With Him

She mindlessly brushed the knots out of her dirty blonde hair as she stared at him through the mirror. He was sleeping comfortably on his stomach, making no sign that he would be waking up any time soon. She sighed heavily as she lowered her eyes away from his reflection and placed the brush down on the bathroom counter. She wondered how it got to this point; how unhappy she had become with her marriage. As she walked across the room, she grabbed her purse and quietly opened the door, as to not wake him.

“You’re leaving already?” he asked.

She froze in place and tensed up as she heard his voice. She slowly turned around to face him and weakly smiled at him. “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of work and an article to finish,” she said with haste.

He sat up more and raked his fingers through his messy hair. The look he gave her was full of distress. “Sam…” he began.

Sam rolled her eyes. “What Brendon? What do you want from me?” she asked in frustration.

Brendon licked his lips and looked her dead in the eyes. “A divorce,” he said bluntly.

She opened her mouth to say something, but thought against it and hurriedly walked out of the apartment. Sam got into her car and sat there for a couple of minutes, not noticing the tears streaming down her cheeks until one landed on her arm. She quickly wiped them away and composed herself before driving to work.

Ten years. Ten years of marriage and she had been lying about how happy she was with it. She thought he was happy too, until the arguments kept escalating and the nights of not returning home became a routine thing. Even when things were calming down and they had finally started sleeping in the same bed, she knew that it was only a matter a time before the d word would be dropped. It just wasn’t the same when she was with him.

Sam sat in front of her computer, reading over part of her article that she began yesterday. Her fingertips lay quietly over the keyboard, unable to type a single thing. It needed so much work, but she didn’t have the mental energy to finish it or do anything for that matter. She exhaled a defeated sigh.

“Hey Sam, I need that article on my desk by five,” her editor reminded her. “Sweetie what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.” Sam hoped no one would notice.

She shook her head and gave her editor a half-hearted smile. “I didn’t sleep well, so I’ve just been yawning a lot that’s all,” she assured her.

“All right then. I’ll be seeing that article on my desk by five right?” Sam nodded her head. “Then I’ll leave you to it,” she said before walking away.

When she saw her editor was out of sight, she let out a frustrated sigh and dug her face in her hands. She tried her best to never let her personal life get in the way of her work no matter what, but this time it was too overwhelming for her to ignore. Sam got up and thought all she needed was a cup of coffee to get her thoughts going. Before she reached the coffee station, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Her heart ached when she saw who it was.

“Hey sweetie,” she said, keeping her voice calm.

“Hey mom,” her ten year old son Brandon replied.

“Oh honey, you sound so much better today. Make sure to take your medicine. Remind dad to give it to you,” she said, as she poured herself some coffee.

“Okay,” he almost whispered.

Sam knew there was something other than being sick that was wrong with her son. “What’s wrong sweetie?” she asked worriedly.

“It’s just that, I heard you and dad arguing last night and then I didn’t see you this morning. I thought,” he paused and she was afraid of what else would come out of his mouth. “I thought you and dad might get a divorce this time.”

It broke her heart to hear this from him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home this morning. I had to come into work early to finish one of my articles. And I’m sorry you had to hear us fighting,” she apologized, her tone low. “We’re working things out, because neither of us wants a divorce,” she lied.

Brandon stayed silent on the other end. She thought maybe that answer subsided his thoughts of his father and her getting a divorce. He was a smart kid though; he’d eventually figure out things weren’t going to change.

“You’re happy though, aren’t you mom?” His question had taken her aback.

“Um...sweetie, I have to get back to work. Get some rest. Love you,” she said walking back to her desk.

“Love you too mom.”

She set her coffee mug near the keyboard and quietly sat in her chair. She propped her elbows on her desk and clasped her fingers together, laying her forehead on them. As much as she tried to convinced herself she was happy, she wasn’t.

Sam felt the band of her wedding ring and put her hand in front of her to look at it. She gave a faint smile, took it off, and set it down in front of her. Marriage. When did it all go so wrong? Weren’t they happy before? Wasn’t there a time she was happy?

The corner of her lips curled into a smile as her mind started going back in time to a point when she was truly happy. The first thing that came to mind was meeting him eighteen years ago – she was sixteen and he was seventeen – when it all began.

March 2004

Sam entered her favorite smoothie place, hoping to finish her newspaper piece; she always seemed to be able to get her work done there. Yet the one day she really needed to get her work done, was the day it was packed. She frantically searched the crowded smoothie place for an open table.

Just as she was about to give up looking for one, a familiar voice spoke. “Those people just left. Might wanna hurry up and grab their table before someone else does.”

She turned around and saw it was one of the smoothie guys – the one who usually sang while he worked. The ‘a’ on his nametag was still visible, even though he tried his best to etch it out and replaced it with an ‘e’ to spell Brendon. She had to admit, one of the reasons it was her favorite places to come was because of him.

Sam smiled shyly and thanked him and started to make her way towards the table. “Hey.” She spun around once again. “Do you want the usual?” he asked, hanging the dirty cloth over his shoulder.

She nodded her head with haste. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

She quickly walked over to the empty table, settled in her seat, and sat her laptop in front of her, all the while watched as Brendon sang his way towards the back of the counter. She chuckled to herself and began working.

“Strawberry banana smoothie!” she heard after a few minutes of working on her article.

She poked her head up from behind her laptop screen and saw Brendon behind the counter holding her smoothie. Sam made her way to the front of the smoothie shop and placed her money on the counter.

“You can keep the change,” she told Brendon as she grabbed her smoothie.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I um…I also swiped these for you,” he said pulling out a bag of skittles from his pocket.

He saw her turquoise like eyes glimmer with happiness. “How did..?”

Brendon rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t want you think I’m some kind of creepy stalker or anything, but you’re almost always here, and I just kinda noticed you always eat skittles while you work. And today you didn’t have any, so uh… Here,” he said holding the bag of candy up to her.

She hesitantly took the skittles from him and looked into his brown eyes. Her heart fluttered when he smiled and an eruption of red flushed across her cheeks. A faint smile graced her lips.

“Thanks,” she said in a whispered tone.

Brendon shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s Samantha right?” he asked.

She nodded her head. “But I prefer Sam,” she informed him.

“So Sam, how goes your writing?” he asked.

She looked back at her workspace and then back at him shrugging her shoulders. “Probably won’t be one of my best pieces.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great. Your articles are the only thing I read in the school newspaper. You have a talent for writing,” he complimented, his words sincere.

Her smile widened. “You really think so?” He nodded reassuring her. “Thanks. That really means a lot.” He shrugged his shoulders, emitting that ‘no big deal’ vibe. “You also have a great gift. You have an amazing singing voice.”

It was his turn to blush. “That’s what I’ve been told. But uh…I’m glad you think so.”

“You know, I always see you in the hallways singing and playing your guitar. Have you ever thought about forming a band?” she asked before finally taking a sip of her smoothie.

He shifted in his stance. “Actually, the reason I have this job is to pay for practice space for the band I’m in.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “I should’ve figured you were already in a band. Have you guys played any gigs? I’d love to go watch you play sometime,” she said, her voice filled with excitement.

Brendon shoved his hands in his pockets. “We actually haven’t played any. I’m not sure when it’ll happen,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh,” she whispered.

“Excuse me Brendon?” He turned around and saw his manager staring at him and Sam. “You don’t get paid to talk to the customers. Now get back to work. The dishes in the back need to be washed.”

Brendon turned back to Sam and smiled apologetically. “I guess I gotta get back to work.”

She shook her head. “No worries, I need to finish my article anyways,” she said picking up her smoothie from the counter.

“It was nice talking to you,” he grinned.

“You too,” she smiled back.

As she got comfortable in her seat, ready to begin working on her article again, she took a quick glance at the writing on her smoothie and noticed something else other than the type flavor she ordered. A smile reappeared as she realized it was a phone number.

The memory slowly disappeared from Sam’s mind as reality began to reappear. She remembered how nervous she was about calling him, wondering if he gave her a fake number, but she took that chance and from that moment on never looked back.

So, when did it all change? Maybe when she got pregnant and married at twenty-five because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. The only good thing that came out of it was Brandon.

She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her hair, knowing she wouldn’t be able to finish her article at work. She got up, grabbed her purse and cell phone, and walked out of the office building. Her phone vibrated again and she thought it would be her son, but a different name appeared across her screen.

Sam reluctantly answered the phone call. “Hello?”

“I wish you hadn’t run out so early this morning,” Brendon replied, without a proper greeting.

“I told you I had to come into work early.” It was true for the most part.

She heard him sigh. “You could’ve stayed a bit longer so we could talk about you know what,” he said.

She could have, but it was something she was trying to avoid. “Well maybe I don’t want to talk about it right now,” she said angrily.

“But we need to. If I’m ever gonna happy and if you’re ever gonna be happy, this divorce needs to happen Sam.”

“If I could just -,” she began.

“No Sam, there’s nothing you can do to fix it. So stop trying,” he spat back.

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and swallowed back the tremble in her voice. “I’ve gotta go,” she whispered before hanging up.



It had been over an hour since Brendon had called Sam. He figured she needed to cool down and think about what he had said. If he hadn’t suggested the divorce, he wasn’t sure if it would ever have been brought up. It was time and they both knew it.

Just as he was about to sit on the couch, he heard a quick, low knock at the door. He didn’t even bother checking to see who it was and opened the door, not expecting it to be Sam.

“Sorry, I left my key here,” she said in a low voice before quickly walking past him.

He closed the door and turned around to face her, prepared to say something, but never got the chance.

“Don’t talk. Just listen,” she said assertively.

Brendon seemed surprised and did as he was told, digging his hands into his pockets, waiting for her to continue.

“Look, I understand why you asked for the divorce, okay? I tried. I tried so hard to keep it together, but you’re right, I need to stop trying, because it’s just not going to work anymore,” she said, trying her best to keep her composure.

“Sam I -,” he began, but wasn’t given the chance.

He instantly felt her soft lips pressed against his and her hands resting on his shoulders. When she pulled herself away from him, he noticed the tears running down her cheeks.

“And I love you,” she said without hesitation. “I’ve always loved you and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

“So what does this mean?” he asked, slightly confused.

She smiled. “I’m giving you what you wanted. A divorce,” she said proudly.

“What?” confusion still in his voice.

She nodded her head. “Yeah, we’re getting a divorce. Luke and I are done. The asshole already had papers drawn up and was waiting for the ‘right time’ to give them to me. I just, I just can’t wait for it to be finalized,” she admitted happily.

Brendon placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her face towards his, reconnecting their lips. “I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll be here for you and for Brandon. I just wanna see you happy again,” he said.

“Thanks,” she said placing her hands over his. “And I’m already happy and glad I don’t have to sneak around without feeling guilty.”

He smiled, loving the fact they could finally be together. “You know what?”

“What?” she asked.

“I am absolutely head over heels for you. I love you Sam and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together,” he said before placing a peck on her lips.

They embraced, holding each other for the longest time. Sam realized that’s what it was supposed to feel like to be with the person you love. With him, everything felt right. With him, she was happy.