Cold As You.

John walked back in looking a bit uncomfortable and Garrett finally spoke, "What is it?"

"So um, he's leaving tomorrow."

"What?" I managed to get out and he nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ugh!" I yelled throwing my hands up before stomping to my room. I was so angry with him and yet so hurt at the thought of not knowing when I'd see him again. Tears hit my eyes again for the millionth time. You think I'd be use to it by now. I sat on my bed trying to stay angry but I felt myself quickly crumble. I can't believe he was just going to leave like that. Like what we had was nothing. Like he could just go without caring. I pulled the cover over me as I laid down. I just wanted to tell him how much I hate him and how I couldn't believe he turned out to be this way.

I sniffled as I looked at the clock on my night stand only to realize one of Kennedy's shirts were thrown over the lamp. No. It was not going to go down like this. I was not going to be the one who cried while he was ok. I needed the last word.

I quickly threw the cover off of me and hopped from the bed. I slid on my shoes and quickly grabbed everything belonging to Kennedy and throwing it all into a bag from my closet.

I flew out of my room and John and Garrett gave me an odd look, "Where are you going?" John asked quickly.

"To give that stupid, stupid, fucking boy his shit back and tell him how much I hate his life!"

John groaned loudly, "Noooo. Come on! Don't do that shit!"

"Shut up." I grumbled leaving the two on the couch as I left quickly. I pumped myself up the whole ride there and I must have passed Pat and Kara because when I arrived they were no longer there. I slammed the door shut and stomped up the stairs angrier than I thought possible. I banged on his door and he yelled that he was coming before yanking it open. He froze once he saw me and I threw the bag at him causing it to hit his chest and fall to the floor.

"There's your things. Figured I'd make a visit since you're leaving tomorrow and all. Way to be a fucking grown up." I spat out and he just stared at me and I realized that he for once had no facial hair. He looked like such an innocent boy that if I wasn't so sad, I would have smiled because he looked like his 17 year old self minus the long hair.

"I hate you Kennedy Brock, because I love you, I love you and you're throwing everything way out of proportion and now you're leaving for weeks?!" I said loudly.

"You don't want me here Cassidy! Now you can be with Garrett and make everyone fucking happy!" He said raising his voice.

"I don't want to be with him!"

"Apparently you do."

"Stop it! Why do you have to do this? Why can't you just accept that I don't want anyone else?! You'd rather fight me all the time and us be apart?" I asked as a few tears fell from my eyes. Here I was cracking yet again. I was such a weakling when he was involved.

He ran his hand down his face and his eyes seemed as sad as I felt.

"I just need to figure some things out for myself Cassie. That's why I'm going."

"So...you don't want to be with me?" I asked as my voiced cracked at the words alone.

"What? Of course I do. You are the only girl in the whole world I want to be with." He said seriously.

"Then don't go." I fumbled out through my tears.

"It won't be for long. Just a few days. I need to just clear my head so I won't screw anything else up."

I just shrugged and forced a grin, "Have a nice trip, Kennedy."

"Cassidy!" He called after me which I ignored and picked up my pace now that the tears were blurring my vision.

"Cassie!" He yelled and I could hear him running behind me as I reached the car. I wiped tears away before turning to face him, "What?"

He grasped my arms as he stood in front of me.

"Cassidy." He spoke again a bit out of breath his time.

"Let me go." I whispered and he shook his head no, "Just listen to me. Please." He spoke softly and I just shut my mouth.

"I love you. I love you so very much. Whether you think so or not, I do. I've never, ever felt the way I do about you about anyone before. So yeah, it scares the fuck out of me. I just, I just need some time. Not from you but to clear my head and be that fucking boy you fell in love with. I want to be him ok? I want to be good enough for you." He said seriously and I shook my head, "You are good enough for me!"

"No, I'm not. I know how much you love me. I do. But I have made you cry more than anyone should. That's why when I bring up Garrett, I'm serious about it because I know he'd be better than me and I'm just worried you'll one day realize that too."

"But I love you. Not him."

"I know." He whispered bringing his hand to my cheek.

"Just give me some time to figure everything out ok?"

I nodded and he let out a sigh, "I promise I'll be back soon."

"So no talking or anything?"

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, "I hope so. Otherwise, I'll go insane not having you at all." He whispered brushing his nose against my cheek.

"Ok." I mumbled and he hugged me to him, "I swear I'll never make you cry again. I hate it and I hate making you sad because I just want to make you as happy as you make me."

"You do make me happy."

"I haven't made you happy since Christmas."

I didn't respond because I realized he was sort of right.

"It's ok. I know it's true." He whispered kissing my jaw, "and when I get back we're going to be together. For good. Ok?"

I nodded and he gave me a grin as he pecked my cheek, "I love you."

"You shaved." I responded trying to change the mood of this conversation. He smiled and ran his hand over his chin, "Yeah..."

"You look 17 again."

He rolled his eyes, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No. I thought 17 year old you was highly attractive."

He chuckled, "Of course you'd say that."

I smiled weakly as he touched his forehead to mine, "I love you. I love you..." he repeated closing his eyes, "don't forget that while I'm gone. Although if you decide you don't want to be with me while I'm away I won't blame you." He whispered.

"I'll always want to be with you..." I mumbled and he kissed my lips softly.

"Good. Because trust me when I say, you will always have me."

I nodded as I hugged myself to him, pressing my face into his shirt. He held on to me tightly and I closed my eyes taking in his smell.

"I'm going to miss you." I whispered and he kissed my head, "Not as much as I'll miss you my dear."

We stood there next to my car in silence for I don't know how long. Truthfully I didn't want to leave him and apparently he was having the same dilemma.

"Pat and I are actually ok now. Really this time."

"That's really good Cass. You two need each other too much to fight."

"I know." I responded forcing myself away from him. He gave me a weak grin and grabbed my hand gently.

"I do love you. I know I tell you everyday, I just don't know how else to let you know except by those simple words."

"They're not simple."

He gave me a small grin and kissed the top of my hand, "Yes they are. Too simple for an amazing girl."

I blushed lightly and he dropped my hand, "I'll be seeing you soon ok? I'll text you sooner though. I promise."

I simply nodded and he leaned in kissing my lips a bit desperately as he cupped my face.

"Seriously Kennedy, be careful. I love you."

A grin hit his lips and he kissed my forehead, "don't worry about me baby. I love you too."

I watched him walk away until he was out of sight before I got in my car. A part of me felt better yet a part of me still hurt knowing that he was going to be so far from me.

I took a deep breath before starting the car. I could do this. I survived tons of years with out him. So, surely I could survive a few weeks...