Cold As You.

Garrett and I arrived at Jared's and walked in on Pat yelling at the television set. Him and Jared were sitting in the floor playing a video game while everyone else was scattered about. I bit my lip nervously as I took a seat next to Kara.

"Well?" She whispered and I sighed, "Tell you later."

I would have told her then if I wasn't so busy looking at Kennedy who sat across the room from me. I couldn't help it. I loved him and no matter how sweet I found Garrett I knew nothing could change how I feel about Kennedy. Once Kennedy looked up at me a grin hit his lips which I couldn't help but return. Yeah. No one would ever make me feel how he does.

He stayed quiet in his seat and remained to keep his distance which I had to say didn't make my mood any better. I wanted nothing but to cuddle up with him on the couch and just let him hold me.

I let out a sigh and looked over at John who was doing something on a laptop. Garrett nudged me and I looked over at him. A grin hit his lips, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Mhm. It's cute how you think I believe that. So cute." He teased causing me to giggle.

"Shush."

He chuckled as he brushed his hair from his eyes, "Soooo cute."

"Shut up, Garrett!"

"No!" He jokingly shouted.

"Yes!"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed my side causing me to squeal instantly.

"I win!"

I slapped his hand away causing him to stick his bottom lip out and I tried not to laugh.

"You know you wanna..." He said smirking and I smiled, "Wanna what?"

"Laugh. So laugh." He said and I couldn't help but do just that.

"You two are idiots..." Pat said from the floor.

"Nuh uh!"

I laughed, "You sound like a child."

"I just might be!"

Even Pat laughed from the floor and John rolled his eyes with a smile, "Idiot...hey, where did Gar take you?"

"None of your business." Garrett said and John glared at him.

"No, Derek and them were passing through and I thought I'd introduce her since she loves them and what not." He said with a shrug like it wasn't a big deal.

"Oh, Mayday?" Jared asked causing a nod from Garrett.

Kennedy shifted in his seat before glancing at his watch. A part of me hoped he would stay although he wasn't saying much his presense alone was enough for me.

"Well, I'm going to go. I have an early flight so I should finish packing and all that." Kennedy said getting up and I bit my lip as his eyes moved to me.

"What time? We can take you, you know?" John offered and he shook his head, "It's ok. My mom already offered."

"Dude. So this is it?" He asked and Kennedy rolled his eyes, "I'll be back."

"I know, but still..."

Jared laughed, "You would think his girl was leaving or something."

"He doesn't have a girl so Kennedy is the next best thing." Garrett said causing even Kennedy to chuckle.

My eyes locked with Kennedy as John got up.

"Alright. Let's hug it out." John said forcing Kennedy into a hug which made me laugh.

"Ok man...let me go..." Kennedy said patting John's back.

"Getting creepy." I stated and Kennedy chuckled as John released him. He walked over to me and held out his hand. I didn't hesitate placing mine in his and he pulled me from the couch. He said bye to the guys before pulling me outside with him as I gave him a strange look.

"I wanted to say goodbye in private." He said placing his arms around me and pulling me to his chest.

"You're the only girl I love Cassidy. I just want you to know that. I'll never love someone as much as I love you. Just remember that everything I'm doing is for you." He said brushing his hand over my cheek and into my hair. I simpsly nodded in response because this felt like more than a 'I'll see you in a few days' goodbye.

He then took me by surprise and kissed me passionately causing me to go a bit weak in the knees.

"I love you Cassidy..." he whispered once he pulled back enough for me to catch my breath.

"I love you too." I responded and he kissed me once more, "Please don't be sad while I'm gone ok? That will just make things worse. Be happy, have fun with the guys, let Garrett drag you to a million Mayday shows."

I forced a sad grin and he kissed my cheek, "It'll be ok. You'll see."

"You aren't coming back are you?" I asked forcing back tears.

He cupped my face, "I don't know. Maybe. We will see."

I nodded as tears fell and he pulled me to him, "Hey...no...don't cry." He cooed.

"Why wouldn't I? I love you and you're just leaving and I won't see you for months."

"Won't you be selling merch for us again?"

"I don't know yet." I sniffled and he cupped my face, "I'll call you every day Cass. I swear."

"I don't see how you are so ok with this."

A frown hit his lips, "Cassidy, do you think I want to be away from you? I just know this is what we need if I want to be with you longer than a few weeks. Do you get that? I so badly want to say fuck it and stay with you, but I'd rather have you forever than just for now. I just have a lot I need to sort out with myself. You've done nothing wrong, Cass. You are amazing."

"Yeah but you don't realize this effects me too." I said through my tears and he cupped my face, "I do. I do realize it and I'm sorry but you know it's what I need to do."

I nodded and pulled his hands from my face as he watched me with a sadness in his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered and I kissed his cheek, "Have a safe trip Kennedy. Be careful."

He just watched me as I dropped his hands and went back inside not bothering to give him a second look. I didn't want to cry anymore.

All eyes were on me as soon as the door shut. I didn't speak just went over to Pat who pulled me into his lap and craddled me to him.

"He's not going to come back you know? And he'll stop calling and..." I cried into his chest and he shushed me.

"Yes he will Cass. He loves you." He whispered rubbing my back to comfort me.

"I don't think so. You didn't hear him."

"He will. Watch." He said before kissing my head, "Stop crying. It'll all be ok."

"Come here baby girl." John said now leaning in front of me and Pat.

I looked up at him and he gave me a grin as he pulled me from Pat.

"I just want to go home."

"I know. I'm sorry." He whispered as he laid with me on the couch. I closed my eyes as I relaxed against his chest allowing him to run his fingers up and down my arm as he sang softly to me which caused me to fall asleep in no time.

When I woke up I was still on the couch but the familiar voice of John had been replaced with one I knew as Garrett's. He was singing a Ryan Adams song softly from where he sat and once I had woke myself up enough I sat up to see him sitting at the end of the couch my feet in his lap.

"Oh you're up." He said pulling his headphones off his head.

"Did I wake you?" He asked seriously and I shook my head no, "No. It's fine. Where is everyone?"

"Oh they went to get food. They'll be back soon."

"Why did you stay?"

"Oh they're bringing the food back, plus, I didn't want to leave you alone." He said shrugging.

"Thanks Gar." I whispered with a small grin.

He nodded as he looked down at his ipod, "You know, if he doesn't come back before tour, I um, I hope you still come with us. Maybe that's selfish, I just, I like having you around." He fumbled as he fiddled with the strings of his headphones.

"I will." I answered as I wrapped my arms around him from the side.

"I'll try anyways." I added and I kissed his cheek.

"Then again, maybe you shouldn't..."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because maybe if you didn't, I could, you know, get over these feelings I have for you..." he whispered as his blue eyes hit mine, "I didn't mean that to sound as horrible as it did."

"No. I know. I get it."

He sighed and tugged on his hair, "I'm sorry for everything. I know how much you love Kennedy, and I shouldn't complicate things." He mumbled.

"Garrett. You aren't complicating anything."

"Yes I am..."

"You'd be complicating things if you tried something but you haven't so honestly it's ok."

He simply nodded clearly not believing me. I linked my hand with his which he surprisingly liked.

"If he doesn't come back, Cassidy...you should give me a chance because, I would be good for you." He whispered as he kept his eyes on our hands.

"Ok..." I responded and his eyes immediately shot to mine, "What?"

"Ok. I will."

I mean why not? If Kennedy didn't come home then I would question what I really meant to him anyways. If that happened I was determined to move on and Garrett was right, I could be happy with him. I'm sure I could fall in love with him.

"Ok." He finally said with a soft grin on his face. Our moment was interrupted by the guys coming back with bags of chinese food in their hands.

"Ready to eat?" John asked as I moved from Garrett who simply nodded.

"Hey baby girl." He said once he noticed I was up. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead after he sat the bag on the table.

I gave him a weak smile as he fell beside me on the couch.

"We basically bought every kind of chinese food available." Kara said and I laughed as she handed me a container of who knows what.

"Feeling ok?" Pat asked seriously and I nodded, "Yeah. Thanks to Gar bear." I said elbowing him lightly and Garrett stifled a laugh, "Ryan Adams helped."

I chuckled as I glanced at the boy beside me, "Maybe."

"Dude! Was this many egg rolls necessary?!" Jared asked glaring at John who shrugged, "Yeah...I can eat those all week."

We all laughed and I grabbed up a fork from the table. Although a part of me still hoped Kennedy would change his mind and stay, as long as I have them it would all be just fine.