Secret

After several sleepless nights and days of consideration, I was almost positive I wanted to take Daniel back. As much as he hurt me, I missed him so much I was willing to put the past behind us. Daniel seemed to be genuinely sorry, and I know he was hurt just as much as I was. Still, I felt a tinge of hesitation. I really wanted everything to go back to normal, but I knew that it never would be the same.

Lying on the couch watching some pointless soap opera, I was almost asleep when my phone began to ring. Glancing at my caller I.D., I saw it was Kris.

“Hey Kris.” I smiled into the phone.

“Hey Nat, what’s going on? We haven’t talked in a while. What’s going on with Brent?” Kris curiously asked me.

”Well…don’t get mad at me, but I got myself into a big mess.” I confessed.

“Mess?” Kris asked.

“Daniel found me in Chicago, and I got caught in my big web of lies, and Brent got mad at me, and Daniel got mad at me too, and then I apologized to Brent, and sort of apologized to Daniel and Brent forgave me but said I had to divorce Daniel which shouldn’t be a big deal but it is to me and then just when I thought I was going to divorce Daniel he called me and asked me to come over for dinner so I did and we fought a bit but we started to talk about us and he told me how sorry he was and how he wanted me to give him a second chance and now I think I want to go back to Daniel but I don’t even know anymore.” I explained to Kris, not even pausing to take a breath of air.

“Slow down, Natalie.” Kris said in a soothing voice. “Why am I hearing all of this now?”

“I’m sorry, Kris, I’ve just been so worried these past few days I haven’t even thought about calling you.” I apologized.

“Well, who do you picture yourself growing old with?” Kris asked. I thought for a moment before replying.

“Well…I’ve always pictured myself growing old with Daniel. But right now, the only image in my head is of me growing old alone.” I admitted.

“Natalie, you aren’t going to grow old alone, you just need to pick which guy you want to me with.” He replied.

“I just can’t pick though, that’s the thing! Who do you think you think I should be with?” I asked, curious to hear my older brother’s opinion.

“Brent’s a good guy, I can see you with him, but I also see you with Daniel. I’ve always thought he was a good guy, but obviously he proved himself otherwise. I know Daniel loves you though, and I know you love him. I think you should go back to Daniel, but not without me giving him a special talk. No one hurts my baby sister and gets away with it...then again…no one hurts my baby sister…” Kris let his voice trail off, obviously just as confused as I was.

“Well, thanks, I guess.” I said. Just then my phone began to beep, signaling I had another call coming in. Sparing a quick glance at the screen on my phone, I saw that Brent was calling. “Hey, I have another call coming in, can I call you later?”

“Sure thing, Natty-boo, keep me posted.” I rolled my eyes at his nickname. Answering my incoming call, I prepared myself for a fight that was most likely going to happen.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey, Natalie…how are you?” Brent asked.

“I’m alright. What’s up?” I asked him.

“Well, I was wondering if maybe you’d be up for a date tonight?” Brent suggested.

“I’d love to.” I replied. It seemed like a bad idea, I had a feeling things would not end well, yet I wanted to see if maybe this could help me make up my mind.

“Really?” Brent sounded surprised. “Okay, well I will pick you up at seven.”

“Sounds like a plan. See you tonight.” I agreed, before hanging up.

I spent the rest of my day sitting in the middle of my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I wasn’t sure what look I was going for, so I ended up just sitting around in my bra and panties for a few hours, lost in my thoughts. I finally decided on a black dress, with a few studs on it. The dress was perfect; it hugged my curves in all the right places. I was in love with my shoes as well: they were sparkly red pumps. It was like ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz, but modern day.



I was incredibly nervous to see Natalie tonight. I knew I wasn’t the only man in her life at the moment, and it was obvious I had to step up my game in order to get her attention. I decided to go all out tonight, hoping to bring on the “WOW!” Factor. Natalie was something special; she wasn’t like all the other girls I’ve dated before. She was down to earth, funny, and incredibly beautiful. No wonder she was already married. I know Dan hates me: it’s obvious. I stole his girl. I don’t think I was wrong though. I didn’t know, not to mention he didn’t treat her right. If I were married to Natalie, I wouldn’t even look at another girl. I wouldn’t have to. Natalie would be everything I needed. I want to be mad at Natalie, but she has this effect, this effect that makes it impossible to stay mad at her. She has a mesmerizing smile, when she looks at you with her bright blue eyes, and flashes a dimple-y smile, it’s like you’ve known her forever. I’m crazy about Natalie, but I’m not sure how she feels about me.

Making my way up to Natalie’s apartment, I took a deep breath, nervous for tonight. I decided not to allow myself time to be nervous, and knocked on the door with little thought. Natalie opened the door, and I nearly lost my breath. She looked so beautiful.

“H-Hello, Natalie. You look…beautiful.” I stumbled over my words.

”Thanks, Brent. You don’t look too bad yourself.” Natalie responded with a giggle and a wink.

“I brought these for you,” I nervously announced, handing her an extravagant bouquet of red roses.

“Oh, wow! They’re beautiful! Thank you so much! That was too sweet of you. Come in a minute while I put these in water.” She smiled, before opening the door of her apartment a little more. I walked in and gave her a hug and quick kiss.

I followed her into the kitchen, where I found her bending under the sink, looking for a vase. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t check out her butt. Once she finally found a vase that fit her standards, she filled it up with water and carefully placed the flowers inside.

“How fantastic,” She stood back and marveled for a moment, before grabbing her purse. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” I agreed, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the apartment.

The car ride to the restaurant I made reservations to was about twenty minutes away. It only felt like three minutes with Natalie. We talked about anything and everything, and when I said something funny, she would let out the cutest laugh. I parked my car as close to the restaurant I could, with only a slight walk required. Opening Natalie’s car door, I grabbed her hand and led the way. When we finally arrived at the appropriate restaurant, I held the door for Natalie, and confidently walked up to the host stand.

“Hi, I have a reservation for two under the name Seabrook.” I politely informed the hostess. She scanned the list before glancing up at me.

“Certainly. If you would come this way please.” She ordered, putting two menus under her arm and leading us to a private table. I decided to take Natalie to a Japanese restaurant, remembering Natalie talking about how much she loves Asian food. The set up was perfect; a private hibachi table was set up for us, so we could watch the chef make our food in front of us, and the restaurant was decorated in tasteful Japanese art. Everything about it was simply sublime.

“Wow, Brent! This is fantastic! You really outdid yourself.” Natalie stated as I pulled her chair out.

“It’s nothing, really.” I replied back, trying to brush it off as something I had come up with last minute.

Very quickly, a chef came over to our table and began to cook. Natalie’s face lit up every time the chef did a trick of some sort. She loved it, and seeing her this happy made me smile myself. The magic show ended just as quickly as it started, and before I knew it, Natalie and I were surrounded by a surplus of steak, chicken, shrimp, sushi, vegetables, and fried rice.

“Nothing makes me happier than fried rice.” Natalie giggled before stuffing a spoonful of rice in her mouth.

“Nothing makes me happier than spending time with you.” I shot right back at her, causing her to blush. Just then, her phone began to ring.

“Oh my, I’m sorry! I thought it was on silent.” She apologized before quickly pulling her phone out of her purse. She glanced at the screen and her expression dropped a bit. I looked at the screen too, and saw it was Daniel calling. She glanced up at me for a second, then pressed ignore on her phone and put it on silent.

“Sorry about that.” She apologized again, a little less enthusiastic than the first time.

“It’s alright. Say, what is going on with you and Daniel?” I asked, curious to know what she was up to when I wasn’t around.

“What do you mean?” She asked me.

“How are things going with the divorce?” I asked. She put her fork down and looked up at me.

“Well…” She started.

“Well?” I repeated, unsure of what that meant.

“I haven’t filed for a divorce yet.” She answered.

“Oh. Why not? I thought you decided you were ending things with him?” I asked.

“I thought I was. But then he asked me to come over for a bit to talk things over, and so I did…He apologized to me and told me how much I meant to him and now I don’t know what to do.” She let her voice trail off. I sat there and stared at her for a few minutes.

“So you’re lying to me again.” I clarified.

“No, no, no. I was planning on telling you, Brent, but I wanted to wait until the right moment. I’m really sorry.” She explained to me.

“So you assume that I will be willing to share you with another guy until you can get your shit together and make up your mind?” My tone of voice began to get rude.

“No, I don’t expect that, I’m just so confused and I really want to make sense of things. I’ve never been put in this situation before, and I guess I really don’t know how to handle myself. I wish I could go back in time and handle things a lot differently.” She sighed. Just then a waiter arrived with our check. Not taking my eyes off of Natalie, I pulled my credit card out of my wallet and handed it to the waiter, who scurried off in an instant.

“How far back in time? Enough to have never woken up and thrown up in my bathroom? Enough to have never met me?” I asked.

“No, Brent, I am so glad I met you. I would go back in time to have us meet a different way though. We started a relationship off of a big mistake.” She said.

“A mistake? So that’s how you view it?” I let out a humorless laugh.

“Yes, Brent, it was a mistake. I was drinking to grieve my ruined relationship, and if I was sober, I’m sure I wouldn’t have let that happen.” She said.

“So we shouldn’t even be together.” I tried to get to the point.

“No, we should, I just, I don’t know. I really like you, Brent, I really do. It’s just…I have an entire life I left behind…and….I’m not sure if I’m willing to let go.” She sighed. The waiter came back with the receipt, and hovered around slightly, to let us know that he wanted us to leave so he could serve more customers she he could get more tips that night.

“Natalie…stay the night with me.” I proposed, knowing we weren’t wanted around the restaurant anymore.

”Brent, do you really think sex is a good idea right now?” She asked.

“No, Natalie, I just mean, spend the night so we can talk this out. I won’t give up on you easily.” I told her.

“Brent, I don’t know. I don’t think sleepovers are a good idea at this point.” She answered.

“Natalie, we have matters left alone that we need to take care of. Please.” I pleaded, grabbing her hand.

“Alright.” She sighed.



Brent’s proposal of a no sex sleepover went down the drain. As soon as we got back to his apartment, we began to fight, arguing over what I should and shouldn’t do. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but before I knew it, we were having angry sex. Lying in bed with Brent, I placed my head on his chest. Brent ran his fingers down my bare back, sending shivers down my spine. With nothing but the glow of the moonlight and city lights to fill the room with luminescence, I looked up at Brent, who looked back down at me.

“Natalie…can you promise me one thing?” Brent asked me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“No matter what happens, please don’t hide things from me, even if I won’t like what I have to hear.” Brent said.

“It’s a deal.” I agreed, closing my eyes, letting a feeling of exhaustion sweep over me.

I closed my tired eyes and listened to the rhythmic beat of Brent’s heartbeat. Brent ran his fingers through my hair, something that always relaxes me. I was almost asleep when I heard Brent whisper something that put me in total shock.