foREVer a part of you.

December 28, 2009.

I quickly sat up in bed. My heart was pounding in my chest. And it hurt like a bitch. Something inside me felt like it was dying. And it was scared and alone. Jimmy. Something was wrong with Jimmy.
"Jason. Jason wake up! Something's wrong with Jimmy!" I shook his arm. He shot up.
"What do you mean something's wrong with Jimmy?"
"Look I don't know. I just have this feeling."
Jason nodded and grabbed his keys off the bedside table. Together we ran towards the car.
I unlocked Jimmy and Leana's front door and bolted inside with Jason right behind me. Why did Leana have to go to her parents house? I threw open the bedroom door. Jimmy was laying motionless on the floor right next to the bed. I dropped down beside him. He wasn't breathing.
"Jason call 911, Jimmy isn't breathing!"
By the time medics arrived, all the guys where there too.
"Jamie what do you feel now?" They all asked me.
"Honestly guys, I don't feel anything. I feel dead inside."
There was a cough behind us that caused us to all turn around. "I'm sorry but he's dead. There's nothing else we can do."
Tears began pouring out of my eyes as Jason pulled me closer.

December 28, 2010.

It had been one year. One year since Jimmy had died. Since I lost the other half of me. The only man that would take half of my heart to the grave with him. I pulled my knees up to my chest as I stared at the headstone in front of me.
'Beloved Son, Brother, Best Friend
James Owen Sullivan
1981-2009
Jimmy jumnped into life and never touched bottom'
I felt a hand layed upon my shoulder. "Dear are you going to stay here all day?" I looked up at my boyfriend of 8 years, 5 monthes, and 14 days.
"Jason I don't know." He sat down beside me and wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulders.
We sat in silence for several mintues before he spoke. "You want to feel him again don't you?" I looked at him. "You want to feel his emotions again don't you?"
I buried my head in his chest. "I just want to not feel half dead inside. I want to be able to tell when he's upset or when he's happy. I just want him back."
Jason kissed the top of my head. "I want him back too."

Febuary 21, 2011

I played with the hem of my shirt while Jason crouched at Jimmy's grave. As Jason stood up I felt an unearthly amount of happiness rush through me.

July 14, 2011

I held onto the drink in my hand as I tried not to cry. Jason had gotten down on one knee.
"Jamie Lynn Sullivan after 9 years together I think it's about time I asked you. I realized that after 8 months of dating, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And after asking you parents and Jimmy and receiving their blessings; Will you marry me?'
The was a nervous feeling fluttering in my chest. And it was coming from both sides of my heart. Jimmy's side and mine.
"Yes." I nodded.
Jason slipped the ring onto my left ring finger and gingerly kissed me.

December 28, 2011

I held onto Jason's hand as we stood by Jimmy's grave. "Jason I have something to tell you." I paused. "I'm pregnant."
Jason smiled and pulled me into a hug. A surge of happiness filled me.
"Jason?"
"Yes, Jamie."
"I can feel Jimmy again." I smiled as tears began to fill my eyes.
He kissed my forehead and hugged me.
'You can feel me because I'll always be a part of you.'
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what Jamie?"
"Jimmy. I heard his voice."
"Okay your freaky twin stuff is starting to freak me out."
"But you're a twin too."
"Whatever. Me and Matt don't have the weird 'I can feel what you feel' thing going on."
I shook my head as a smile formed on my lips. 'Jimmy don't ever leave me.'
'I won't Jamie. I won't.'