look at the slightly taller girl. "You're leaving?"

She nodded. "Brook, you knew this. I kind of have the biggest singing moment of my life coming up in two days."

"Oh my God," I squealed, throwing my arms around Cassadee's neck. "I am so sorry. What a terrible friend, I am! Here I am whining and complaining and stressing you out when that's the last thing you need to be worrying about!"

"It's okay," she said, hugging me back. By this point, I think it was less of her hugging me and more of her holding me up.

"I'm so sorry," I said again, as she released me a bit and lead me over to a chair. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad a my stupid, idiot boyfriend."

"I know you are," Cassadee said, smiling sadly. "But you just have to remember that your stupid, idiot boyfriend loves you. A lot. Promise me that you'll sleep on it before you say anything?"

"I promise," I nodded.

I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes again and this time I knew there was no way to stop them. There were way too many different emotions flowing through me.

I was sad that Cassadee was heading back to LA and it would be forever until I saw her again. I was happy that it was pretty much a given that she was going to win the Voice and I knew how badly she wanted and deserved it. I felt bad that I spent most of the little time we had left together giving her an attitude. But mostly, I was sad because I knew that Alex loved me. There wasn't a question in my mind that he loved me. And yet he couldn't tell me about what was happening with Lina. And I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that thought left me with.

After my cry-fest ended, Cassadee only participating in the second half of it, I let the dogs back inside and said goodnight to Cass. I didn't say much about the Voice but I wished her luck and assured her I'd be watching.

I closed the door behind me inside Alex's room and smiled as both dogs jumped up on the bed. Peyton was supposed to sleep in his grate, but I figured for tonight, I'd make an exception.

I changed into my pajamas and washed most of the make up off my face. I brushed the curls out of my hair and threw it up in a messy bun atop of my head.

I crawled into Alex's bed and sent a quick text to Jenn letting her know where I was and that I left the party. In my hast to leave, I sort of forgot she was there. I told her to tell Alex I was home safely and that I'd let her know why I really left when I saw her next.

At that point my head was throbbing a bit more and I was afraid I was going to throw up. I laid back against the pillows, pulling the comforter up to my shoulder and prayed for sleep to overtake me quickly.

The once comforting scent of Alex that was inescapable in his bed currently made me feel even more sick to my stomach and I knew sleep would not be easy.
*****
Alex

How I got there, I wasn't entirely sure, but once I got back to my house, I was excited to see Brook. I was bummed when she left the party early and even though I could sense there was something wrong with her, I decided to drink more until that sense went away. I convinced myself that she went home early so she could prepare my bedroom with candles while she put on that lacy, barely there nightgown she showed me earlier.

I was a little disappointed when I reached my bedroom and found Brook fast asleep in my bed, surrounded by both my dogs. In that moment and decided that she really didn't feel well. I stumbled around my room in the dark carefully as I tried to change my clothes without making enough noise to wake Brook up. I was just about home free when I reached my side of the bed and stubbed my toe on the nightstand causing me to groan loudly and hiss "shit!"

The dogs started to move around when I attempted to crawl into bed. Really all Peyton did was shift positions so it was even more difficult for me to fit. This was why he usually slept in his grate.

I whispered to Peyton to try and get him off the bed. Or to at least move to the foot of the bed but it wasn't happening.

"Alex," Brook groaned a little while later, sitting up in a huff. "Are you incapable of being quiet?"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm sorry. It's just there's no room for me..." I whispered.

She shrugged and laid back down, pulling the blankets up around her. "Go sleep on the couch."

"The couch?" I repeated, a little confused. "Why should I sleep on the couch? I can make the dog move," I said, lightly tugging at Pey's collar but he wouldn't budge.

"It's fine," Brook insisted.

"It is not," I argued. "Where do you suppose I sleep?"

"I just said the couch," Brook groaned, sitting up again. She looked annoyed.

"I can't," I shrugged. "Jack's on the couch."

"So? Tell him to slide over and squeeze in next to him. I can't imagine that's never happened."

"You're right. It's happened plenty of times. But it can't tonight," I said, finding myself walking around the bed to Brook's side and sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"Why not?" she folded her arms across her chest.

"Because Jack's not on the couch alone..."

Brook blinked a few times before it clicked in her brain what I meant.

"Oh my God," she gasped. "Is it someone that we all know?"

I nodded slowly. I wasn't sure if now was the time toss a bomb like this at her. "It's Jenn..."

She gasped. "My Jenn... And your Jack?"

I nodded. "Yes, Brook. Your best friend and my best friend are all cuddle bunnies on the couch right now."

She nodded slowly, a sleepy, drunk smile appearing briefly on her face. "Well, it's about time they figured this out on their own."

"I thought so," I smiled, leaning down to kiss her but instead of her lips I met her cheek. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That. I went to kiss you and you turned away," I explained, all the alcohol from the night swimming around my head.

Brook sighed. "Can we please just get some sleep? We can talk about this in the morning."

"Talk about what?" I asked. "Brook, what's going on?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. Just go to sleep."

"I can't go to sleep," I huffed, standing up from the bed. "I have nowhere to sleep."

Brook shook her head again. "I can't do this now."

"Can't do what now?" I asked. It was dark in the room, the only light coming from the small nightlight in the corner, but I knew Brook had tears in her eyes.

"I promised Cassadee," she whispered.

I took a deep breath and tried not to lose my patience - which was hard since I was still pretty drunk.

"What did you promise Cass?" I asked.

Brook was quiet for a moment. I thought maybe she had finally passed out. But when she did speak, I wished that she had just passed out.

Her words were soft and quiet and sounded so much further away than they really were.

"I promised her that I would sleep on it before breaking up with you."

Her words hit me like a head on collision with a brick wall. I knew that she had to be mad at me for something but I never imagined whatever it was ending that terribly.

"W-What?" was the only word I could speak at the moment. I never felt myself sober up so quickly. "Is this about the bathroom? Brook, I swear that wasn't about-"

"No," she held up her hand and sat up fully again. "It has nothing to do with that bathroom."

I turned on the lamp next to my bed and looked back at Brook. She did have tears in her eyes. I started to pace the room. "What bathroom is it about then?"

Brook sighed. "Look. I was in the bathroom and I bumped into Lina. She told me all about you ending things with her before you got back from Canada- before you asked me to be your girlfriend."

I stopped pacing and stared at her for a second before I said anything. "What did she say? Come on, Brook. She's my ex. She'd say anything..."

"No," she interrupted. "She's your friend. She wants to be my friend. She invited me to use the spa weekend gift card we got her with her so we could get to know each other better. All the things she told me was her trying to talk you up."

"I'm just- I just don't- I don't understand what she could have said to make you want to..." I trailed off. I couldn't actually finish that sentence.

"You lied to me, Alex," she said, her voice the loudest it had been all night. "Point blank. You had so many chances to come clean about it but never did."

"I guess I didn't think it was important..." I said slowly.

"Exactly." Was all she said. She had her arms folded across her chest and she avoided eye contact with me at all costs.

"Brook... I get that this looks bad. And I get that you're mad. But is this seriously something worth throwing this away? I mean... We have something pretty spectacular between us." I said, keeping my voice calm as I sat back down on the edge of the mattress and she shifted away from me again.

"This spectacular thing that you speak of, to me, has a foundation that was built on lies. If you didn't tell me that you were still seeing her how can I trust that you weren't seeing anyone else?"

"Because I love you. And I wouldn't do that to you," I argued.

Brook shook her head. "But there was a point when you loved Lina. And you did that to her."

I sighed. "Brook, this is ridiculous. I've been honest with you about so many other things that were worse than me hanging out with Lina"

"Alex!" Brook yelled and my eyes snapped to her face. "You lied to me. No matter what you say, that's all that's going to be in my head."

I ran a frustrated hand over my face and through my hair. "Can we talk about this in the morning when we're both not drunk? I mean - you're not really going to end this, are you?"

I expected Brook to irrationally start screaming at me with all the reasons why she really would end this. But she didn't. She was quiet for a few minutes. The only sound I heard was the occasional sniffle from Brook.

Finally, I couldn't take the silence anymore. "Brook. You're not really going to end this?"

Brook wiped the tears away from her eyes before she looked up at me. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I think I have to."