Cold As You.

When I woke up Garrett was in fact true to his word. The boy was asleep beside me, his arm still over my stomach lightly. I rubbed my eyes feeling a headache from all the crying last night. I sighed and stared at him. He looked so peaceful and content. Something I wish I could feel. He must have woke up from me staring at him because his hand tightened on my side and he pulled me closer until his nose hit my neck. I didn't bother to speak I just cuddled closer to him.

"The guys all slept over last night. They were worried about you." He said in a rough voice.

"I'm fine..."

"Really? John told us what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"We don't have to." He whispered and I sighed, "They're going to want to talk about it and I don't want to."

"I'll make sure they don't say anything."

"Ok..."

He kissed my neck before raising up to look at me, "Let me go do that now."

I smiled weakly, "Thanks."

"No problem princess." He whispered before climbing from the bed. I sighed as he left my room and I managed to get up and change clothes before he came back.

"Ok. You're good." He said with a grin.

I gave him a grin before heading to the bathroom. Once I was finished getting ready I went into the living room where all the guys were sitting plus, Kara.

They all looked at me and I instantly sat in Garrett's lap. His arm wrapped around me and John who was sitting across from me was the first to speak.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked softly and I looked up at him, "No. I promise."

He nodded as he fiddled with his fingers. I couldn't be mad at him. If anything I should thank him for trying to fix everything when it wasn't his problem to fix.

"Why don't I go get us some breakfast." Jared offered and Kra nodded as Pat decided to go with him. I watched the guys leave and I looked back at Garrett.

"Did you know?" I asked clearly referring to what John tol me. Garrett sighed, "No. I swear I didn't. If I would have you know I would have told you."

I nodded and laid my head against his chest. Garrett was probably the most clueless of them all simply because we were so close.

"Let's all do something tonight." Kara offered and I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, but I knew that it wasn't going to be that simple.

"I don't want to." I mumbled into Garrett's shirt. Kara let out a sigh and Garrett rubbed my back, "I'll stay with her."

"No. Go. I think I'm just going to stay in bed all day anyways." I said giving him a weak grin before climbing off of him.

"Oh come on Cass, you can't do that." John said from his seat and I didn't bother to answer I just headed to my room. I honestly just wanted to be alone and yeah, maybe mope.

"Cassie?" I heard once I climbed into my bed and I knew it was John. I wouldn't dare snap at him like I would have if it was Pat.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't do this. I hate seeing you like this." He whispered crawling into bed beside me.

"I can't help it." I mumbled and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Try. Please." He whispered, "For me."

I buried my face into his chest and he held me to him.

"I know you're upset, I don't blame you, but you don't need to let him win and right now, he is."

I didn't respond just closed my eyes tightly.

"Can I not have a day?" I mumbled and he chuckled, "Yes. A day is granted."

I smiled against his shirt and he stroked my hair lightly, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." I mumbled clinching his shirt in case he tried to get up.

"Ok, baby girl. I'm all yours." He whispered.

A knock on my door caused my eyes to open and John turned to look at the door.

"Cass, Jared and Pat are back. Do you want some breakfast?" Garrett asked in a sweet manor.

"No." I whispered as I released John, "Go."

He shook his head no and Garrett spoke, "Alright. Well if you change your mind it'll be in the kitchen."

"Thanks..."

Garrett let out a sigh and closed the door back.

"Go eat."

"No." John mumbled returning his arm around me.

"John."

"Cassidy." He responded kissing my cheek and I knew I wasn't going to get my way so I let out a sigh.

"I'm fine." He whispered pulling me closer to him, his legs tangling with mine.

"I just want you to be fine." He added kissing my forehead and I closed my eyes. I just wanted that too.

I stayed wrapped up with John for most of the day. He sang to me occasionally and told me stories of his family which I appreciated the distraction from my misery. I think he was doing this simply because he felt horrible about his part in this situation. Usually it would be Garrett comforting me but I was grateful it wasn't because unlike Garrett my feelings for John were strictly on the same level as me and Pat.

"What if Kennedy came back, Cass?" John asked as we both laid on our backs staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't know."

"Would you forgive him?"

"I don't know. I want to say no, but I, well you know..."

"You love him."

"Right..."

"How does it feel to love someone that much?" He asked softly as he placed his hands behind his head.

"It sucks."

He laughed and I chuckled, "No. I don't know, it's frustrating and great all at the same time."

"When it's great, it's hard to explain. You're like on natural high and you wonder what it would be like if you felt that way everyday. I think that's why it never stays, because it would be unnatural to be so happy. What would be the point in living if you could feel that everyday?"

"True...but, isn't there a point where you ask yourself, is it worth it?"

"It is though. Just wait John. You'll see."

"After being a part of you and Kennedy's relationship I'd rather not." He joked and I laughed as I slapped his chest lightly.

"Great. Ruining lives one band member at a time." I joked and we both laughed.

"Let's go get some food. I'm starving."

"And you're already too skinny." I said patting his stomach.

"I'm slightly offended."

I laughed and sat up, allowing him to pull me from the bed.

"You aren't so big yourself little Kirch." He said picking me up and I rolled my eyes as he laughed and carried me to the living room.

"Shortness runs in my family."

"I know, look at your brother."

I giggled and he sat me on the couch. The guys had left some time ago which I was thankful for.

"Promise me something Cass." He said seriously and I nodded urging him to continue.

"Don't get too attached to Garrett. He feels a lot for you and I don't want him to get hurt."

I frowned, "We're friends. We've talked about it."

"Yeah, but you know better than anyone that, that doesn't make the feelings go away."

"I know." I whispered as he went into the kitchen. I needed to remember that.

The days seemed to past slowly and although the guys tried to keep me busy as possible I still would find myself thinking of Kennedy when I was alone. I couldn't help it though. As much as I claimed to hate him I still loved him.

"Garrett. If you make me fall!" I said through my laughter. Garrett spun around as I held on to him tightly.

"Garrett!" I shouted as we reached my apartment and he came to an immediate stop. I looked up from his shoulder as he dropped my legs allowing me off his back. I peered around his arm to see Kennedy of all people standing in front of my door. I instantly froze. I couldn't even breathe right.

"Hey I brought pizza!" I heard John say from behind us but once he reached me his eyes grew wide, "Kennedy...uh, how are you here?" He asked with confusion and I looked at him, "How?"

"Yeah, I thought I was suppose to get him from the airport."

"You knew he was coming?" I asked hurt crossing my face and he sighed, "Cassidy..."

"How long?" I asked and he looked away from me.

I shook my head furiously, "Leave."

"Cassidy..."

"Go!" I said tears threatening my eyes.

Pain crossed John's face and I felt my chest tighten as Garrett grabbed me tightly.

"Just listen to me!" John begged and I shook my head, "No! You lied to me! You watched me cry for days and you knew he was coming back! You are no better than him!" I said as tears now ran down my cheeks.

John now seemed tortured as him and Garrett didn't dare move.

I grabbed Garrett's hand and pulled him to the door Kennedy was standing in front of.

"Move." I managed to say calmer than I thought I could.

"Cassidy." He said and I then couldn't help but raise my voice, "Move!"

He did as told and I tried to unlock the door which Garrett had to take over because I was shaking so bad.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Kennedy said and I stifled a laugh, "Enjoy sitting outside because I never want to talk to you or see you again."

"That's fine." He said as Garrett finally opened the door and I quickly shoved him in slamming and locking the door behind us.

"Please tell me you didn't know Garrett."

"No. I swear to you I didn't."

I nodded and he quickly wrapped me in his arms.

I cried into his shirt and he tried to calm me down.

"I can't believe John..."

"Cass, he just wants you two to be together."

"Yeah, well that's never going to happen!"

"You and I both know that's a lie, love."

I looked up at him and he gave me a weak grin as he brought his hand to my cheek, "As selfish as I want to be with you, you love him and he loves you and you two are only hurting each other by not realizing that."

I sniffled and he cupped my face before he placed his lips on my forehead.

"I don't want to see him." I whispered and he shrugged, "Then don't. But you should let him explain himself."

Garrett gave me a grin as he removed himself from me and reached for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving princess. I have to don't you see? I shield you from everything you are too scared to face, but sometimes you need to just suck it up and get it over with."

"Garrett...." I fumbled out because in a way I knew he was right. The comfort I found in Garrett was that he was willing to protect me from everything that I hated.

"I love you, you know? You're one of my best friends, that's why I'm doing this. Don't hate me, ok?" He said and I watched him leave which made me cry even more. I sat against the wall and brought my knees to my chest unsure of where to go from here.

I was back to square one all over again.