The Outcome

“He said he’s gonna send me back to the reservation, Bray. I think he really meant it, he’s gonna put me on a plane and send me away.”

Brayden and I were up in my room, he came down and convinced me to climb out of the passenger seat and walk up into the house. Everyone one else was in bed so Bray and I cuddled together by the headboard. The only light in the room coming from the moon through a slit in the curtains. I felt weird. I had so many emotions running through my head, but at the same time there was a numbness settled right below the surface of my skin; locking me in place when all I wanted to do was run wild and feel something closer to nature like the rhythm of a heartbeat.

“I don’t think he’ll really send you back, Mace. He’s all talk. Besides, he’d be miserable with you so far away.” Brayden consoled me.

I took in a deep breath, letting the air swell my chest before I let it all out in a deep gust. “I feel miserable with him underneath me all the time. I feel like we’re always having this conversation, but nothing ever changes. I’m not fifteen anymore, I don’t love him the way he wants me to, it exhausting.” I confessed.

Brayden paused before speaking. “Well, have you ever tired giving him the benefit of the doubt? I think he really wants more than in your pants and being with the Alpha isn’t a bad place to put yourself…”

“You think I’m some gold-digging, social climbing, pack banger or something? If I’m with anyone it’s not for their status. Whose fucking side are you on anyway?” I cut him off; offended in a way I’d never been before.

“You know that not what I meant and I’m always on your fucking side, but your being really fucking selfish as of late. We are a unit, if one of us is going through something the pack as a whole suffers for it. When is the last time you've had a conversation with Graison of Max, huh? Thank Donovan for holding us up here in his house? You haven’t asked me what’s been going on with me lately either for that matter.” Brayden spat right back to me.

I yanked myself out of the bed, anger and guilt driving my words. “Fuck you, I haven’t changed at all. There wasn’t a problem with my lack of conversation when you were all buddy-buddy with Sam’s pack. As soon as I look for something outside of being this pack’s baggage, try to do something for myself instead of play damsel in distress for the rest of you it’s a fucking problem.”

Brayden’s breathing got deeper and deeper as he pulled himself from my bed and made his way to the door. He hardly ever got angry at me like this, but I was angry at him too, at everyone. “You know what, Macie? You know what your problem is? You’re still walking around all butt hurt that you’re not a wolf, with all the pure blood riding on your name, you’re just some defective power having little tag along to the rest of us.”

It would have hurt less for him to run over and punch me in my chest and the tears well up in my eyes, spilling over silently down my cheeks onto my sleep shirt. I stood there frozen, what could I say? Brayden; however, wasn’t quite down with me yet.

“And despite all the same you put on your parents, your fault or not, we still loved you and took you in. We never made you feel different just because you couldn’t shift, but you’re such a fucking teenage girl cliché. Crying over boys and high school and not appreciating what you have. Maybe Erick should send you back to the reservation, let you see how they think of you. They think your nothing and you aren't exactly proving them wrong right now are you? Fuck. This.” He swore and slammed his way out of my room.

I collapsed into my bed and sobbed, counting the minutes until I could be with Jacob again. A boy who didn’t know me my whole like, who wasn’t there to witness me at the worst point of my like, to see my face as my parents walked away from me, who never used me as bait, who liked me despite my abnormality.