The Outcome

Jacob and I didn’t go much further that night. Deciding that we’d gone far enough, he walked me back to the Clearwater house. Whispered wants and sweet desires exchanged, we kissed each other against the front door until Leah yelled at us to just come inside before the neighbors got a real show.

“No sex on the couch.” Leah warned us as she made her way upstairs. “And remember we have school in the morning.”

I slumped down on the couch and put my head between my hands, resting my elbows on my knees. “Ugh! School…”

“What’s wrong with going to school?” Jake asked me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Have you forgotten what happened this morning? What’s gonna happen when I see them? Will they attack me?”

“I don’t think they’ll attack you. They’ll probably just ignore you. But if they do try to hurt you I won’t allow it.” There was fierceness in his voice that made em wrap myself around him and rest.

Still, there was a ball of panic and uncertainty settled deep in my stomach. I could spend time with my boyfriend and pretend that nothing was wrong. I could pretend that I hadn’t left the boys who were the only family I had left, pretend that my visions weren't changing into something new and terrifying, and I could pretend that what I had with Jacob was made to last.

“Look babe, you've got me now. I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m not gonna let anyone break us…or hurt you. You’re just gonna have to face whatever happens tomorrow.”

“I know…it’s just scary.” I burrowed my head into his side, taking in his scent and willing it to make me brave. I felt his fingers slide over me until they made contact with my shoulders, pulling me back so I could look into his eyes.

“I understand how you feel, about building up the courage to face things and them not turning out the way you thought they would, the way you thought they should. There was a time when…when I thought there was only one person for me.” He paused to gather his thoughts and I waited silently for his confession.

“I thought that if I tired to manipulate my way into things, that I could make her love me; Bella. But I never let things just go with the flow; bad things brought us together, never anything good. But if I hadn’t stood up and gone for it I wouldn’t have learned anything at all. I wouldn’t have been heartbroken. I wouldn’t have met you.”

It wasn’t the confessing I’d expected, but I could see his point. Had I not just broke things off, I wouldn’t be here with him now, with people who could potentially become a new family of sorts. There wasn’t too much they could do to me at school, not out in the open at least. The people to feel my betrayal the deepest would be Erick and Brayden. My heart hurt with the though of their names.

“Besides, I thought my girl was tough.” Jake picked at my, pressing his lips to my forehead then standing up. “I’m gonna head out, it’s late. And Mrs. Clearwater really will kill us. I’ll see you and Seth in the morning. Bye Macie.”

We shared another kiss at the door, holding him close before letting him disappear into the darkness, going to lie in his bed and wait for the next day.

I lay in my own bed, again, staring up at the ceiling, going over Jacob’s comment in my head. I was a tough girl, wasn’t I? Images of me walking though the rain crying over a boy and begging for a place to stay rolled across my mind. Was I losing myself here in La Push? It had been weeks since the last time I’d trained or conditioned, weeks since I’d even been on a long run. Was I letting myself get week here?

I guessed tomorrow I would find out.

~*~

The one thing that I constantly found myself short of was time. No matter how many times I’d hurtled towards this outcome, time had always gotten the best of me and worked to the advantage of her. But this time was different; this path had churned out a girl so much more stubborn than the rest. At first it worried me, but then I saw I could use it as an advantage. She should have viewed herself as the magnificent being she was, but from what I could tell; her days were spent fending off the advances of someone who truly loved her and deaf to the advice of her real friends.

So be in then, no work from me on my part. Let her think that she is a disgrace, a freak of nature, instead of the true Alpha of every other worthless soul on the reservation. Let her build up walls that she couldn’t climb her way out if. From my position, I would always be able to see over the top.

At the school, she was holding herself quite well to have so recently broken with her pack. Surrounding herself with those other wolves gave her a false sense of security, but I knew better. In the end they would all leave her, but not before steering her exactly where I need her to go. The most hilarious part of it all is that I didn’t even have to do this part myself; she dug herself into this hole all on her own.

That boy she found herself enamored with would never choose her in the end, leaving her broken and lifeless. However; she is the opposite of lifeless, for my goal for thousands of year’s lives within her blood. I have waited patiently for a time so long, but this time…this time will bring my purpose to fruition. Maybe that had been my flaw time and time before in pursuing the girl with the outcomes. It was not about trapping her, or manipulating her, or tricking her. She could do that all on her own.

Keep going, Macie Cora Belle. You’re putting on a great show.